Not Daddy

[DrFaroohk]

Took my stepson to the doctor and the doctor got all upset because he calls me by my first name rather than Daddy. Well I'm not his daddy. Why would he call me daddy? He has a daddy. He's comfortable calling me by my name, and I'm comfortable with it. I think it's just adding lots of unnecessary confusion by having him call me AND his father both daddy. And his father, while being a total screwup in life, is at least making an effort to get himself straightened out, and I think it's just a slap in the face for him to have his kid calling someone else daddy.

The worst part was I felt compelled to justify it to the doctor when it was really none of her business! Her job is to give him shots and take his blood pressure, not criticize us on our family structure.

[jackfaire]

The worst part was I felt compelled to justify it to the doctor when it was really none of her business! Her job is to give him shots and take his blood pressure, not criticize us on our family structure.

I could be talking out my ass but I think it is because from early age we are taught to think of doctors, lawyers, teachers, etc as experts of everything.

[HYHYBT]

Did the doctor say *why* she thought you should be called Daddy?

[gremcint]

it's none of her business, tell her that.

[Nyoibo]

I could be talking out my ass but I think it is because from early age we are taught to think of doctors, lawyers, teachers, etc as experts of everything.

When they really aren't, my uncles a lawyer and is one of the most impracticle people I've ever met and when I went to the doctor last and new more about the musculo-skeletal system than he did.

[jackfaire]

When they really aren't, my uncles a lawyer and is one of the most impracticle people I've ever met and when I went to the doctor last and new more about the musculo-skeletal system than he did.

Exactly!!! I don't think I am an expert at anything but I learn a bit of psych here, lawyering there, etc enough to be able to talk to a professional in that field when I need their help. But I assume that they don't necessarily know everything.

Though the Doctor that told me to meditate my way to health along with excercise and eating right got mad props from me.

[MadMike]

I always called my stepdad by his name, and no one thought that was weird. Interestingly enough, he's a doctor.

[jackfaire]

My ex isn't married to the guy but might as well be. My daughter refers to her guy as MY SCOTT the word My is part of his name as much as Dad is my name.

[LadyBarbossa]

It really is none of her business. And my brother knows from firsthand experience how hurtful it is to hear his son call another man 'Daddy'. I'm not saying that it wouldn't work in the right situation if all parties were in agreement, but that wasn't the case, and it was the issue of much heartache for a year or so.

Most people I know with stepfathers will call them by their first name; one set of teens I know have been pretty much raised by their stepdad with no involvement from their biological father, but they still call their mother's husband Jimmy, and always have.

It's all a personal choice, and I really don't see why your physician should get her feathers ruffled about it.

[Stormraven]

I never knew my real father, and he wouldn't have ever been called 'daddy' even if I had. (At most, he might have rated a 'father') But we called our stepfather by his first name, and do to this day.

[IDrinkaRum]

My dad calls his step-dad "Dad".

Actually, I've never heard any of my friends with step-fathers/mothers call them either "mom" or "dad". Not sure why, but that's that.

And I'm with the others: It's not the doctor's place to question why your child calls you "dad", "daddy", "father', or "first name here". Next time you have to take your kid to the practice, request to see a different doctor and let them know why, if you're comfortable.

[Amina516]

it could have been that the doctor was looking for normal developmental signs and a sense of the kids personality. They do more than just health screenings, psych issues may also be found at these appointments.

That being said, i dont know how the doctor approached the OP, but it sounds like she was out of line with her comments. Ignore the hag.

[crashhelmet]

My brother and two oldest sisters are from my mom's first marriage. They call my dad by hist first name, but whenever he's introduced to people, they call him dad. They never say the word "step" and my dad does the same when introducing them.

In the beginning it was a lot of "You're not my dad. I don't have to listen to you." type arguments. Now, he's the only dad they know or want to know.

CH

[Ghel]

This is a potential minefield that I have to deal with at work. I never assume that children have the same last name as the parent. I never assume that the child of one spouse is also the child of the other spouse. And I would never presume that a stepchild should call their stepparent "Mommy" or "Daddy." I completely agree that it was rude for the doctor to insist that your stepson call you "Daddy." There are so many different family structures that it makes sense for each one to choose their own way of addressing family members.

I was grown when my mom remarried, and I never bonded with her husband in any way. So he's not my stepdad, and I would never consider calling him "Dad" or "Father" or anything. I usually refer to them as "my mom and her husband." Maybe this is a little callous, but if anybody tried to insist that I call him "Dad," I would be upset with them, too.

[jackfaire]

This is a potential minefield that I have to deal with at work. I never assume that children have the same last name as the parent. I never assume that the child of one spouse is also the child of the other spouse. And I would never presume that a stepchild should call their stepparent "Mommy" or "Daddy." I completely agree that it was rude for the doctor to insist that your stepson call you "Daddy." There are so many different family structures that it makes sense for each one to choose their own way of addressing family members.

I was grown when my mom remarried, and I never bonded with her husband in any way. So he's not my stepdad, and I would never consider calling him "Dad" or "Father" or anything. I usually refer to them as "my mom and her husband." Maybe this is a little callous, but if anybody tried to insist that I call him "Dad," I would be upset with them, too.

That is exactly how I feel about my mom's fiance. He is either my mom's fiance or My college friend's dad.