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No good jokes anymore :(

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  • No good jokes anymore :(

    I love the old jokes I heard growing up like 'Peter I can see your house from here!" or "Death by bunga-bunga."

    Whenever I hear a joke now it's lame.

    "Hey, what did the priest say to the little boy? Come here so I can screw you! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! What did the inmate say to his roommate? Come here and blow me! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! What did the vet do to all his animals? He <snicker> HE HAD SEX WITH THEM! AAAAAAAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

  • #2
    Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

    Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.
    --- I want the republicans out of my bedroom, the democrats out of my wallet, and both out of my first and second amendment rights. Whether you are part of the anal-retentive overly politically-correct left, or the bible-thumping bellowing right, get out of the thought control business --- Alan Nathan

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    • #3
      Originally posted by MadMike View Post
      Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.
      My sister started telling me that joke when we were really young.
      Violence has resolved more conflicts than anything else. The contrary opinion that violence doesn't solve anything is merely wishful thinking at its worst. - Starship Troopers

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      • #4
        I don't recognize your two examples of good jokes; mind telling them? As for the other, well, what you need is to find people with a sense of humor. Or go read CS; at least, I *think* the joke forum is still up.

        You know about the idiot that tried learning to fly a helicopter, right? All went well until he got cold and decided to turn off the fan.
        "My in-laws are country people and at night you can hear their distinctive howl."

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        • #5
          Some people are humorless, they're just louder then ever before.

          What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in the ocean?

          Bob.
          All units: IRENE
          HK MP5-N: Solving 800 problems a minute since 1986

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          • #6
            I am glad that every member on the team has a sense of humor. Every team meeting, we all make each other laugh

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            • #7
              I'll defend your examples of bad jokes because with the right execution and context anything can be funny. Those ones are stupid but something can be so stupid that it can become funny.


              For an example of bad jokes being funny check out Norm McDonald's bit at Bob Saget's roast. He was intentionally making old lame jokes to make fun of the entire roast concept and it was amazing.

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              • #8
                I agree, done right, even the lame ones can be funny. It's like those dead baby jokes.

                But done wrongly, which is the way most people do them, its not funny. It's just an excuse to say fuck or pussy. It's a lot of bullshit posturing. "LOok at me, I'm swearing so I must be funny!!!!! LOOK AT ME!"

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                • #9
                  I know a lot of jokes; however, most can only be told in certain company. People get really offended by stuff nowadays. However, I can and will tell this one:

                  Darth Vader said to Luke Skywalker, "I know what you're getting for Christmas this year."

                  Luke replied, "How can you possibly know that?"

                  To which Darth said, "I have felt your presents."
                  "Oh wow, I can't believe how stupid I used to be and you still are."

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                  • #10
                    I am forever going to tell that joke and treat it as if it were my own.

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                    • #11
                      Person A: Did you wake up crabby this morning?
                      Person B: Nah, I let him sleep.

                      Where's the smiley with the drum when you need it?

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