Men can't have custody.

[AdminAssistant]

Men have moobs.

Hooray for moobs!!!

[Wingates_Hellsing]

Men have moobs.

Trust me, Pudgygates_Hellsing knows all about moobs

[HYHYBT]

Well now, it *was* the idiot student, not the class content, making that claim. (If I read that wrong, please correct me.)

I kinda hate to bring this into yet another thread, but I've seen the fact that judges usually grant the mother custody used *as a reason to deny gay marriage/child-rearing*. Yes, people actually claim that a judge having to base such a decision on merits and the well-being of the child rather than simply relying on which parent is an "innie" to guide them would be a BAD thing.

[Nyoibo]

Hooray for moobs!!!

Trust me, Pudgygates_Hellsing knows all about moobs

Unfortunately for me at the moment with all the upper body work I'm doing mine are becoming, for want of a better word, "perky"

They won't go away.

[MadMike]

Plus I believe MadMike has full custody of his kid.

More or less. We never went to court, but she ran out on our son when he was 2 1/2. Well technically, I kicked her out (and no one who knew her, her family included, blamed me one bit), but I only kicked her out of my life. I didn't kick her out of our son's, in fact I encouraged her to spend time with him. And I made sure not to badmouth her in front of him, which wasn't easy with all the shit she put me through. But she'd always show up hours late, or not at all. And I tried to tell her that if she kept doing that to him, he'd get tired of it and not want her in his life. When he got to be about 12 or so, that came true.

The problem is that most judges, unless something is wrong with the mother, will award custody to the mother 100% of the time. It makes zero sense and shows how society can easily be just as sexist against men as it is women.

And that's a lot of the reason why I didn't pursue a court battle. Don't get me wrong, if she started one I would have fought back. She actually threatened me with that one, and only once. I looked her right in the eye on told her, "If you think you have a chance in hell of winning, you go right the fuck ahead!" She was bipolar, violent, couldn't hold down a job, and was started to develop a criminal record, so no judge in his right mind would award custody to her. But what if I got some judge that wasn't in his right mind, or one that was stuck in the 50's and thought that the mother was the better parent, no matter what? My wife told me I should have gone after her for child support, and even told me that when her sister went downtown to file with domestic relations, she saw the pictures of all the deadbeat parents on a bulletin board, and there were just as many women as men. So I guess times have changed. Still, I'm glad that I didn't have to go thru some messy court battle. My son is 16 now, and I don't think it would do any good if she did try.

Women are better are taking care of kids

Add me to the list of people who are calling bullshit. Women have been saying for years they can do anything a man can (and I agree), so the reverse of that must be true too. But if you have a logical explanation why women are inherently better parents, I'd love to hear it.

[AdminAssistant]

My niece (sister's step-daughter) would be much much better off with my sister and BIL. Better schools, better familial support, better financial situation, and more responsible parenting. But the....lazy person who gave birth to her has sole custody and BIL has visitation rights and pays child support. They haven't gone to court, but BIL did talk to a lawyer and was told he had no chance in hell because the mother wasn't outright abusive. Now, that niece is 9, the mother has really been working on her, and has convinced her that Daddy's house isn't as much fun, has more rules, and wouldn't she just rather stay with Mommy? And lay about in pajamas all day and eat cereal and watch TV? And so she does. BIL doesn't want to force her to visit, but it's breaking his heart to be away from his daughter and my nephew can't understand why Sissy isn't there anymore. Pisses me the fuck off.

[jackfaire]

Grrrrr that woman in your class needs to be smacked in the face with a fish.

Sadly people believe this BS and in any custody case the man is cast as the bad guy. When me and my ex lost custody of my daughter I was in the middle of a mental break down brought by stress at work, marriage and my dad's death.

I was trying my hardest to be a good provider for my wife and child and failing. My ex was an addict that had fallen off the wagon hard and was refusing to seek out any help.

They treated her like she was a saint and me like I was a horrible human being. Luckily they have never given her custody back. Me I don't want it as my daughter is good with her grandmother.

[Rapscallion]

Is it not the vagina but the boobs? maybe it's the boobs...

*begins waiting for explanation*

Explanation, shmexplanation. Tell me more about the boobs instead. ASCI pictures would be welcome in your dissertation.

Rapscallion

[Fryk]

Wouldn't it be more about the nipples than the whole boobs?

[Wingates_Hellsing]

Wouldn't it be more about the nipples than the whole boobs?

Is your glass of coke all about the straw?

[Fryk]

I don't use a straw... and I have no idea what that does to our metaphor here.

[Greenday]

I don't use a straw... and I have no idea what that does to our metaphor here.

He's saying you can't just focus on one part. You have to focus on the whole thing

[Ghel]

Your glass is no good without any soda in it. (to continue the child-rearing metaphor)

[Red Panda]

Throughout history and the animal kingdom the mother has been the primary raiser of children. Things like that don't happen by chance. Men don't get the same kind of bonding. They don't carry the child, nurse the child, or give birth to the child. Yes there are many examples of women being bad mothers but there could be many more examples of men being bad fathers. People are just focusing on the mothers in this thread.

[KnitShoni]

Throughout history and the animal kingdom the mother has been the primary raiser of children. Things like that don't happen by chance. Men don't get the same kind of bonding. They don't carry the child, nurse the child, or give birth to the child. Yes there are many examples of women being bad mothers but there could be many more examples of men being bad fathers. People are just focusing on the mothers in this thread.

Sorry, I can't agree with that. Having carried, birthed, and nursed my daughter doesn't make me a better parent than her father. Just because mothers HAVE BEEN primary caregiver most of the time doesn't mean men can't take on that role.