Sometimes, I just want to rant!

[Rageaholic]

Some of blas threads inspired this rant of mine. It actually has to do with ranting, but then having some smuck try to "help" you.

I don't mind being given advice or help, mainly when I ask for it. But you know those times when you just want to vent about something, like popups, only to get bugged about buying a popup blocker? Then you have to explain that you were just ranting and don't want to deal with it, only to get bugged more, and sometimes to the point of the friend/family member/forum member taking offense to not wanting their advice.

When I want help on something, I will fucking ask, okay? Maybe allowing me to vent is helping me let off some steam so I don't start breaking TVs in Walmart. And like anything, when you say no, that should be it. Offering advice is fine, but when it's made clear that your advice is unwanted, it's time to back off, and don't get pissy because I don't want your goddamn advice. You're not my therapist, so STFU!

Another thing, being told that you need to grow up, get over it, or be thankful for what you have. If you're going to say this to me, fuck you! Maybe it's minor to you, or minor in comparison to other things, but it still upsets me! College, for instance, is really stressing me out right now, and while I haven't heard it yet, I just know that eventually some asshole is going to tell about how much worse they had it and try to make me feel like an ass. Here's a hint: telling people about how much worse their problems can be isn't going to make them feel better about their situation, if anything, it will have the opposite effect.

Even worse is being blamed for what you're ranting about. Like being told by relatives that the reason I can't find a job is because I'm not trying hard enough. Never mind the fact that hardly any places are hiring, that there are people with way more experience than me, and that there are so many hoops to jump through, it's my fault! Even when it is my fault, like when I lose something and am frusturated about not being able to find it, I don't want to hear it. I know it's my fault, but I'm human okay? I have the right to be upset as long as I'm not trying to blame other people (or animals) who are not at fault.

And last but not least, "that's just part of life!". What a profound and helpful statement! NOT! If it wasn't part of life, it wouldn't be happening to me now would it! It's just another cop out.

As my title said, sometimes I just want to rant!

[Boozy]

Oh, I am SO guilty of giving advice when it's not asked for. I'm aware that I do it, so I'm trying harder to resist.

The crazy thing is, I completely agree with you. I get annoyed when people interrupt a good rant of mine trying to fix the problem. But I still do it to others.

[DrFaroohk]

And like anything, when you say no, that should be it. Offering advice is fine, but when it's made clear that your advice is unwanted, it's time to back off, and don't get pissy because I don't want your goddamn advice.

Aye, I get that one a lot. It's like when someone is bugging me like "What's wrong? What's wrong? What's wrong?" And I tell them "I don't know." and they keep at it, and just want to find the closest knife and rip their intestines out and then try to explain that "I don't know" could mean any of a dozen things, but ultimately it means STFU because you're not going to get the answer you want, so leave it alone.

[Rageaholic]

Boozy: I understand. I am guilty of doing things to others that I hate when done to me and try to stop. I typically don't mind, or try not to get too upset with people who are only being helpful. I mean yeah, if I just want to let off steam, I'm going to be a little annoyed, but generally, I realize they are just offering friendly advice. It's people who do what DrFaroohk mentioned that piss me off. They turn friendly advice into nagging when they get aggressive or persistent, not realizing that you just need to let off steam.

[crashhelmet]

I'm guilty of giving advice as well. For me it stems from my own reasons for ranting though. When I post a rant, I either it conclude it with a request for advice, my own ideas of what I need to do, or something like "I know I can't fix it, but I'm sick of it." I have the tendency to give/offer/impose my advice to people when I don't see something like that. It's as if my mind says "They're ranting because they want advice." Like others, it's something i'm trying to stop.

CH

[NateSean]

I only give advice when the person has been moaning in my ear over and over and over again. As was the case with my ex, who would have a complaint about everything and everyone. Finally I just snapped and told him what he should do and that if he wasn't going to do it he needed to quit complaining to me.

Other times, if it's someone I don't know, I'll just walk out of the room. Probably the closest I get to offering advice is to compare notes. If someone is going through something I'll tell them a similar story in an effort to show them I'm on the same page. Which could be just as annoying, I don't always know.

[kiwi]

My pet peeve is when someone hijacks my rant to push their own agenda for a similar but different rant.

ARGH if I want to rant about XYZ then don't start bitching about DEF!!!!!

[Ree]

My pet peeve is when someone hijacks my rant to push their own agenda for a similar but different rant.

So true.

I recently just walked away from one of my threads because I had started it to vent about one thing, and it ended up on a completely different tangent that changed the whole tone of my thread.

I agree that people don't always want to be told how to fix their problems.

I do know I'm guilty of the advice pushing too, but that's usually after a person has made the same complaint about a situation several times.
Advice is easy to give from the comfort of your own chair, but it's not always so easy to act on it, and sometimes a person just wants to rant.

[Lace Neil Singer]

I also tend to notice that happening in CS threads; for example, in one of my threads I posted that the store manager had told a petrol thief that they had one more chance to pay before the police were called in. Someone immediately posted "Well, I say call the police right away!" and I had to point out that it was my store manager's decision, not mine and I didn't have any say in it. I find myself posting a zillion disclaimers sometimes on threads where I'm venting about rude customers, just to try and stop people either offering advice, or saying, "Well, maybe they weren't being rude and you were being sensitive" or "That policy sucks so I can see why they were angry". -.-

[Rageaholic]

My pet peeve is when someone hijacks my rant to push their own agenda for a similar but different rant.

ARGH if I want to rant about XYZ then don't start bitching about DEF!!!!!

Eh, that's bound to happen with discussion forums. I don't mind when people discuss stuff related to the topic. Hell, I like those kind of "chain reaction" discussions where things go from one topic to another, but the obvious hijackers are borderline trolling.

Advice is easy to give from the comfort of your own chair, but it's not always so easy to act on it. and sometimes a person just wants to rant.

QTF

You can never know the full extent of a persons situation from some lines of text. As I said, it's one thing to offer advice, but I think it's arrogant to assume to know everything about the situation from what is posted alone

I also tend to notice that happening in CS threads; for example, in one of my threads I posted that the store manager had told a petrol thief that they had one more chance to pay before the police were called in. Someone immediately posted "Well, I say call the police right away!" and I had to point out that it was my store manager's decision, not mine and I didn't have any say in it. I find myself posting a zillion disclaimers sometimes on threads where I'm venting about rude customers, just to try and stop people either offering advice, or saying, "Well, maybe they weren't being rude and you were being sensitive" or "That policy sucks so I can see why they were angry". -.-

I see that on CS as well as the above. As Ree said, advice offered is usually easier said then done. I myself was guilty of defending SC behavior on an SC rant. The thread in particular was on suggestive selling and how some of the customers got pissy with him for doing it, even though he had no choice. I hate suggestive selling so I let it be known in that thread. Looking back, he was just letting off steam about the crap he has to put up with and wasn't really agreeing or disagreeing with suggestive selling. That's why I usually just lurk on CS, unless I have a sighting or "check it out".