Color outside the lines

[DrFaroohk]

Is 5 going on 6 too early to start learning rules and structure? I don't mean in every day life, I mean in particular activities.

Little Bradley is just impossible with following directions. Like if we play Candyland - you can't get through a game of candyland with him. Because he wants to play it backwards - and have it that we get to move 10 squares every time - and that we each get to take two turns at a time. And that we don't have to follow the path. Oh, and the little cards? Those are throwing stars now. And the people? Those are guns. Basically the game gets thrown out the window.

Same with anything else. Wanna play baseball? Ok. I'll show him how to swing a bat. But oh no, that's how we're SUPPOSED to do it? FUCK THAT! I'm gonna swing it like its a ninja sword! Basketball? I wanna play basketball! Oh wait, we're supposed to throw it in the hoop? Fuck that! I wanna throw it at the cat!

Am I expecting too much? I'm not asking him to master every task he's given, just be able to follow really really basic instructions like push this button or roll one dice - and its just impossible. Anything he's supposed to do is like a sudden nightmare and he has to do everything he can't.

[Hobbs]

First off, nice title.

Okay, in seriousness, he is just 5-6 years old. I know I didn't have a good attention span back then. Of course, if its to the point where you can't get him to focus on anything, maybe it's a learning disability or something.

[HYHYBT]

If you're going to interact with other people, you have to have some basic format in common. Sure, you can play a game that uses the Candyland set, but goes backwards, skips around, etc. That's fine, but then you're not playing Candyland anymore, and if the people you're trying to play with think they *are* playing Candyland it can only end badly. The same with the others: you can certainly use a basketball or a baseball bat in other ways, but *if you're going to play ball* then you use them like this. And quit being mean to the poor cat!!!

In other words, no, you're not expecting too much.

[Fryk]

Hell, Hobbs, I STILL don't have a good attention span. And I would TOTALLY pretend the baseball bat is a ninja sword. I'd leave the cat alone, though.

[jackfaire]

Lol. Dealt with my daughter on this the other day actually and she is 9.

She follows the rules wears clothing, keeps her room clean and listens to her teachers. I figure if she wants to make up her own rules to games to keep them exciting it isn't a huge deal as long as she understands that only applies to when we play and that there are rules in life that can't be changed to please her.

[blas87]

There are children out there who are vandalizing and defacing anything they can find, there are kids who are bullying and beating the crap out of other kids, and there are kids out there who are so fucked up and in so much trouble, their own parents can't control them.

And your biggest complaint is that he wants to play Candyland backwards and swing a baseball bat like a ninja sword?

Wow. What a horrible, naughty child!

[Wingates_Hellsing]

Slow down blas, this isn't the 'demon-spawn child' thread it's the 'is this normal behavior/good development?'. Last time I checked, wanting the best for your child was a good thing.

IMO it's only natural for a parent to be concerned as to whether or not their child's worldview is panning out correctly. In this case I can see the potential problem and, while I'm everything but an expert in the area, it might be best to keep an eye on it and gently emphasize the difference between pretend and the real world.

[anakhouri]

I thought about this thread today because me and Khan were at the park this morning watching some big kids play tag (3rd graders, I think). The rules were always changing. First if 'It' came after you, you had to crouch on the ground and yell the name of a TV show. Then it was a movie, then no crouching, then there was a base where you were 'safe' and then there was no base. The entire game lasted maybe 20 minutes and the rules changed probably 4 times. Things like that are much more fluid for kids, I think. I can see how it would be frustrating for an adult but their brains don't work like ours.

And if a kid wants to change the rules of Candyland in the middle of a game just because he's losing and the rule change means he will win, say 'No way, buckaroo." You can't change rules solely to your advantage. Most kids learn to cheat on Candyland and they have to learn that's not acceptable.

But if they just want to do something silly throughout the game, that's cool.

I think your stepson is probably fine as long as he can follow instructions and obey rules when it's important (like "No running in the street!" or "Don't get in a van with no windows and a mud-caked license plate, with a stranger.").

[jackfaire]

I thought about this thread today because me and Khan were at the park this morning watching some big kids play tag (3rd graders, I think). The rules were always changing. First if 'It' came after you, you had to crouch on the ground and yell the name of a TV show. Then it was a movie, then no crouching, then there was a base where you were 'safe' and then there was no base. The entire game lasted maybe 20 minutes and the rules changed probably 4 times.

I could follow that actually I think most adults could they weren't changing the rules so much as playing four different types of tag (all of which are legitimate and have rules) that I used to play as a kid I think that is like just deciding which set of rules are in effect.

That's a great compromise if you can't decide which version of tag you want to play.