You Almost Hit Me!!!

[DrFaroohk]

It seems some people need a clarification on what "you almost hit me" means.

It does not mean my vehicle was, at some point, within 20 feet on you.

It means I was driving like a bat out of hell, not paying attention, and I was bearing down on your ass until the very last second when I regained my senses, and was able to swerve away, narrowly missing you to the point that you felt the breeze from my car.

People tend to use it as an excuse to bitch about something. "Look at that guy driving and talking on his cellphone! He almost hit me!"

No he didn't.

I used to get this one as a youngster - some random person would approach me and say "I hey saw you in the parking lot the other day, you ALMOST HIT MY CAR!" No I didn't. I was driving, I approached your car, and I stopped. Almost hitting your car would mean I had actually lost control of my vehicle and narrowly avoided an accident. That didn't happen. And actually, the ONLY person on this planet, aside from maybe God or Kronos, who knows whether or not I almost hit your car is ME So go fuck yourself.

[Boozy]

I've gotten the "you almost hit me" thing before while driving normally. I slowly pulled up to a crosswalk, brought my vehicle to a complete stop as there were people waiting to cross, waited patiently several feet back from the crosswalk until they were completely onto the opposite sidewalk, and then proceeded through it at a very slow speed.

I parked my car on the other side of the crosswalk and got out, only to be accused of reckless driving by some pedestrian. It still baffles me to this day.

[protege]

When I went to pick up my grandmother at the nursing home last summer...I had some old bat claim that I "almost hit her." Keep in mind that she was sitting on a park bench near the door, and if I'd hit her...I'd have plowed right into the limo parked to her left. I ignored her, and then she started yelling about how I "shouldn't be on the roads"

My reaction? "Bugger off, bitch." I could understand if I came within inches, but 10 feet? How does 10 feet = almost hitting? Maybe if I was piloting the space shuttle, or the Titanic...but a car? I had enough space I could have parked a jumbo jet between where my car stopped, and the bench she was sitting on. Of course, this is the same woman who is in that place...because she's literally crazy. I mean, tinfoil-hat-the-CIA-is-going-to-get-me-crazy

[blas87]

Many times on a weekend night that my bf and I are out just for a drink or two, and I have to drive (and I DO bear in mind that these people have always been drunk in these situations, but STILL not an excuse), we've went to turn out of the parking lot while pedestrians (the drunk college kids) were about to cross, and even though I was watching and didn't come even CLOSE to hitting any of them, more than once those fucking retards have pounded on my trunk or tried to kick my bumper.

The last time, bf was drunk enough where he was yelling at me to stop the car so he could get out and smash their heads against my car, but I was able to stop him. Sure, they would have deserved a good something for pounding my car, but not being put in the hospital......and it's not worth sticking around and getting arrested anyways.

[protege]

Even better, are the idiots who walk *into* your car, and you're completely stopped. Seriously, WTF are you on?

In fact, some idiot did that to me last night! This guy, stepped out from between two telephone poles, walked into my front fender, and then screamed because I was "in the crosswalk." Uh, no asshole. The crosswalk is over *there* (opposite where I was sitting), and you're drunk.

[Fryk]

Blas, I'd just tell your boyfriend that you don't want their skull dents on your hood.

[blas87]

Well, I'm afraid of car washes and I really didn't feel like cleaning blood and brains off of my car.