Need any help?

[DrFaroohk]

I'm getting overly sick of this: Someone prepared a meal for me. MAybe not me specifically, but I'm at a gathering eating someone else's food. It's great. Afterwards....

"Hey, can I help you clean up?"

"Nope."

"Ok."

Then later....

"Hey did you see that DrFaroohk guy? He didn't even help me clean up!"

[jackfaire]

Uhm Seriously? Wow that's messed up.

[DrFaroohk]

Yeah it happens all the time, not just the cleaning up situation. It could be that I offer to bring a dish, and they say no, or being offered the last portion of food only to be criticized for eating the last portion of food, or anything. I could offer some old man to help him shovel his driveway and he'll say "Nope!" and then "stupid punk, wouldn't even help me shovel my driveway!"

I hate people. They really really suck. Either that I need to up the dose on my medication.

[powerboy]

I get that at times. I take the last slice of something, I get critized for it.

[MaggieTheCat]

That used to happen all the time when I was living with my parents, regarding most chores around the house. My mom would be making dinner, or vacuuming, or washing dishes, or whatever. I'd offer to help, she'd refuse, I'd offer AGAIN, she'd still refuse. Later on, I'd get told I'm a lazy spoiled brat because I never do anything around the house to help out. I guess I was expected to just force my way in front of the sink to wash those dishes.

[Stormraven]

That's exactly it. They want the help, but they likely feel guilty about asking guests, so they want the guest to insist on helping / bringing food.

[blas87]

Or it's like the people you offer to pay gas money for (or whatever to reimburse) for giving you rides, or offering any kind of reimbursement for nice good deeds, being turned down, THEN them saying that you didn't offer anything and used them!

[KellyHabersham]

My sister (I'll call her "Patty") pulled something like that with me last summer - without going into great detail, our mom had emergency gallbladder surgery, she stayed with "Patty" and her husband/kids during the first week or so of recuperation, and any offers I made of helping out with things were turned down.

Later on, though, I found out that "Patty" had apparently complained to our mom that I (and my brother as well) had flat-out refused to help with anything, and this was definitley NOT true.

[jackfaire]

Yeah I don't brook that attitude from any one.

On the other side I refuse all offers of "hey I will bring this dish and this dish" and then it's irritating when they bring it anyway.

[AdminAssistant]

My mom is great about that...she'll ask me to help and I'll pitch in without being asked. She just gave me a bowl of ice cream!! (I love my mommy...)

[jackfaire]

My mom is great about that...she'll ask me to help and I'll pitch in without being asked. She just gave me a bowl of ice cream!! (I love my mommy...)

LOL. When I help my mom in her storage sheds I get stuff. I furnished my entire apartment with stuff she and other people were getting rid of.

[AdminAssistant]

LOL. When I help my mom in her storage sheds I get stuff. I furnished my entire apartment with stuff she and other people were getting rid of.

Oh, gosh...Mom and Dad are constantly trying to give me furniture and stuff....stuff I don't need, won't fit in the apartment, and have no way to get to KS... But they have good intentions.

[Slytovhand]

Actually, I love that sort of situation... I offer, they turn it down, they bitch later... I throw it back in their face! I mention their over-inflated sense of pride that they just couldn't ask for something or for help.. or accept it when it's offered.

So, I don't take that kind of shit... more than once. If they want to make a deal of it, then I won't even offer. IF it happens again, I turn down their invites and remove myself from their environment... I don't need 'friends' like that.

OTOH, such as the other day, I'll just do. And even tell the host person to sit down and damn well enjoy the party they've been tirelessly running around for for hours! They usually argue, but I don't relent

[MergedLoki]

I get that from my dad.

Case in point. we got snow (now it was very VERY lightly snowing when I got home, light enough that there wasn't enough to bother shovelling so i went inside the house and did whatever i was doing).

anyways few hours later my dad gets home, says 'i'm going out to shovel the snow' i ask him if he wants a hand he says no. and then he bitches about me to my mom later saying im lazy and don't do anything.

Because he 'expects' me to do it before he's home.
A. I've never been told of this 'expectation' and sadly i'm not telepathic.

B. My mom's well aware of this and has said she knows i offer to help out around the house and get told 'nope it's fine' only to be sniped at later for 'not helping'.

and if i bring up the total massive hypocrisy of it all i just get bitched at more.
Fall can't come quick enough (done uni. moving out lol)

[DrFaroohk]

My dad used to bitch that I wasn't doing enough to help around the house (this was when I was living there as a tenant), and that I slept in every day until noon. Cuz i'm so lazy! What he was forgetting was my job was from 3-11 p.m. I got home one night and at about 2 am i started vacuuming. Hey, that's when my functioning hours are. He never bitched about the housework again.