And you wonder why I never talk to you!?

[DrFaroohk]

I don't talk to my parents much. I don't really like them. I'm sure they feel the same way about me. I love them just as I should love my family, but I just don't like them.

Why? Because they're extremely judgemental and critical assholes like all the time. I can't tell them ANYTHING without immediately being jumped on over it.

I tell my dad my boss is an asshole. He doesn't say "Well that sucks" or "How is he an asshole", its "YOU BETTER WATCH YOUR MOUTH OR YOU'LL LOSE YOUR JOB! YOU SHOULD FEEL LUCKY TO HAVE THIS JOB! I'D BE CAREFUL IF I WERE YOU BECAUSE I KNOW HOW LAZY YOU ARE AND THEY WON'T TOLERATE IT THERE!"

And contrary to popular belief I'm not lazy. I have difficulty holding down jobs because I have a low tolerance for people's bullshit and the whole "Damned if you do, damned if you don't" attitude. It's nothing to do with any aversion to work.

And basically any problem in my life, any situation I throw at them, its ALWAYS my fault. Sometimes I even lie and put myself in the opposite shoes, and then I'll say "Oh wait, it's the other way around" and they still jump on me even after I reveal the twist.

I mean, after all, in the real world, bosses are NEVER jerks just for the hell of it. Police NEVER abuse their authority. Teachers and bosses are always FAIR, all the time. No one ever decides "I'm gonna fuck with that guy just because I don't like the look on his face." Yeah, no one ever does that in the real world, because the real world is a fair, tolerant, understanding, perfect little place.

And then they wonder why I never call or come visit them. Gee whiz, ya think it might have something to do with you being a buttwipe every time I see you?

My wife's grandmother is the same way. She's a prissy old bitch hag who loves to criticize us on being such awful parents because we smoke cigarettes and our house isn't as clean as hers. Then she wonders why we never call or visit. How stupid can you be?

[Fryk]

I fucking LOVE that attitude! Relatives who think they have a free pass to be as much of an asshole as they want to be to you, and you're supposed to sit there and take it because they're [I]family[I]. That shit does not fly with me, not one bit.

As a matter of fact, if it was me, and they pulled the "Why don't you visit us more and take our abuse?" card, I'd tell them exactly why.

"Because you're a couple of judgemental jerks who criticize everything I do."

Awwwww, they're all mad and indignant now? They're not calling me anymore? Damn, I guess I'll just sit over here in the corner and laugh.

I mean BROOD. Yes, brooding is what I will do.

[elsporko]

You're a couple of jerks and I'm going to prove it by being a jerk to you. That definitely means I am in the right in this situation and the problems are in no way both of our fault.

[KellyHabersham]

I kind of have problems like that with my grandmother on my mom's side of the family. I got along fine with her when I was younger, but once I hit my teens, that's when she seemed to start up with the untactful personal comments, talking to me like I was still a little kid, and repeating the same embarassing/inaccurate stories about me at every family gathering.

Anyhow, apparently a REALLY long time ago, I'd told her I hated her, and ever since then, my grandmother has been convinced of this, and insists that I'm never nice to her.

[DrFaroohk]

You're a couple of jerks and I'm going to prove it by being a jerk to you. That definitely means I am in the right in this situation and the problems are in no way both of our fault.

Ignoring someone who's rude to me isn't being a jerk, no matter who they are.

[elsporko]

If somebody asks why you don't visit and you call them a name then its being a jerk.

[DrFaroohk]

Telling it like it is =/= calling someone a name.

Example:

"Why don't you visit anymore?"

"Because I don't like you."

There's nothing wrong with that. It's just being direct.

Or:

"Why don't you visit anymore?"

"Because you're a stupid fucktard."

That's namecalling.

[NateSean]

I had a huge falling out with my parents recently.

It basically stemmed from the fact that my mother is mentally unstable. You're always walking on egg shells when you're around her and I guarantee you that if she has met you, she has something negative to say about you.

Could be Mother Teresa.

So one afternoon I finally snapped and told her everything I had been holding in for many years, not that it matters. Because in her mind no matter what you call her out on she has done no wrong. The woman could commit murder and she'd still figure it out in her head that somehow she was right.

I just got through with her mind games and unfortunately when I snapped it was while my little sister was there. To this day the only person I feel I owe an apology to is her.

[Boozy]

Telling it like it is =/= calling someone a name.

Example:

"Why don't you visit anymore?"

"Because I don't like you."

There's nothing wrong with that. It's just being direct.

Agreed.

Sure, it may hurt them to hear it, but you're allowed to speak your mind.

The best piece of advice my dad ever gave me: "If a boy asks you out and you aren't interested, just say 'Thank you, but I'm not interested.' If they press for a reason, go ahead and tell them you don't like them. Don't be mean, but tell the truth. Trust me: Telling the truth will hurt them less in the long run."

[gremcint]

I'm of the opinion that if you can predict the conversation word for word then the conversation is a waste of time.