Four things I need to vent about.... (long)

[IDrinkaRum]

I'm 5'3" and 292 pounds - I'm fat.

I don't call myself fat.

I say I'm voluptuous.

The definition of a voluptuous woman is this:

A voluptuous woman is a woman with curves in places where most women don't have places.



I've had men tell me I'm fat. (I'm married, my husband likes my body, why should I care what those men think?)

I've had men tell me I'm absolutely gorgeous.

And I've had men tell me I'm too skinny. (I think they're fat or chubby chasers).

[Plaidman]

I think your beauitful Rum! (Though I thought you looked better with the longer hair )

That, and the pimp hat. Gotta love the feathers.

[AdminAssistant]

I've had men tell me I'm fat. (I'm married, my husband likes my body, why should I care what those men think?)

I've had men tell me I'm absolutely gorgeous.

I'm 5'3" and 207 pounds. I'm pretty voluptuous myself, Rum. But my SO loves my body and thinks I'm beautiful. And it has taken literally months for him to convince me that, yeah, maybe I'm not so bad. Maybe I'm not just a fat, ugly pig that needs to go to the gym and exercise.

I would like to get healthy, understand this. But I don't see a need to kill myself to force my body into a socially acceptable shape.

[Plaidman]

I would like to get healthy, understand this. But I don't see a need to kill myself to force my body into a socially acceptable shape.

Good thinking. I don't have the hip power to chase after you and kick your butt, though likely you'd just laugh at my feeble attempt.

Now group hugs for all! YAY!

[flybye023]

I would like to get healthy, understand this. But I don't see a need to kill myself to force my body into a socially acceptable shape.

I'm 5'2, 200 pounds. I wouldn't mind starting an exercise program just to get healthy, not necessarily to lose weight ( though, of course, that would happen). I actually gained 40 pounds within the last couple of years. I wasn't real happy about that at first but then I learned something that I will be grateful for even if I lose that 40 pounds.

What I learned was that the problem areas I had when I was a size 10-12 are still here. Even if I lose weight and get back down to those sizes again, my problem areas will still be there. So, I have decided they're not problem areas--they're just me

As far as characteristics that I find attractive, I agree with the OP that we are just wired to like certain things. I find dark hair and eyes to be something that draws my attention every time over other things. I also prefer clean-shaven men. However, if I found a man that shared my values, was intelligent, kind, etc. I wouldn't turn him down/ignore him just because he was blond and blue-eyed with a goatee

[Plaidman]

However, if I found a man that shared my values, was intelligent, kind, etc. I wouldn't turn him down/ignore him just because he was blond and blue-eyed with a goatee

But you draw the line on full beards....

[Fryk]

Flybye is a beardist!!!!

I find that what attracts me is really REALLY hard to explain. First of all, like the Man in Plaid, I lust for intellect, as well as weird sense of humor. Second, the weird part, is proportionality. If you carry whatever you have well, that makes it for me. Women who are top heavy, or extreme hourglasses, overly large looking heads (a big thing for me, even I don't get it), if it stands out too much, it just sorta turns me off. The next things is eyes. And I can't even try to explain what attracts me to someone's eyes, I just know it when I see it.
My wife has everything I would want, physically and mentally. I could give a flaming bowel movement of lava what anyone else would think about her looks. She's just IT, like Coke used to be.

[Lace Neil Singer]

My body shape means that I could never be the stick thin ideal of fashion and film. I have a big bust and big hips. My boyf loves my curves and I've had loads of guys say that I'm beautiful. I've had a few call me a fat cow or fat bitch, but they're always immature men who seem to think that all women should look like Page 3 girls.

[blas87]

I was called "overweight" by a modeling agency, and I was 110 lbs. And 14 years old.

And people wonder why to this day I still have body image issues.

[HYHYBT]

I can't go bald because I have birthmarks that if exposed would make me look like someone beat me over the head.

I know what you meant, but as worded, this just begs for pointing out: birthmarks, sadly, will not stop you from going bald. They'll just make you funnier-looking when you get there.

[Plaidman]

I know what you meant, but as worded, this just begs for pointing out: birthmarks, sadly, will not stop you from going bald. They'll just make you funnier-looking when you get there.

? As worded I get the sense that if he were to go bald, it'll look like he been beaten.

Same way here. I have a huuuuuuuuuuge ass tumor on my front of my head, and two more growing in the back. I keep my hair long to hide them.

[lupo pazzesco]

It's a double standard no matter which way you look. People like what they like. What I find sad is the fact that some people will judge others as prejudice while they themselves have some inner criteria they either don't acknowledge or admit to, or think they're "normal."

In my case, I'm 6'0 tall. I personally would like someone as tall as, if not taller than me. I've also been told that I'm too fat to be picky, and too plain to worry about that. (again, 6'0 tall, and about 258 lbs.). I'm pear-shaped, so it's also been pointed out my proportions aren't great. I will admit I've been, for the last year, working on a fitness plan, and have lost 52 lbs, but it's because I want to be healthy, not "perfect".

Another deal breaker for me would be lack of intelligence. I see so many guys who act like they're 12, that it's a huge turn off. And again, I'm told (this is all from the same person, mind you...), that if I can't accept that all men are immature then I'm going to be a virgin for the rest of my life, and it's no wonder I've never had a boyfriend or been on a date.

Hmm, methinks I've done enough babbling. Not sure I really had a point in there. Sorry...

[MaggieTheCat]

And again, I'm told (this is all from the same person, mind you...), that if I can't accept that all men are immature then I'm going to be a virgin for the rest of my life, and it's no wonder I've never had a boyfriend or been on a date.

Bullshit. Guys may tend to be more immature than ladies of the same age, but that doesn't mean all of them are. My husband has always been very mature. I've known him since he was about 15, and he was mature back then. He wasn't some punky teenager who liked to act like an ass and got in trouble. He's always been quiet and a little on the shy side, but not to the point of being antisocial. Sure, we act silly sometimes when we're together, but it's all in good fun. I've often referred to him as "the sophisticated geek."

I think guys like him are hard to come by, but they do exist. Don't lower your expectations just because someone tries to lump the entire male gender into one category.

[Racket_Man]

Run and AdminAssistant

you ladies sound like the body type my Ex had when we first met. but then I actually paid attention to her personality, mind, sense of humor and her intelligence.

even though I was weaned on stick models/perfect body perceptions in the 60's and 70's, all of the women I have dated/had a relationship with tend to NOT be of that body type. they tended to be your everyday ordinary women. in other words women with non standard non stick model looks and body types that had curves and "flaws" (a general term mean not "perfect")

Yeah yeah I know that one looks for prefection but like beauty it is in the eye of the beholder and some beholders have very stupid requirements

hey if you want to be a "cubbie" or stick model or big boobie or great ass or great leg chaser go for it, but remember becareful of what you wish for you just might get it.