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Looking different deserves disrespect.
Lately I've been mulling over ideas for an essay on Cosplay and Etiquette.
Not only ettiquete for cosplayers when dealing with their own groups or interacting with the public, but including a section for non-cosplayers as well, aimed to educate them a little and generally make interaction better for everyone.
One thing I plan to mention, but feel it's also worthy of a stand-alone rant is this:
The belief/attitude some people have that if there's anything different about you, then somehow, that gives others a pass to say nasty things/ touch you without permission/ abuse their power when dealing with you/ otherwise chuck the rules of common decency. And simultaneously, you lose the right to be offended at the other person's behavior.
It's not just people who look majorly different from the norm, such as goths and cosplayers who get this. Even completely normal-looking people with something unique about them get this- I've heard of people with really long or strikingly coloured hair having total strangers come up and just touch or run their fingers through it without so much as a "by your leave". I've heard of people with partially visible tattoos having their sleeves pulled up by strangers who want to see the design, again without asking. And ask almost any pregnant woman how sick she is of her body somehow being communal property- people feel it's okay to just walk up and rub her belly.
And the comments? Again, it's not just those who look majorly different who get verbally abused. Again, totally normal-looking folks who dye their hair have been known to get nasty comments made about their alleged sexuality or deviance, and questions about the "curtains matching the drapes". Or the nasty remarks made about tattoos, or the circumstances of a stranger's pregnancy, or a stranger's weight.
So a total stranger comes up to you, grabs or touches without permission, and makes some...interesting assumptions about your life or lack thereof, your mental status, or whatever, and now because you had the temerity to be even the slightest bit different, you're the one with the problem because their rude or hurtful behavior offends you.
I HATE THIS! I hate it with the fury of 1,000 suns gone supernova. Why?
One, its pure "Blame the victim". It's okay to be nasty to somebody who looks different, after all they must be different because they want attention. It couldn't possibly be that they wear different clothes, got a tattoo or dyed their hair simply because it made them happy. Or got pregnant because they really wanted a family. Nooo. They just did it for attention, and because of that it's okay to abuse them.
Two, it sends a bad message about conformity- After all, if you don't want to be treated like shit, play the chameleon, knuckle under and conform like a good little drone. If you get abused by some stranger, it's all your fault for not blending in with the wallpaper.
Three, it ignores the fact that the antagonist just committed a MAJOR ettiquette faux pas by laying hands on you and/or showering you in verbal bile. Because you "provoked them", their bad behavior gets swept under the rug.
Four, it gives people a pass to act badly towards others. After all, they can't help it when they see somebody different in any way, they're curious and can't be expected to practice self moderation. They are relieved of the burden of learning any sort of self-control or of even the most basic of civilized bahavior.
Not only ettiquete for cosplayers when dealing with their own groups or interacting with the public, but including a section for non-cosplayers as well, aimed to educate them a little and generally make interaction better for everyone.
One thing I plan to mention, but feel it's also worthy of a stand-alone rant is this:
The belief/attitude some people have that if there's anything different about you, then somehow, that gives others a pass to say nasty things/ touch you without permission/ abuse their power when dealing with you/ otherwise chuck the rules of common decency. And simultaneously, you lose the right to be offended at the other person's behavior.
It's not just people who look majorly different from the norm, such as goths and cosplayers who get this. Even completely normal-looking people with something unique about them get this- I've heard of people with really long or strikingly coloured hair having total strangers come up and just touch or run their fingers through it without so much as a "by your leave". I've heard of people with partially visible tattoos having their sleeves pulled up by strangers who want to see the design, again without asking. And ask almost any pregnant woman how sick she is of her body somehow being communal property- people feel it's okay to just walk up and rub her belly.
And the comments? Again, it's not just those who look majorly different who get verbally abused. Again, totally normal-looking folks who dye their hair have been known to get nasty comments made about their alleged sexuality or deviance, and questions about the "curtains matching the drapes". Or the nasty remarks made about tattoos, or the circumstances of a stranger's pregnancy, or a stranger's weight.
So a total stranger comes up to you, grabs or touches without permission, and makes some...interesting assumptions about your life or lack thereof, your mental status, or whatever, and now because you had the temerity to be even the slightest bit different, you're the one with the problem because their rude or hurtful behavior offends you.
I HATE THIS! I hate it with the fury of 1,000 suns gone supernova. Why?
One, its pure "Blame the victim". It's okay to be nasty to somebody who looks different, after all they must be different because they want attention. It couldn't possibly be that they wear different clothes, got a tattoo or dyed their hair simply because it made them happy. Or got pregnant because they really wanted a family. Nooo. They just did it for attention, and because of that it's okay to abuse them.
Two, it sends a bad message about conformity- After all, if you don't want to be treated like shit, play the chameleon, knuckle under and conform like a good little drone. If you get abused by some stranger, it's all your fault for not blending in with the wallpaper.
Three, it ignores the fact that the antagonist just committed a MAJOR ettiquette faux pas by laying hands on you and/or showering you in verbal bile. Because you "provoked them", their bad behavior gets swept under the rug.
Four, it gives people a pass to act badly towards others. After all, they can't help it when they see somebody different in any way, they're curious and can't be expected to practice self moderation. They are relieved of the burden of learning any sort of self-control or of even the most basic of civilized bahavior.
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