Can't Take It Anymore!

[blas87]

I am so fucking sick and tired of people being able to treat me a certain way, but if I do the same to them (not even intentionally or to get back at them), they cannot handle it and flip out on me or get mad at me and then throw it BACK at me and I'm the bad guy.

My bf and I haven't been getting along period these days. Ever since Thursday, we have almost been fighting nonstop. Last night he told me some of his friends were going to go barhopping for a bachelor party which is tonight. He said it was ok if I came. I questioned him at first.....I mean, isn't that usually guys only? No no, it's ok, plus you hate my friends and never want to meet any, so you have to come. Ok.

Fast forward to a few minutes ago. As usual, not a call or a word from him as to when he's home and getting ready so I can have my que to get ready.....I finally get a hold of him and it's "Ohhh....uhh.....can you find something to do with your girlfriends tonight instead for a while....cuz....I.....uh....just realized it is a bachelor party and no other girls are coming and errrr.....it's probably just for guys."

You fucking jerk. Of course I flew off the handle on him for not telling me until now, how I had just ASKED him YESTERDAY are you sure it's ok I come and I was told it was fine, and now just today he finally realizes "Oh woops....no girls."

So I get it thrown at me "Why are you so mean to me? I do what I can to be good to you and do what you say when you want me to tell you what's going on, and you start screaming at me. Nothing I do is ever good enough for you! I have been out of it since I started my new job....I work all day and hardly sleep at all and glarble grabble garble..."

Oh cry me a fucking river and don't start with me. I have had the same job for years, I work sometimes 50-60 hour weeks and I hardly EVER sleep right, that NEVER gives me the excuse to ditch people or change plans at the last minute or basically excuse me from common courtesy towards others!!!!!!!!

And I'm mean and cranky? I try to be nice to YOU and you just yell at me or grumble or don't appreciate it.

It's not just him. My own family pulls this shit on me. My parents are always riding my ass about going to college and growing up and being like my brother......my parents get every excuse under the sun to forget things or not call me or not tell me things, but when I oversleep or can't do something because of my schedule, I get screamed at for being inconsiderate and rude and selfish. I don't get any excuses.

I am so sick of people poking fun at me at work, and me retaliating just to play their game, and they get offended and mad and then refuse to talk to me or just act mad at me for hours on end or even days on end. Don't start shit with me if you can't take it back.

What the hell is it about me?

[LexiaFira]

its possibly because of this and that because you have done this for so long that you HAVE to keep doing it while they can continue to do that yet when called on it, well lets blow it out of proportion to take blas' mind of the actual problem.

been there done that. tell them if its that big of an issue don't bother you. Yes...it sucks, it really does but after so long you cannot be expected to put up with it so do your own thing instead of waiting on them to call. Easier sad than done but hell even just reading a book is doing something.


Make your own plans and if they -your family or BF- get upset then you can say well then maybe you should have called to let me know you were available as I do have a life and I do make plans you know (not that you don't want these people to be a part of it yet thats how they are acting). Or how important communication is. Or hell the ONE time you slip up you're human, not an android, so don't even start.

[blas87]

I have been known to put up with stuff for a little too long in a lot of instances in life. Some of it is my own fault for not saying anything. BF and I were together for almost a year before I massively blew up and threatened the relationship if he ever made plans with me and blew me off at the last second again.....and he didn't do it again for about 6 months....then I blew up again...

My family...err. My parents want me to take them to the airport on a certain Friday, which I may have to do overtime, I'm not sure yet....I said if I can, I will, they are blowing up at me for being selfish because they come over all the time to help me put things up I can't reach or put in my A/C or whatever...on their own free time and free will, but since I don't know for sure if I can or not, it's a huge deal.

[LexiaFira]

what there is no other way for them to get there? so its the end of the world? ok then if I may. Say ok then I will not go to this oh so important job that is SUCH a big deal to you to pick you up and take you to this airport that you did not give me enough time to make sure I could do so. Yeah I'll do it since there is NO OTHER WAY. I'm soooo sorry for EVER not putting YOU first. (all said in sarcasm)
I mean didn't they make a big deal for you not going to work or sleeping in late once? Yes you asked for their help, and they could have said no or suggested some other way but if its going to be all about doing something in exchange for something instead of doing the right thing or just being nice then don't ask you again cause then they owe you.

sorry. getting angry on your behalf thats just....pitching a fit over little stuff wth

[blas87]

I'm pretty disciplined and rarely oversleep or forget stuff, but when I do, it's the end of the world for everyone. My bf throws a childlike tantrum when I oversleep and we end up not hanging out until after 8 on the weekend because of it.....buuuut he can refuse to answer his phone all day and I will fall asleep because I stayed up all day waiting for him to call and say what was up.

They can take a shuttle to the airport, they just don't want to. I can totally understand and it's not that I'm trying to get out of it, it's that I honestly don't know. My retarded manager doesn't decide overtime until the day before our weekend even begins, so I wouldn't even know until the day before they had to leave. It's not fair to say yes to them.

[jackfaire]

Honestly I deal with that kind of thing from my mom. She hasn't remembered my birthday since I was 16. (Not exaggerating she only remembers if I constantly tell her)

One year all I could afford to do was call her and wish her a happy birthday and I got to listen to how inconsiderate me (and my siblings) are for not making a big deal out of her birthday.

[LexiaFira]

yeah their actions are very unfair to you. hell start reacting to them they way they react to you
omf no offense but is your boyfriend a manboychild or what? throw a tantrum when you oversleep yet heaven forbid he extend common courtesy in return. grrrr

[blas87]

He's thisclose to being an ex.

I cannot beeeelieve that he did this to me today, then made no effort to contact me anytime this evening as to what was going on, I could not find a single friend to hang out with......I called over and over he finally answered and "Uhhhh....ohhh....we just left......I'll call you later."

So it's like I have to wait for his fucking permission to hang out with them. Stuck at home all fucking night otherwise.

This is the last time he pulls this shit on me. Correction: If I don't get a phone call by a decent time, he will get the call excusing him from this detriment of a relationship, and he'll never have to worry about me getting in the way of his "guy time" again, let alone having to remember to pick up his phone EVER again.

I don't demand to always come first, but it's a whole other story when my feelings are NEVER considered and I am ditched twice in two months....especially today....invited then UNINVITED at the last second and no offer to even try to make up for it, no real apology other than "Ohh sorry I just remembered it probably isn't ok that you come till later...."

[jackfaire]

Sorry Blas that really does suck.

[Red Panda]

Why do you always have to wait until the last minute to make plans? Ever consider he doesn't keep his phone on or doesn't notice it going off? Why don't you make plans ahead of time so you aren't frantically calling him on friday night trying to figure out where to meet?

[muses_nightmare]

Why do you always have to wait until the last minute to make plans? Ever consider he doesn't keep his phone on or doesn't notice it going off? Why don't you make plans ahead of time so you aren't frantically calling him on friday night trying to figure out where to meet?

From what I understand she didn't wait until the last minute, she was told that she could come to the bachelor party, but her bf never bothered to find out if it was actually alright, then he never bothered to call her when it was over to let her know if they were hanging out or not. (correct me if I'm misunderstanding the situation blas) That's not fair to her.

Blas, that really does suck. I do hope things get better for you.

[Boozy]

Blas is well-known for wanting to plan ahead, and her boyfriend is well-known for being resistant to it.

I think it might be time to cut him loose, blas. Your boyfriend is supposed to be a source of comfort, not stress.

[Hobbs]

I agree with Boozy, Blas. (Huh, I got tongue-tied saying that in my head...pressing on).

I mentioned it in another thread, and you gave me an appropriate answer, but I do think he's being a tremendous dick. I know my gf would kill me for doing crap like that to her, and if she did it to me, I'd be likewise infuriated.

[blas87]

Boozy said it better than I could have. The best part of all is he does make plans with me for the weekends but is notorious for every now and again just completely changing his mind or something coming up, but not feeling any need to let me know.

Many times I have been getting ready or wondering if I should be ready yet, went to call him because he never called to say if he was getting ready or not, and it's "Ooops....uhhh errrr some of my friends are in town....." or I've gotten off of work on a Friday night we were forced to do overtime and I don't get ahold of him until I'm almost home and it's "Ohhhh I got in a fight with my mom so I took off" or "Yeah.....I got bored and tired waiting for you so I went out of town."

Why make plans if you don't intend to keep them, or at the very least, be courteous and let that person know you're backing out?

It wasn't my most mature moment, but I did it back to him. Yeah, like I was goin to wait at home until midnight or later to be "told" when I could hang out with him. Around 10, a friend from my hometown (an hour away) suggested I come up north and see her.....even though it's not the smartest thing to do considering the shape my car is in, I didn't care and I took off and went to hang out with her and some other girls. Fortunately, the car made it just fine and we had a great few hours together and went out to eat after the bars and I didn't drink much so I could go home and go to bed. Plus, I'm usually up all night even on nights off because of my schedule at work so I made it home no problem....and I beat the sunrise.

Guess who was all of a sudden frantically texting/calling me after midnight?

It wasn't my smartest or most mature moment, but damn that felt good to do it back to him. I've never blown him off before. Now he knows how it feels.

[Talon]

It wasn't my smartest or most mature moment, but damn that felt good to do it back to him. I've never blown him off before. Now he knows how it feels.

So what if it wasn't mature, I wholeheartedly approve. There's times when being good, responsible, and mature are not in your best interests. Deadbeats (as it is becoming readily apparent that your b/f is one) can and will use it against you.
Besides, being bad is much more fun... not that I'd know anything about that