I have to / I can't

[DrFaroohk]

Here's an old one that for some reason popped into my head:

People who act like they have no choice in a matter, and then do/don't do something to really screw you over.

Example: A boss telling you "If you can't work a double shift on Tuesday then I have to fire you."

No, no you don't. You might really want to, and it might even be the best possible solution, but you don't HAVE to.

Same as "I'm sorry, I just can't give you tuesday off."

Yes you can. You might not want to and its a bad idea, but you CAN.

I had a teacher in highschool who would average a zero into your overall grade if you missed class with no excuse note. He always said he HAD to do that. No he didn't. There was no policy stating it, it was just a rule he made up that he decided he wanted to stick to, but because he was weak and pathetic he made the excuse that he HAD to do it.

You don't have to do anything. You always have a choice, Peter.

Oh wait, nevermind.

[elsporko]

If you make something a policy and don't play favorites then yes you have to do something even if its mean. If you don't then your policy isn't worth anything and you have no honor.

[Ghel]

One of my favorite quotes from Babylon 5 is "There is always choice. We say there is no choice only to comfort ourselves with the decision we have already made."

It seems like, in your examples, that the people in authority are using their statements about having no choice as an excuse. Now, whether it's an excuse to enforce fairness (which may have been the case with the teacher), or an excuse to do whatever they want (which may be the case with the boss), it's difficult to determine.

Policies should be enforced equally, but at the same time, exceptions should be made for extraordinary circumstances. Unfortunately, the real world doesn't always work the way it should.

[AdminAssistant]

I do tend to say this as a teacher. The course I TA for has a policy where we do not excuse absences for any reason. Everyone has two freebies, that's it. I did not enact this policy, the professor in charge of the course did. (I, however, happen to agree with it.) And yes, if someone comes down with severe illness and has to miss more than 2 discussion sections (which would be 2 weeks of class) we are willing to work around some things, but that happens very, very rarely. So, when some kid asks if he can be excused because he has to go to his second cousin's track meet or they really wanted to go to class, but they had to stop and save that kitten from a burning building, I say, "Sorry, but this is our policy and I have to enforce it." To me, that's better than saying, "Too bad, so sad, shoulda come to class".

ETA: If you start making exceptions for X, Y, and Z, then it snowballs and becomes a huge freakin' mess for the teacher to deal with. As far as I'm concerned, if you know you can't go to class on a certain day for an event, then plan accordingly. The only universal exception made has to do with religious observance, but even then, you know ahead of time that you can't go to class on Good Friday or Rosh Hashanah or whatever.

[DrFaroohk]

Oh I agree with the merits of said decisions, most of the time. I just hate the "i have to". It's such an excuse. At least be honest about it: "I'm choosing to punish you." Because you are. you don't HAVE to do anything.

It's even worse when its like "I have to fire you because you were late."

"You HAVE to?"

"Yeah, well everyone has to follow the same rules, so as much as I don't want to, I have to. I just CAN'T make exceptions."

"You didn't fire Jacob for being late."

"Well, I made an exception."

[Hobbs]

Sometimes the phrase is accurate:

"I'm sorry Amn [blank], I have to give you an *LOR."

*Letter of Reprimand

[Wingates_Hellsing]

There are the occasional instances in which a choice is available, but hardly sensible.

Such as:
A: Gruesome death for two people
B: Mild discomfort for four people

A: Paying 100$ fine
B: Getting chased, beaten, and held by the police, jailed and 500$ fine

the end of Half-Life 1

P.S. I don't care what anyone says, the G man is one of the better villains of all time.