People who don't think...

[Ree]

I have a friend who is getting married.
One of my other friends is the maid of honour.

Everybody knows how most brides are about their wedding.
They want everything to be perfect and they like to keep a lot of the details private until the big day when everyone can see the whole effect of all the little details.

I was just on Facebook, and the maid of honour has posted a picture of herself in her dress, and right behind her, clearly visible, is the bride's dress.

Maybe I'm old fashioned and all that, but I was a bit ticked at my friend for posting that.
The wedding is only in a few more days.
Would it have killed her to wait a bit, or make sure the bride's dress wasn't right beside her in the picture?

Am I being petty?

[Lace Neil Singer]

Not in the slightest. She didn't even need a fancy editing programme to cut out the bride's dress; she could have cut her out in Paint or blocked her out. I would do that, personally.

[Ree]

The wedding is on a different continent completely, so I'm sure she's just really excited about all of it.
The way I see it, though, if she wanted her family to see her dress, she could have just emailed them the pictures rather than posting them publicly on Facebook.

I like this girl, but she has a tendency to be a bit self-absorbed at times, and probably didn't even think about it when she posted that.

I was supposed to go there to do the wedding cake, but couldn't afford to go.
If I had been able to go, though, even if I was really proud of my work with the cake, I certainly wouldn't have been posting pics of it until after the fact.

[Hobbs]

Did you ever stop to think that she didn't realize the bride was right behind her when the photo was snapped? Also, was this a straight-from-phone pic? I know some people can upload pics right after they've been taken. If that's the case, then maybe she didn't take the time to notice what was in the background. Onto that vein, how far away is the dress from the foreground? Is it clearly visible, or do you have to lean into the screen to see it?

[Boozy]

Also, was this a straight-from-phone pic? I know some people can upload pics right after they've been taken. If that's the case, then maybe she didn't take the time to notice what was in the background.

Ree obviously acknowledges that as a possibility; that is why the thread is titled "People who don't think..." and not "People who maliciously and purposefully ruin weddings".

[Hobbs]

Ree obviously acknowledges that as a possibility; that is why the thread is titled "People who don't think..." and not "People who maliciously and purposefully ruin weddings".

Despite the title, I didn't get that from the OP.

[blas87]

I have no doubt in my mind that Ree considered every "what if" and probably initially gave the girl the benefit of the doubt as the situation being a giant "woops" before she even thought of posting this.

I also agree with Boozy that Ree was never insinuating that this girl's picture pre-exposing the wedding gown is going to ruin the entire wedding or send the bride into instant bridezilla mode, but it was a sucky thing to do, obviously without thinking about it. Hence the title.

[Hobbs]

Yea, but there's a difference between people who don't think like this bridesmaid, and people who don't think and end up with major Charlie Fox-trot. So in that vein, it's hard to generalize the people that can have ditzy moments with those who simply have never learned common sense.

[Ree]

Perhaps if you had more carefully read what I posted, things would be more clear.
I hold no anger to this girl.
I just saw the picture and I was mildly ticked at her lack of thought before she posted it.

To answer your question, this was taken by someone with a camera, and not with a digital phone.
She was standing right beside the bride's dress, and the entire front of the dress was clearly visible.

As I stated, I don't think it was done with any malice.

She just posted the picture as a fun snapshot of her trip to her friend's wedding, and it simply wouldn't occur to her that maybe she should wait until after the wedding to post that picture of her dress. For some brides, even the bridesmaid dresses are meant to be kept a secret.

I guess it's just that I do think about the little details, and things like that, so it irks me when I see other people acting without thinking it through.

I'm sure she hasn't ruined the wedding.

I didn't really want a sneak peek at things, myself, and wanted to wait for the official wedding pictures.

I'm sure the dress will look much different off the hanger and on the bride, though, so I am still looking forward to that.

[Peppergirl]

Good Lord, where is the smiley over here??

[Hobbs]

Wouldn't or didn't? I take it from the OP that you see this as a chronic behavior of hers.

Oh, and if you hold no malice, it shouldn't be posted in a forum called "Things I Hate..."

[HYHYBT]

I never knew until reading this thread that women like to keep their wedding dress a secret; therefore, in a similar situation, I would not have seen any reason to hide it no matter how much thought I put into the photo. But then, I'm a guy, which, though overused as an excuse for cluelessness, seems fair enough in a discussion of wedding dress etiquette

[Ree]

Wouldn't or didn't?

Huh?

I take it from the OP that you see this as a chronic behavior of hers.

Actually, there you go misreading and adding to what has actually been said.

From the OP, I said she has a tendency to be self absorbed.
That was not meant as an insult or slam to her, and was not a statement of chronic behaviour such as this on her part.
I was simply stating that she, like many other people, gets so caught up in her own excitement that she wouldn't have been thinking about the picture.
I did not say she has a habit of doing things like this.
I merely implied that she would be so excited to be travelling so far away to be maid of honour for a very good friend, that she wouldn't think about the fact that the dress is in the picture.

I, on the other hand, tend to be a "think outside the box" kind of person.
I tend to overthink and pay attention to details such as that, and spend a lot of time stressing about how my actions will affect someone else.

I'm not saying I don't have my brain fart moments, but I do try my best to keep them to a minimum.

Oh, and if you hold no malice, it shouldn't be posted in a forum called "Things I Hate..."

Ummm...that was a name stuck onto the forum as a catchy title, but, once again, if you would read carefully past the title, and actually check out the details regarding this forum, you will see that this is a forum to vent.

Quick rants about what you hate and why.

I do hate that people don't think.

It happens a lot.
I just chose to post about this particular event because it was fresh in my mind.

I don't have malice toward the girl...why would I?
It's just a dress.

I do hate the fact that she didn't think before she posted the picture.

I actually had another thing happen to me personally just the other night, and it was a case of a person who didn't think.

It's no secret that my husband passed away almost 2 years ago.
Anyone who knows me or is familiar with me, knows how devastated I have been.
I have been slowly starting to put my life back in order, and have actually started going out socially by myself, rather than hiding away in my home like a hermit.
A few weeks ago, I went to a karaoke event with my daughter(s).
They were late getting there, so I sat all by myself at a table saving them a seat.

The other night, I attended a wedding of two coworkers.
I walked in by myself to the hall.
It was the same hall where the karaoke event was held, and it just happens that it's the hall belonging to the service club that I'm affiliated with, and in which my husband was a member.

I met one of my fellow members of the club at the door and, without thinking, he said to me, "All alone again, Ree? You looked so lost the other night at that karaoke. I felt kind of bad for you sitting there all by yourself."

OK...he was probably trying to be nice, but what an asshole thing to say, really.

Did he think I needed a reminder that I was alone?
I wanted to say, "Gee, thanks...I hadn't thought about that fact yet this hour. Thanks for the reminder."

Do I hate the guy for saying it...really?
No.

Do I hate that he didn't think before he said it?
Yes.

So, I guess the title of my thread wasn't as well thought out as it should have been.

Thanks for pointing that out, Hobbs.

I don't really "hate" people who don't think, but I do hate that it happens.

Is that a bit clearer for you now?

[lupo pazzesco]

Whoa whoa whoa whoa WAIT!!

.....

NO ONE told me that I was required to THINK!!

Life is going to get a lot more complicated from here on out.

Thanks y'all..... >.>

[Ree]

I never knew until reading this thread that women like to keep their wedding dress a secret;

Not all brides do.

Some brides don't care about that stuff at all.
Some post pictures of their dresses all over the place.

I just happen to know a lot of girls who really cared about keeping it all secret so, on the big day, everything gets presented in all its glory, and people see it all for the first time.

I do know some people have a superstition about the groom seeing the dress, so, by publicly posting a picture of it, there's a chance the guy will see it.

Some brides want their groom to be blown away when they see the whole ensemble for the first time. If they've already seen the dress, it kind of detracts from the drama of the moment.

I may be completely wrong about it, but I like to think I know this bride pretty well. She seems like one of those types of brides who wants to have that dramatic entrance.

Like I say, I could be wrong.

That doesn't detract from the fact that I hate when people don't think before doing stuff, though.