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Parents who don't monitor their children on the internet

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  • #1

    Parents who don't monitor their children on the internet

    I was so disturbed this morning by something that showed up on my live feed on Facebook.

    I have a young girl on my Facebook friends. She just turned 11 years old last week.
    She's a member of the youth group where I help as an adult advisor.
    I work with her mother and her mother's fiance. (I have both of them on my Facebook friends as well.)

    This morning, on 2 separate news announcements, I was informed that this little girl had found her lover, and it was a different boy each time.
    WTF???

    How is this even appropriate for a an 11 year old child?

    I know I tend to be a bit prudish, but what is wrong with letting children stay young and innocent?

    If that was my daughter, there is no way in hell she would be allowed access to applications such as that.

    I seriously do not understand why some parents don't monitor their children more closely when they are on the internet.

    I realize the children don't really understand the implications of these types of posts and applications, but isn't that also a sad comment on society that something so adult is seen as just a bit of fun?
    Point to Ponder:

    Is it considered irony when someone on an internet forum makes a post that can be considered to look like it was written by a 3rd grade dropout, and they are poking fun of the fact that another person couldn't spell?
    Tags: None
  • #2
    I'm thinking you are thinking too far into it. That application is a Valentine's Day thing. It just randomly picks a person you talk to often, of the sex you prefer, and that's who it is. Basically it just picks a Valentine for you.
    Violence has resolved more conflicts than anything else. The contrary opinion that violence doesn't solve anything is merely wishful thinking at its worst. - Starship Troopers

    Comment

    • #3
      I don't understand why a girl using an ap that just picks a random person to be her "lover" is bad? I suppose we better confiscate those little folded paper things girls use to figure out who their husband is going to be before these girls realize the implications of discussing a relationship. With this sort of off hands parenting that mother might find her daughter totally crushing on a boy and be helpless to stop it. Lord help her if her daughter gets ahold of a copy of Tiger Beet. Then its game over.

      Comment

      • #4
        There's a huge leap between an 11 year old using a Facebook application to select a "lover" and those silly little games we played to find out who we were going to marry, whether it was a little paper triangle thingy or the petals of a daisy.

        The word "lover" has an adult, sexual connotation to it.

        When they play those little "future husband" games, it's less about the sexual aspect and more about ideals of true love such as those found in all those fairy tales where the fair maiden finds and marries her prince charming. (Those stories certainly didn't talk about them becoming lovers.)

        While the application may be just a silly Valentine's Day game, I'm sure it's used by more than just little girls.

        It's the sexual aspect of the word "lover" that disturbed me most of all.
        Point to Ponder:

        Is it considered irony when someone on an internet forum makes a post that can be considered to look like it was written by a 3rd grade dropout, and they are poking fun of the fact that another person couldn't spell?

        Comment

        • #5
          I find it far more disturbing when eleven or twelve year old girls select usernames such as "SexyLegs", "Sexygirl69", "Whoremoans", "BootyLikeBeyonce" or "C0ndoms". Yep, these are actual usernames selected by little girls on this site I admin and nope, they're not allowed there. We tend to deactivate such names cuz of their sexual imagery and tho it would be bad enough were these names registered by fifteen and sixteen year olds, it's even worse when you get into the account and find that the account holder is just twelve years old. O_o
          "Oh wow, I can't believe how stupid I used to be and you still are."

          Comment

          • #6
            I just don't find it any different than if it said you were finding out who your crush was. Finding out your "lover" just doesn't seem like a big deal to me, especially since no one takes it seriously.
            Violence has resolved more conflicts than anything else. The contrary opinion that violence doesn't solve anything is merely wishful thinking at its worst. - Starship Troopers

            Comment

            • #7
              It might be one of those things where a kid uses a "grown-up" word to feel more grown up, without even understanding the full connotations of the word.

              Comment

              • #8
                Still a huge difference between a "crush"and a "lover".

                In fact, if it did say "Find your crush" I don't think it would have bothered me as much, except for the fact that 11 years old seems rather young to me for that type of stuff.

                Probably, it bothers me more because I personally know this little girl and her level of maturity.

                Maybe I'm the only one who sees the sexual connotation in the use of the word "lover".

                Originally posted by Fryk View Post
                It might be one of those things where a kid uses a "grown-up" word to feel more grown up, without even understanding the full connotations of the word.
                That disturbs me too, though.
                Kids just seem to grow up way too fast these days. They are bombarded with sexuality at such a young age now.
                I just don't see what's so wrong with monitoring what your child is looking at and being exposed to on the internet.
                Last edited by Ree; 02-21-2010, 05:40 PM.
                Point to Ponder:

                Is it considered irony when someone on an internet forum makes a post that can be considered to look like it was written by a 3rd grade dropout, and they are poking fun of the fact that another person couldn't spell?

                Comment

                • #9
                  Originally posted by Fryk View Post
                  It might be one of those things where a kid uses a "grown-up" word to feel more grown up, without even understanding the full connotations of the word.
                  I agree, as kids my friends and I used to use the same words and giggle about it. It didn't mean we were any less innocent, or that any innocence was being lost. JMO

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    I might be a crazy deviant or something but to me the word lover implies somebody you are in love with, not something sexual.


                    Even if the word lover means somebody you are having sex with and nothing else then using a facebook app to find your lover is still probably the least sexual thing you can do on the internet.

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Originally posted by elsporko View Post
                      I might be a crazy deviant or something but to me the word lover implies somebody you are in love with, not something sexual.
                      That's fine.
                      You're entitled to that opinion and definition of the word if that's been your experience.

                      I, on the other hand, happen to have seen the word used more with a sexual connotation than with that definition, and it bothered me when I saw it on this little girl's Facebook page when, only in the past year, she stopped believing in Santa and still plays with dolls.

                      I'm not asking you to agree at all.
                      I would just much prefer it if parents would monitor what their children are being exposed to on the internet.

                      The title of this forum is "Things I Hate" and I posted about something I actually hate.
                      Point to Ponder:

                      Is it considered irony when someone on an internet forum makes a post that can be considered to look like it was written by a 3rd grade dropout, and they are poking fun of the fact that another person couldn't spell?

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        "Lover" has a pretty strong sexual connotation for me.

                        There is no way I'd ever allow my 11 year-old to us an application that helped her choose a "lover".

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          Assuming she doesn't personally know this person, it could be anyone, right? I'm normally on the other side of the fence, thinking that the news makes people unnecessarly paranoid about preditors, but that doesn't mean it's not a concern.

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            Add me on the list of thinking "lover" means a sexual relationship.

                            You are supposed to 13 to have a FB page anyway, so the fact she is under that age is my biggest issue with the entire thing.
                            I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ - Gandhi

                            Comment

                            • #15
                              Originally posted by kiwi View Post
                              You are supposed to 13 to have a FB page anyway, so the fact she is under that age is my biggest issue with the entire thing.
                              Excellent point. I had forgotten about the age requirement.
                              It probably never occurred to her mother, either.

                              That's yet another reason for a parent to monitor their child's internet use.
                              Point to Ponder:

                              Is it considered irony when someone on an internet forum makes a post that can be considered to look like it was written by a 3rd grade dropout, and they are poking fun of the fact that another person couldn't spell?

                              Comment

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