"These Days" Statements

[the_std]

I cannot stand these. Guess what? Certain kids have always been disrespectful and rude, certain things will always be pricier than others, certain parts of society will always be seen as worse than others... This has been happening ever since society formed, I guaran-fucking-tee you.

The one that really gets my goat is the "kids these days" one. Kids these days are not more disrespectful, more self-absorbed, or any worse than kids have ever been. There are just new ways for kids to express these habits and tendencies that have been happening for thousands of years, and now you're noticing them. Society is not declining or dying, it is evolving and changing except for its fundamental core. Kids are, on the whole, ignorant of their actions and their effects on others. It's how their brains work at their age. Just because you're now around to notice these things doesn't mean they're new.

Also, society is not crumbling, nor is the English language dying. The standard of living is higher than ever in almost all respects. People are happier, more comfortable, are living longer and are making more money than they ever have before. Just because things are different does not make them worse! And the English language has been changing ever since it was created. People scolded Shakespeare for introducing new slang and tainting the language, and now we use some of the words he created nearly every day! Text speak will not kill the language. Again, I will repeat... Just because things are different does not make them worse!

Whenever someone makes a generalized "these days" statement, I just want to scream about how much of an idiot they sound like!

Rant over.

[muses_nightmare]

I'm completely guilty of making the "kids these days..." statement. I'm 23.

Thing is, the way that a lot of teenagers act now, is way different than how I or my friends acted, and sometimes it is worse. Sure there have always been kids who have acted out and gone partying and such, but it seems to me that they are doing it more and earlier now. This I don't think is a good thing.

I don't like text speak, at all. But I don't think it's the decline of the English language. Though it does seem that people are reading less, though that could just be my own observation.

[Ree]

Every generation weeps for future generations, and blames the previous generations for their problems.

It's been going on for centuries.
I suspect it's human nature.

Look at that quote which has been attributed to Socrates in about 469 BC:

"Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannize their teachers."

While things are not as dire as some would make out, I can see a change between the children of my generation and those of today, and I'm sure it was the same for my parents, and their parents before them.

Society is evolving. You said it yourself.

Sadly, it is evolving to a state where people as a rule, tend to be more self absorbed and much less kinder.

In my opinion, people are not happier.

Stress levels are higher than they have ever been.
Everyone is living at a much faster pace.

More people are in therapy than ever before.

Alcohol and drug abuse are prevalent. The suicide rate has climbed.

More young people than ever before are being medicated for behavioural problems.

Divorce rates are high.

Teen pregnancy rates are high.

(Of course, all of these rising statistics could also be attributed to better methods of gathering and analyzing of data and statistics.)

I find that there is more of a pessimism to society.

Many people do not believe in anything spiritual, so there is nothing to give them hope.
(I am not criticizing anyone for their beliefs or lack of. I am also not specifically referring to a Christian God and insisting that the world is a bad place if not everyone conforms to that belief. It's just my personal feeling that having a belief in a higher power of some form tends to give a person a little more of a positive view. You may feel differently, and that's fine. That is just what I happen to think.)

The dynamics of the family have changed over the years, and there are consequences arising from that.

Many children are being raised in single parent households or they spend their time being shuttled from one parent to another, making it difficult for them to find stability.
(Again, I am not criticizing anyone raising a child on their own, nor am I saying that being a single parent means you are a lousy parent. It does make the job a lot more challenging and stressful, though, when one is doing it alone.)

Even in a 2-parent home, though, the pressures of society have taken a toll.
Many parents are too busy to actually take the time to discipline and parent, and a lot of children are left to their own devices for long periods.
The parents opt for electronic babysitters to fill the time.
The children come home to an empty house after school, and Mom and Dad only get to spend a short amount of time with them in the evening before it's off to bed to repeat the process the next day.
Even weekends, which used to be a time for family to energize and connect with each other, are often spent in a flurry of activity and rush by without any real family connection being made.

I realize this is a lot of generalizing, and the point of your post was that this generalizing bothers you.

Sorry about that, but I'm calling it as I see it.

I think there will always be "These days" type statements made, because society does change rapidly, and there is always going to be a nostalgia for what seemed to be the less complicated days of our youth.

[Lace Neil Singer]

Thing is, the way that a lot of teenagers act now, is way different than how I or my friends acted, and sometimes it is worse. Sure there have always been kids who have acted out and gone partying and such, but it seems to me that they are doing it more and earlier now. This I don't think is a good thing.

Plus, a lot of children are being allowed to do what they like; society is more "child centred" nowadays and places, like bars, cinemas and clubs where no-one would dream of bringing children back when I was a kid are now considered fair game for the buggy gang. Not to mention the fact that kids widdle feelings are to be considered, and they can't possibly have their feelings hurt by coming last, or by losing in any way. I'm not so convinced that this is a good thing at all, as life is just not like that.

[crazylegs]

I too am fed up to the back teeth with "these days" statements.

The country I live in is one of the safest places in the world to live, and the county I live in is one of the safest within the country; however if you listened to people on pubs and read the local papers you would think that every third person is about to get killed in their beds.

I'm not saying that bad experiences don't happen but with multiple reporting sources and faster communication than ever before we are being bombarded with negative images and information faster than we can process it - our viewpoint is becoming skewed.

[elsporko]

Most people are nostalgic for a time that never actually existed.

Or to paraphrase Soul Aylum, they're homesick for the home they never had.

[the_std]

Ree, while I agree that a lot of the things you said are definitely different, I would disagree that they are worse than what we had before. There is so much more individual freedom now... Yes, at consequence. There is always going to be trade-off. Some things are better, some things are worse. There are so many different ways to quantify these shifts that I think it's impossible to say if it's better or worse than ten years ago, fifty years ago, a hundred years ago.

That's my point. Just because things are different does not mean they are worse. You have to take into account the whole picture.

[telecom_goddess]

Plus, a lot of children are being allowed to do what they like; society is more "child centred" nowadays and places, like bars, cinemas and clubs where no-one would dream of bringing children back when I was a kid are now considered fair game for the buggy gang. Not to mention the fact that kids widdle feelings are to be considered, and they can't possibly have their feelings hurt by coming last, or by losing in any way. I'm not so convinced that this is a good thing at all, as life is just not like that.

This is so true.....back when I was a kid spanking was accepted and expected punishment, as well as telling a kid off in no uncertain terms. Now people are so afraid of child abuse you can't even look at your kid sideways anymore, let alone actually practice discipline. The kids control everything now and it's not right.

And I agree about the no losing or coming last part....if no kid ever loses at a game or comes last in something in school, how are they ever going to learn that they have to compete for jobs? That they won't just get handed to them cause they are "special"

[elsporko]

You can practice discipline, you just can't hit your kid. If you don't have the brain power to be able to discipline a kid using methods other then smacking them then you shouldn't have kids. Society has evolved past the stage where the only way to get somebody to do something is to threaten to hurt them. Now we can practice reason

[telecom_goddess]

You can practice discipline, you just can't hit your kid. If you don't have the brain power to be able to discipline a kid using methods other then smacking them then you shouldn't have kids. Society has evolved past the stage where the only way to get somebody to do something is to threaten to hurt them. Now we can practice reason

It's gone too far the other direction, it's not practicing reason, the kids just don't listen to their parent anymore and take over.

I don't advocate hitting kids...but a swat on the butt never hurt anyone and got their attention.

[the_std]

Please don't start this thread down the spanking route... It's about the generalities of whether things are better now than they were "back then".

[Boozy]

Here are just a few threads about spanking:

http://www.fratching.com/showthread.php?t=1677
http://www.fratching.com/showthread.php?t=1673
http://www.fratching.com/showthread.php?t=1517
http://www.fratching.com/showthread.php?t=32

Seriously, we don't need another. Let's get this back on topic.

[muses_nightmare]

See, I'm not that far off from when I was a "kid" so to speak, and the way some of them act now I would have never gotten away with it. It's not just my parents either, my dad is not nearly as hard on my step-sister as he was on me. She gets away with going to parties and drinking and having her boyfriend stay over (in the same bed), she's 16, when I was that age it would have been world war 3 had I done any of those things. It's only been 7 years since I was that age, not that long in the grand scheme of things.

More freedoms sure, but are the consequences really worth it?

[Boozy]

Kids these days!

They're less racist than their parents' generation, less homophobic, more accepting of different cultures and religions. They volunteer more and work more. They are more likely than their parents to graduate high school and go on to post-secondary education.

They may face different challenges than in previous generations, but I think "kids these days" will turn out all right.

[McDreidel09]

From my observation, people around my age group are more likely to care what their parents think. Some still lie about going to a party, even if they are 21 because they don't want to disappoint their parents.

Although I will have to disagree about how the English language is not declining. It is. Just sit in on a college Freshman Composition class and you will see. There were some people in my class last semester that still didn't know the difference between 'there', 'their',and 'they're'. This semester, when I was peer reviewing papers, people didn't know how to cite and then started telling me that my paper wasn't cited correctly. Fortunately, the professor backed me up on this one.

Just listen to conversation in the street.

I am all for a changing vocabulary, but when people whose first language is not English think that your English speaking skills are horrendous, then you definitely need lessons.