not a "church girl"

[KellyHabersham]

*inspired because of a comment which I received from a guy whom I've been exchanging messages with on a personal ads site*

Just because I work as a secretary for a church, and am a Christian, does NOT mean I'm some uptight religious freak or a "church girl". And it's gotten to where I hate getting specific about that job when talking with potential dates because they nearly always "have" to make some stereotypical comment.

[jackfaire]

Wow. That's actually a really good moron meter.

[Boozy]

I'd mention it right off the bat. It's a quick way to screen out closed-minded guys.

[blas87]

It may seem counter productive, but it's actually better to be straightforward about things that you may feel nervous about sharing. It's a good way to weed out guys that are obviously not into getting to know you for you.

[KellyHabersham]

Well, what mostly gets me when this happens is that the guy will usually follow up with something like "Oh, so you're not a "church girl"? Hehehehe.,....you must be a naughty girl, then. " (which is what happened with the guy who'd inspired this post......needless to say, I won't be talking to him further)

[jackfaire]

Wow. On behalf of my gender I am sorry

[XCashier]

Nice. They can't be bothered to get to know who you really are, so they'll just assume you're one extreme or the other.

Isn't stereotyping fun?

[jackfaire]

Isn't stereotyping fun?

It is I always assume people are one extreme.

Extremely awesome

[MadMike]

It may seem counter productive, but it's actually better to be straightforward about things that you may feel nervous about sharing. It's a good way to weed out guys that are obviously not into getting to know you for you.

Exactly. One of my best friends, back when she was still dating, would always tell any potential boyfriends two things before things went anywhere -- 1. she has three kids, and 2. most of her friends are guys.

If they had a problem with either one, then they weren't worth her time.

[guywithashovel]

I've been on and off of a dating site for the past three years. I haven't had much trouble getting matched with people who are in sync with my religious views. However, I have had trouble with the site matching me with girls who don't share my childbearing desires. As I've said in other threads, I have decided that I do not want to have children. However, I often get matched with girls who are hoping to have three or four children after marriage. Don't get me wrong. I'm sure they are great ladies, but if they want that many kids, they are certainly not compatible with me. Now, I just write on my "no kids" desire on my profile so as to weed these ones out.

[KellyHabersham]

I don't think it's really a religious thing so much as it's these guys making assumptions about me based on a stereotype. Because I also get these sort of comments about my library job........had one guy who tried to chat me up in person ask me if I liked books.

[jackfaire]

*scratches head* Uhm my grandmother was a children's librarian loved books. Every librarian I have known was a book fan. Asking if you like books isn't a good question?

[KellyHabersham]

I would say it's not a good question because the answer is really obvious.......it would be like asking a dentist if they like/are interested in teeth. (but that's just my personal opinion)

[jackfaire]

I would say it's not a good question because the answer is really obvious.......it would be like asking a dentist if they like/are interested in teeth. (but that's just my personal opinion)

Ah. Okay. I am the kind of guy that would ask because I wouldn't want to make assumptions about a person based on their job.

I am sure there is a librarian who doesn't like books or thinks fiction is a waste of time and looks down on anyone that doesn't read the "right" kind of books as stupid.

[kiwi]

Well, what mostly gets me when this happens is that the guy will usually follow up with something like "Oh, so you're not a "church girl"? Hehehehe.,....you must be a naughty girl, then. "

Thus further proving an art history professors theory that in general women fill one of two roles, the virgin/mother role or the temptress/whore role.

I know which one I would rather be