Up until I was 8 years old I felt like everyone else just one of the group another character in this novel we call our lives. I then went through something traumatic and since then I listen to my own beat and live life on my terms.
Now it feels like every once in awhile like I am staring at characters in a novel. I will talk to my friends or family and they are stuck in this, "must live life this way" they act like these stereotypes of the people I know instead of actual people.
I feel like running up to them and screaming at them to tell them to knock it off to live and think for once instead of just following the same path that they have always tread terrified of stepping off of it.
Some days I feel very alone. I hate it. Some days I wish I could be a sheep. Anyway it's late and I need sleep.
EDIT:
What I mean is if you run and a brick wall is in your path you climb, dig under, blow up, or run around the wall. But people don't do that in life.
"I live on this side of the bridge there is no way I can cross the state line to go find a job" "Sure he has screwed me over 20 times but he is my soulmate we are destiny" etc.
People create these ideas in their heads and are unwilling or unable to conceptualize shifting away from them. They become their identity. "If I don't always do this I will not be me even if this is destroying the quality of my life"
It's like they have a script to follow and they can't deviate from it no matter how miserable they make themselves.
Now it feels like every once in awhile like I am staring at characters in a novel. I will talk to my friends or family and they are stuck in this, "must live life this way" they act like these stereotypes of the people I know instead of actual people.
I feel like running up to them and screaming at them to tell them to knock it off to live and think for once instead of just following the same path that they have always tread terrified of stepping off of it.
Some days I feel very alone. I hate it. Some days I wish I could be a sheep. Anyway it's late and I need sleep.
EDIT:
What I mean is if you run and a brick wall is in your path you climb, dig under, blow up, or run around the wall. But people don't do that in life.
"I live on this side of the bridge there is no way I can cross the state line to go find a job" "Sure he has screwed me over 20 times but he is my soulmate we are destiny" etc.
People create these ideas in their heads and are unwilling or unable to conceptualize shifting away from them. They become their identity. "If I don't always do this I will not be me even if this is destroying the quality of my life"
It's like they have a script to follow and they can't deviate from it no matter how miserable they make themselves.
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