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  • I hate your family.

    Wow.. this is getting long, pardon, I needed to vent badly.

    I grew up in a huge italian family. Every holiday had at least 30 people crammed into my grandma's house for a very long time. Now grandma lives with my parents, and I with them. Were a very connected family, we all tend to know whats basically going on with one another.

    About two years back, I meet my boyfriend through a mutual friend. Hes the sweetest thing ever, and we've been going out for about, well, two years now. We live about four hours apart from one another but frequent visits and meeting-in-the-middles, along with an MMO we're addicted to makes everything just peachy. I live in a more... populated/city area, while hes out in farmville with cows for neighbors. We both live with our parents (I'm 21 now and hes 23, oh so poor are we. ._.)

    At first, he would only come down to see me. I was out of work (and depressed) so I loved every minute of it. With some temporary work coming my way, and an upcoming RP I was invited to by above mutual friend, boyfriend said I should come stay at his place. I told him I was kind of nervous meeting his parents (we'd been together about 6-7 months now). He said I probably won't even see them...and he was right. I heard footsteps around the house but nobody ever came to say hello. I shrugged it off, oh well. When I'm about to fall asleep, he gets up and sleeps on the couch. In the morning he tells me his parents told him to. Ok, whatever, I was just sad at the lack of snuggly for sleeping.

    Down the line, around the year mark, I had spring break and asked if he'd like to do anything. He offered a week at his place, though, his parents would be home. I reeled in my wardrobe for the week trip to make a good impression and was finally introduced to his parents. I smiled and went through the nice to meet you's and how are you's to get silence in return. Later that week, he gets an emergency call from work and has to leave me at his place for a few hours. I'm fine with it and crack down for some studying when his father comes into his room, no knocking or anything. He browses though my boyfriends closet for a while before noticing I was there. He asks two questions about what I'm doing, and vanishes. Bf comes home and offers to make us some food to eat for dinner. While in the kitchen, his mother asks him if hes making food for me, then wonders away.

    The rest of the week, I get.. "glares" from the two of them, and one sibling dubs me "that creepy chick". I'd been nothing but sweet and nice to everyone, trying to make conversations or just be pleasant. I went home kind of confused. My boyfriend tells me "they are just like that." ._. kaayyy.

    Since then, I've gotten nothing but rude remarks and bad attitudes from the whole family. Whenever I am over, nobody says hello or even offers me lunch/dinner if I'm alone because my boyfriend gets an emergency call or has to work. I feel really bad just browsing through their kitchen and even when I go to find someone to see if I can grab something to eat they are strangely absent. Once, his father was nagging my boyfriend about not going to church with me in the room. He stares at me and asks "Does she go to church?" to which I answer myself. (No)

    My boyfriend isn't without his flaws but his parent's don't help his situation. His father will constantly call him stupid or a failure. He holds a part-time job as he looks for a better one and his parents demand his entire paycheck for rent. If he goes on a trip with me, his parents want to know "why he had to go hang out with her". If I'm around, it doesn't stop his fathers abusive comments, and he makes it like I'm the badguy. "Your so stupid, why can't you be like her!"

    Its gotten to the point where, if I visit anymore, I won't leave his room unless he is home or the family is out to get a drink or visit the bathroom. I've asked my boyfriend hundreds of times if I did something wrong and finally I got to the point where I told him. Someone had asked us, if we were to get married what kind of wedding we'd have. After we answered, I looked to him and told him outright.. "If we get married, I'm not inviting your family."

    In short, I hate your family and I hate the way they treat me... and I'm not ashamed to say it!

  • #2
    While I don't blame you one bit for not wanting to invite his family to your as of now hypothetical wedding, at the same time you don't want to cause a rift between them. You also want to show that you're the bigger person. In the meantime, might I suggest staying at a hotel when you visit or sticking to meeting in the middle for now? At the very least you might actually get a decent meal that way.

    Comment


    • #3
      o_O Get some answers. Seriously. They have no reason to treat you like that. Boyfriend needs to stand up. (Yeah, Plaidman suggesting that!). He needs to demand, not ask, demand why the lack of respect to you.


      Seriously. Ya gotta find out. Or I'll go insane.

      Won't someone PLEaase think of PLAIDMAN sanity!?
      Toilet Paper has been "bath tissue" for the longest time, and it really chaps my ass - Blas
      I AM THE MAN of the house! I wear the pants!!! But uh...my wife buys the pants so....yeah.

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      • #4
        Originally posted by Plaidman View Post
        oBoyfriend needs to stand up. (Yeah, Plaidman suggesting that!). He needs to demand, not ask, demand why the lack of respect to you.
        Bf's family doesn't seem to have much respect for him either. Maybe mutual disrespect is their idea of being welcomed into the family?
        Customer: I need an Apache.
        Gravekeeper: The Tribe or the Gunship?

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Plaidman View Post
          Won't someone PLEaase think of PLAIDMAN sanity!?
          Wait a minute. Back up here.

          At what point have you ever BEEN sane?

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by lordlundar View Post
            Wait a minute. Back up here.

            At what point have you ever BEEN sane?
            Shhh. The OP doesn't need to know that I've been insane for a very long time, and keep losing my sanity over the stupidity and hatred of my life.
            Toilet Paper has been "bath tissue" for the longest time, and it really chaps my ass - Blas
            I AM THE MAN of the house! I wear the pants!!! But uh...my wife buys the pants so....yeah.

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Plaidman View Post
              Shhh. The OP doesn't need to know that I've been insane for a very long time, and keep losing my sanity over the stupidity and hatred of my life.
              Mr. Plaidman, we've discovered from this most recent lab work that you're dangerously close to reaching negative Sanity Index Score or SIS. When this happens, people tend to decide that it's best to take some of these motherfuckers with them into the cold embrace of oblivion, but with proper application of therapy you may have the option of making their lives and equally hellish existence to yours for a maximum duration... are you interested? [/sarcasm]
              All units: IRENE
              HK MP5-N: Solving 800 problems a minute since 1986

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Teysa View Post
                While I don't blame you one bit for not wanting to invite his family to your as of now hypothetical wedding, at the same time you don't want to cause a rift between them.
                Sounds like there already is one.
                We may have come out of the kitchen, but we still know where the sharp objects are kept.

                "Well-behaved women rarely make history." - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

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                • #9
                  Sarcasm NOTHING, Sit Integra! That sounds like a perfect day outing to me!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Wingates_Hellsing View Post
                    Mr. Plaidman, we've discovered from this most recent lab work that you're dangerously close to reaching negative Sanity Index Score or SIS. When this happens, people tend to decide that it's best to take some of these motherfuckers with them into the cold embrace of oblivion, but with proper application of therapy you may have the option of making their lives and equally hellish existence to yours for a maximum duration... are you interested? [/sarcasm]
                    Heh Heh. Why do you think I'm going into pharmacy... I'll learn how to make all kinds of medicene.

                    Evil medicene.... Joker Style!


                    HA HA HA HA HA HA AH AH !
                    Toilet Paper has been "bath tissue" for the longest time, and it really chaps my ass - Blas
                    I AM THE MAN of the house! I wear the pants!!! But uh...my wife buys the pants so....yeah.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      What did the BF say when you told him that if you married him, you weren't inviting his family?

                      As for whether or not to invite the out *ahem* I mean the future inlaws to the wedding? I'm on the fence with this one. On one hand if you refuse to invite them, you just give them more ammo. For example they could go around telling anyone who will listen, that you are trying to alienate thier son from his family. Not saying that you would, but people are very vindictive.

                      OTOH, if you do invite them they could possibly cause trouble, and end up ruining your wedding. I'm not saying they would, but I never put anything past anyone these days.
                      If I can't bitch, I'll explode- blas87

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                      • #12
                        And if they tell everyone that, then what? I don't see how that would effect much, as long as the BF is on board.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Fryk View Post
                          And if they tell everyone that, then what? I don't see how that would effect much, as long as the BF is on board.
                          I have to respectfully disagree with you. The person that would be effected by this would be the OP. Spreading lies hurts people's feelings and makes them cry. Words can hurt.

                          If the BF is defending his family by saying they are "just like that" then he is not on board IMHO.
                          If I can't bitch, I'll explode- blas87

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Spreading lies only hurts if the people you care about believe the lies.

                            Originally posted by RavenStarr View Post
                            If the BF is defending his family by saying they are "just like that" then he is not on board IMHO.
                            I agree with that part. And if he isn't on board, then it won't stop. And if it won't stop, then is the whole thing worth it.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Pagan View Post
                              Sounds like there already is one.
                              I'm not sure if its a rift or a freaking ocean anymore. I've tried everything to be as sweet as I can to them. Once, BF was in my area looking at a school's open house, with his father for some unknown reason. I offered them both dinner at my house if they wanted to stop. He dropped BF off and went home, leaving him at my place stranded. I've stopped trying to reach across the gap.

                              Originally posted by RavenStarr View Post
                              What did the BF say when you told him that if you married him, you weren't inviting his family?

                              As for whether or not to invite the out *ahem* I mean the future inlaws to the wedding? I'm on the fence with this one. On one hand if you refuse to invite them, you just give them more ammo. For example they could go around telling anyone who will listen, that you are trying to alienate thier son from his family. Not saying that you would, but people are very vindictive.

                              OTOH, if you do invite them they could possibly cause trouble, and end up ruining your wedding. I'm not saying they would, but I never put anything past anyone these days.
                              He said he didn't care either way. He 200% despises his father and 2/4 siblings.

                              More and more I'm beginning to think his parents hate me. He lives in the middle of nowhere, the train station is a good distance away and there is a fee to park there per night. He asks his mother if he can drive him down to the train and pick him up when he comes home so he can come down to see me and not have to pay the car fee since it was a tad out of budget. His mother responded with "i don't think you need to go".

                              ._. My family (who adores BF) and invited him to Easter because his family was going to Florida without him. Instead, he stayed home alone.

                              I could go on for hours about his retard father. BF had some learning disabilities in school, ok, lets help the kid out? No. His parents never got him help or even lifted a finger to help him out. Now his father goes around calling him stupid and a failure.

                              I hate those people so much...

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