People who don't care about their health

[BlaqueKatt]

Absolutely none of my business if one of my closest friends - whom I consider a fucking brother - kills himself slowly. None of my business if he has a heart attack, or gets horribly ill, or has a stroke. None of my business if I have to bury my friend because he was too stubborn to change his diet.

Nope, not my concern at all.

no it's not-what if he gets hit by a car crossing the street to the health food store? or forgets to tie his shoes and falls down the stairs? Maybe he shouldn't do anything-after all just leaving the house is dangerous....but wait most accidents happen in the home-OMG! No one's safe, just slightly safer


I just buried my cousin-she was 4 years older than I am-I'm 33. She was active, a vegetarian, didn't smoke or drink. She died of breast cancer. We have no history of cancer anywhere in our family, she was the first case ever.

She did everything she was "supposed" to and still died.
Let me repeat that:
She did everything she was "supposed" to and still died.

Her diet and not smoking or drinking is due to our family history of heart disease-she only gave up meat due to the fear of getting it, so she made herself miserable to avoid what might have happened and was blindsided by what she never expected. She denied herself 10 years of living her life and enjoying it because she was afraid.

Look, I realize that this is his life and he can live it how he chooses, but I have every right to be afraid for his health and depressed that he may be digging an early grave for himself.

Does my mom have the right to be afraid because I choose to ride my bike in the winter? Because I might get hurt/killed? Should I give up enjoying my life because it upsets someone to think something bad may happen? I'd rather go out knowing I lived my life doing what I loved and not live to be 90 because I spent my life wrapped in bubble wrap not enjoying anything because I was too afraid of what might happen.

For the record, I have been hit by a car, last Friday, did it stop me from biking yesterday when we had 18 inches of snow? No-I love riding and everyone that knows me knows-if I had to choose a way to go it would be on my bike. My cousin's death re-reminded me how a person can do everything right and still be snuffed out(my step-brother's murder did the same about 10 years ago)


Guess what I'm trying to say is: Given a long enough timeline everyone's survival rate is zero-you may as well enjoy whatever time you have to the fullest.

[jackfaire]

"But I did okay, didn't I? I mean I got, what, fifteen thousand years. That's pretty good, isn't it? I lived a pretty long time."

"You lived what anybody gets, Bernie. You got a lifetime. No more. No less."

-Sandman series by Neil Gaiman

[Crescent Cat]

Before I even start, BlaqueKatt, I just want to apologize for your cousin's death. Cancer is a horrible way to go and I'm truly sorry that you lost her to something like this.

That being said, I still find your presumptuous attitude insulting.

First, regarding whether my if friend suffers consequences from his diet is my business. . .

no it's not

So, I guess someone who has an alcoholic in the family has no right to be concerned or upset about it, huh? Same goes for someone who's suicidal. It's totally not his family's business that life sucks and he's trying to end it. They should just leave him alone and let him kill himself!

what if he gets hit by a car crossing the street to the health food store? or forgets to tie his shoes and falls down the stairs? Maybe he shouldn't do anything-after all just leaving the house is dangerous....but wait most accidents happen in the home-OMG! No one's safe, just slightly safer

See, this whole attitude of "oh I may get hit by a bus so I'm gonna use that as an excuse to be a lazy shit" mentality pisses me off. Oh, I may get killed in a car accident so I guess there's no point in going to school, ne? I'm just gonna waste my life away in a classroom only to get hit by a semi on my way back home from the graduation ceremony.

Listen up, kids! Drop out of school and just go crazy! Live for the moment! You'll probably die in a horrible accident before age 20 so don't bother planning for the future! It's just a waste!

She did everything she was "supposed" to and still died.
Let me repeat that:
She did everything she was "supposed" to and still died.

Let me repeat something I said in my first post: My friend went to the doctor and was informed he was in pre-diabetes. He was told it was due to his diet. His diet is affecting his health - this is a fact, not my paranoid delusion.

Are there cases where someone drinks, smokes, eats like crap and lives to 90? Yes. Do perfectly "healthy" young people suddenly die even though they've taken good care of themselves? Yes.

It happens, but it's not all that likely.

Her diet and not smoking or drinking is due to our family history of heart disease-she only gave up meat due to the fear of getting it, so she made herself miserable to avoid what might have happened and was blindsided by what she never expected. She denied herself 10 years of living her life and enjoying it because she was afraid.

Oh yes, because eating healthy is sooooo horrible.

Was she really miserable being an active vegetarian who didn't smoke or drink? I find that hard to believe. I'm a pescaterian who doesn't smoke (I drink a little every now and then) and I love it. It's not a punishment. A healthy diet can be every bit as delicious as a "normal" diet - hell it can taste better! Much, much better.

Does my mom have the right to be afraid because I choose to ride my bike in the winter? Because I might get hurt/killed?

Yes, yes she does. It's not a crime for a mother to be afraid for her child.

I'm also an avid bike rider so I'm well aware of the dangers that come with it and I don't plan on stopping any time soon. Just because I take the time to care about my health doesn't mean I'm deluded into thinking that I'll live forever and nothing will happen to me.

And where did I ever say that I was forcing my friend to change his life? I believe I've stated multiple times that it is his life and he can live it how he chooses. I can fucking worry about him if I want to. He's my friend and I don't want anything bad to happen to him because of his diet.

Does this mean I bring it up every time I see him? Does this mean I'm constantly riding his ass about it?

A bit of information for you. I'm not and I don't plan on mentioning it to him ever again. I've already had the heart-to-heart with him about it and he's still not willing to change so I'm not going to force him. I still hang out with him and we have a great time together. While I'm clearly not happy about his life choice I'm not going to let that ruin our friendship.

I'm all for enjoying life to the fullest. That's why I eat healthy - because I want to take it in without feeling sick and tired all the time.

I'd also like to mention that I get sick significantly less often than my sister - who (surprise) has a shitty diet and almost never eats veggies. You think that's a coincidence? Not only that but I feel great in general. When I was living off of fast food and microwave dinners I felt like crap all the time. Now I feel great - it's amazing what a little change like that can do for your body.

So what if I might get shot or hit by a car someday? At least now I can experience the good affects of a healthy living style.

Edit - One more thing I should mention.

I'm at high risk for breast cancer. My grandmother had it, my mother had it, so quess who's next in line? Not only that but diabetes runs in my family as well.

I realize that in spite of my best efforts, I could still be diagnosed with breast cancer. I could run two miles a day, have an absolutely impeccable diet, never drink and still get breast cancer.

But you know what? If that does happen, at least I can say three things.

1. I did everything I could to stop it.
2. I enjoyed good health while I could.
3. I have no regrets.

[Mr Slugger]

So, I guess someone who has an alcoholic in the family has no right to be concerned or upset about it, huh? Same goes for someone who's suicidal. It's totally not his family's business that life sucks and he's trying to end it. They should just leave him alone and let him kill himself!

Not at all, like I said I see it all the time. I've got a customer right now that's dealing with his brother whose been in and out of rehab 10 times this year. Been admitted to the hospital numerous times for drinking until he has seizures. This guy is clearly ticked about his brother. But I think as times goes on it's more that he's pissed cause it wastes his time. But he knows he can't control everything he does, in fact the guy has never asked us to not serve him. He just waits until his brother ends up in the hospital and lies to the doctors about how much he's drinking, and he'll say the truth. Like I said you have a reason to be pissed, but at the same time sometimes it's a losing battle.

I'd also like to mention that I get sick significantly less often than my sister - who (surprise) has a shitty diet and almost never eats veggies. You think that's a coincidence?

But growing up from like 16 to 26 all I ate was fast food and drank like 3-4 2 liters of soda a day and I went from the age of 13 to 27 without getting sick at all. Not even the sniffles. And even though I eat healthier now I still don't eat what would be considered healthy, but I've only had 2 colds that have knocked me down for a day, and those colds knocked my wife and kids down for a week. I always end up with a very mild version of any cold that's floating around the house. So I think that it really depends on the person.

[BlaqueKatt]

That being said, I still find your presumptuous attitude insulting.

wasn't aware I was presuming anything-however I have woken up to the fact that spending my time worrying about other people/things outside my control did nothing but give me an ulcer, make me cranky, caused sleep loss, and minor depression. It accomplishes nothing positive or productive at all.

So, I guess someone who has an alcoholic in the family has no right to be concerned or upset about it, huh? Same goes for someone who's suicidal. It's totally not his family's business that life sucks and he's trying to end it. They should just leave him alone and let him kill himself!

Well considering the more a person tries to force another person to get help the more they resist-usually-not in all cases but in most they will. Nagging an alcoholic will usually make them drink more-they won't change until they want to.

See, this whole attitude of "oh I may get hit by a bus so I'm gonna use that as an excuse to be a lazy shit" mentality pisses me off.

nice so living for now, enjoying what I have right now, spending time with my loved ones instead of working massive overtime to surround myself with meaningless materialistic crap, instead of worrying about the future which I may not see(health issues I can't fix and have no control over-I lost the genetic lottery, so did my spouse) is "Lazy" to you-good to know. Guess I should tell my mom who's had two heart attacks that I can't take a random day off to spend with her because I need the money from work for my future....which has been estimated at 5-10 years at best-not a damn thing that can be done about it either.

Oh, I may get killed in a car accident so I guess there's no point in going to school, ne? I'm just gonna waste my life away in a classroom only to get hit by a semi on my way back home from the graduation ceremony.

If one is only going to school because it's expected and not something the person actually wants to do then yes there is no point.

Was she really miserable being an active vegetarian who didn't smoke or drink? I find that hard to believe.

She missed meat terribly, but due to fear of getting sick wouldn't touch it-being afraid to eat something you love isn't exactly enjoyable for most people. Plus anemia is not exactly pleasant either. Especially when coupled with chemo. And when she stated several times at family functions-that her diet was supposed to be better for her but she hated it-that pretty much tells me that yeah she probably was miserable.

Sorry if you find it "hard to believe" that some people are drastically different from you.

Due to both iron deficiency anemia, and vitamin B12 deficiency anemia, being a vegetarian would make me very very ill(miserable), like it did my cousin, also I posted previously the list of foods I'm allergic to-which is mainly fruits and vegetables-so were I to become a vegetarian I would most definitely be totally miserable. I've tried a few times, always ends with a medical professional telling me "you're killing yourself, give it up please"

I can fucking worry about him if I want to.

not saying you can't but what does it accomplish?
worry-to torment oneself with or suffer from disturbing thoughts; fret.

[blas87]

A little OT but Katt, you said you got hit by a car?! I hope you're alright!

[Crescent Cat]

wasn't aware I was presuming anything-however I have woken up to the fact that spending my time worrying about other people/things outside my control did nothing but give me an ulcer, make me cranky, caused sleep loss, and minor depression. It accomplishes nothing positive or productive at all.

What I gathered from your post is that you were saying I was naive to take care of my health. That I was too stupid to understand that we are all going to die one day and that a good diet won't protect us from everything. Also that people can do everything their "supposed" to do and still die young. I get that. I know.

Oh and then there's this. When I said I could worry about my friend you responded with:

not saying you can't . . .

Bullshit. You were basically telling me that I have no right or business being concerned about what could happen to my friend. The point I was trying to make with the analogy with the family members of the alcoholic and suicidal man is that, according to what you said in your post, they have no right to be worried or upset about it because the alcoholic/suicidal man are choosing to behave the way they are.

Just like what you said about whether your mother should have the right to be concerned about you when you ride your bike in winter.

As long as someone is not trying to interfere with someone else's way of living, they can feel fear and concern for him or her if they want to.

[BlaqueKatt]

A little OT but Katt, you said you got hit by a car?! I hope you're alright!

I'm fine- just jammed my shoulder-thankfully years of skateboarding when my body could still handle it, taught me how to fall with minimal injury.

[Lace Neil Singer]

I smoke, and I get it all the time from well meaning busybodies whinging about how bad my health is. Compared to my health nut friend, I get less colds, less illnesses and guess what, she's just gone down with swine flu despite doing everything she can to prevent it. I eat fruit and veggies every day, cuz I like them. I swim lots and walk where I can. However, I really don't see the point in being a health nut like she is. That's her lifestyle choice, not mine. I wouldn't for the world go on and on at her tho to tell her to lighten up, smoke, drink more and exercise less.

I agree with Katt to some extent. My friend James was healthy, ate well, didn't smoke; and still died in a motorbike accident nearly two years ago. If you don't enjoy living, then what's the point of it all? Your number could be up sooner than you think, despite your healthy lifestyle. Tell your friend once, tell him that if he needs help then you're there; then leave it. Nagging him to change himself will just drive him away from you and will make him less inclined to do so.