People who ask for free stuff and put a deadline on it

[MaggieTheCat]

I have a friend, D, who I've mentioned before on CS. Her and her husband's house burned down at the beginning of February. They are doing very well now, all things considered.

I made some jewelry for D for Christmas, and she sent me a check to pay for it. Except I never cashed the check, and she lost almost all of the jewelry in the fire, so I told her that I didn't want to cash her check. A lot of people were donating money and whatnot to them after the fire, so instead of actually donating money, I just told her I wouldn't cash her check. She also asked me if I could remake her necklace and earrings that I had made for her, and a bracelet which she was going to give to a friend of her's, which I told her I would do and she wouldn't have to pay me for them.

I remade the necklace and the bracelet, but around that time my husband and I were in the process of closing on our house and moving, so I never got them shipped out to her. I did tell her that all of my jewelry stuff was packed away (I had to add a few things to both pieces to finish them and couldn't during the move since all my stuff was in boxes) and that I'd get to them after the move.

She called last night asking how I was...but not long after the conversation started, she asked where her stuff was. I told her that I was sorry it had taken me longer than I originally told her to get it out to her and that I would ship it out soon. She got pissed and yelled at me about it and said her friend was cranky because she didn't have her bracelet yet. I felt bad about it, but on the other hand, I made this stuff for her for free and didn't ask for anything in return. I didn't really appreciate her hounding me about it. But, whatever.

Before we ended our conversation last night, she asked me to email her the pictures of our new kitten, Pluto, and she also said that she would email me pictures of their new puppy in return. So today I emailed her the pictures of Pluto, and also asked her if her friend wears earrings and wanted a pair to go along with her bracelet, since I had a matching pair already made. The reply I got back was this: "I want the earrings."

Um, okay. I don't know if she means that she wants both the pair that I specifically made for her, and the spare pair, or if she forgot that I already made a pair specifically for her. Either way, her reply pissed me off, because she didn't make any comment on the pictures I sent her, nor did she send me the pictures she said she would, NOR did she actually answer my question as to whether her friend wears earrings or not. And I'm still not too thrilled that she's guilting me into getting her FREE stuff out to her. I can understand her being impatient, but she doesn't have to be a bitch about it when I'm not charging her anything, not even shipping.

[Boozy]

Many years ago, I gave my mother a Christmas gift of "free housecleaning".

She was incredibly over-worked at the time, and I had some free time on my hands. I made her a certificate that entitled her to a top-to-bottom cleaning of her home (which I planned to do myself).

She was thrilled, and thanked me. I was pleased.

I let her know that I'd be by to do it sometime between Christmas and New Year's.

Turns out that she had a party planned on Boxing Day and wanted the house done before then. When I told her that I wasn't able to get it done quite that quickly, she snapped "Well then, what's the point?"

I just told her that I was sorry she felt that way, and that if my gift wasn't acceptable to her, I'd get her something else.

She was angry, but later called to apologize. She's not usually like this; like I said, she was overworked and very tired and stressed out.

I'd recommend saying something of the sort to your friend. She probably has no idea how her behaviour is coming across. Tell her that you're sorry that the gift has taken longer than expected, and perhaps she'd prefer to use the money she saved when you decided not to charge her on something else to replace those items she won't be receiving.

[crashhelmet]

i deal with these kind of people all the time. Sadly, they're almost always family members. Any time I make an offer like this, it's usually to provide a service like fixing their computer, setting up their home theatre, or something else in manual type labor. Every time though, I always stress what my schedule and availability is. Do they listen? We wouldn't have this thread if they did ;p

CH

[blas87]

This is why whenever someone is doing something for me for free or going out of their way just for me, I make sure to be grateful and not set any kind of stupid rules or guidelines. The only thing I ever ask is if it's possible to do it in a matter that doesn't interrupt my day sleeping during the workweek, like if my dad could put in my A/C unit on a weekday before I went to bed, or if my mom could stop by and help me hang up a new shower curtain before I go to bed.