Don't blame me when your bf cheats on you

[blas87]

I have to agree I cannot condone knowingly being the "other woman" (or if it were the case, the other man).

I wouldn't want it done to me, that's for sure, and I would hope you don't either Panda, if you were to ever come across the right one for you.

I would be completely on your side if you made this thread because some guy came along and dragged you in, making you believe he was single and all of a sudden you started getting confronted and stalked by an angry girlfriend who was also lied to. But I cannot condone knowingly going after another girl's boyfriend.

[Fryk]

It bugs me to NO END when someone finds out that their SO is cheating on them, and they go and seek revenge on the other woman/man/wombat. Christ, there's someone right there in the relationship that's a perfect target for your rage... why seek out someone else?

Well, actually I know why. Because it's not about rage and hurt feelings for these people. It's about territory. "You touched my man( or wombat)!! He's MINE!!!!!!!" Why don't they just pee on their SOs to mark their territories, like the animals they are?

[blas87]

Uh some people do....remember R Kelly?

[Plaidman]

Uh some people do....remember R Kelly?

You owe me another monitor now Blas. Thanks.

[blas87]

For reals, I can barely afford to keep buying new underwear for every pair I piss while on CS.

[DrFaroohk]

I don't have any responcibility to maintain the sanctity of your relationship. He was the one who knew he was in a relationship and decided he wanted to have sex with somebody else. Just because I saw an attractive guy and made a move it doesn't make me a bad person, I'm not the one dating you. Get mad at him.

AMEN! I've had women cheat on me with other dudes and I have never for a second thought anything negative against them. Why should I? He didn't do anything wrong. He's not married. He has absolutely no obligation to help protect my relationship. It's my own fault for not being able to hold on to her.

Unless of course the other dude is a "friend" of mine. I used to have a problem where there was always a "player" in my group of friends, and that guy could not stand the notion of being single while one of us might have a girlfriend. He'd make a point of going after our women and then blowing them off once he made sure we were single. Actually any player who specifically targets people who are in a relationship just for the fun of it - those guys suck.

THAT dude deserves to have his ass kicked. Other than that, piss off. It aint my fault you suck in bed.

[Boozy]

This thread has gone down the route of personal attacks.

That ceases.

It's rare we infract here, but I'm quite prepared to do so if it continues.

As an addendum to this, and as clarification:

It's been pointed out to us how difficult it can be to debate someone's personal decisions without "getting personal." That's a fair point.

In situations where someone has presented their personal life as a subject for debate, we are inclined to relax the rules somewhat. In this case, statements about the behaviour are fine (ie, "That's a lousy thing to do") but statements about character are not (ie, "You're a lousy person for doing that.")

I hope that clarifies things. Carry on.

[HYHYBT]

For reals, I can barely afford to keep buying new underwear for every pair I piss while on CS.

You really need to switch to *washable* underwear.

[Rebel]

You really need to switch to *washable* underwear.

And now I have a mental picture of tissue paper underwear.

Thank you very much.

On to the OP: I once hooked up with a guy then later found out he was in a relationship. I felt incredibly dirty.
I could understand anyone being annoyed if the significant other was blaming them when they didn't even know he was in a relationship, but if they were aware, that's kinda skanky.

[muses_nightmare]

If the other person is fully aware of the prior relationship that's wrong, I've personally seen a situation like this happen to my best friend (she was the one that was cheated on), and the other girl was fully aware that he was in a relationship, hell my friend and him had been living together for 4 years or so. Yet she still went after him, I think my friend was rightfully furious with both of them.

If the other person doesn't know, it's a bit different, because both parties were being lied to.

And people that seek out married/attached people on purpose are just assholes.

[tropicsgoddess]

people that seek out married/attached people on purpose are just assholes.

I agree completely! For cheating, it's wrong and it's not the way to go. Cheating is taking the chickenshit route in the relationship instead of choosing to either try and make things work with the other half (spouse/bf/gf/domestic partner, etc.) or break it off and leave to be single or be with somebody else. Cheating is doing anything that you should do only with your partner but do with another person (i.e. anything romantic and/or sexual in a physical or emotional manner, in person or even online or texting/sexting, etc.). If you get in a relationship with somebody who lied to you about being single when they're really in a relationship then yeah, you have every right to be mad at that person for deceiving you. If you were knowingly in a relationship where you're the other woman (or man) then yeah, the SO has every right to be mad at the person that cheated on them. The only time the SO has a right to be mad at the other man/woman is if the other man/woman was the one that made the moves on their partner and knowingly engaged in a relationship with them. As for the ones that were cheated on, yes it hurts like hell, but you have to talk with the partner that cheated and ask why, what to do and if they don't want to then move your separate ways.

[ZedOmega]

The way I understand the psychology, if someone's in a relationship, they're giving the impression that they can support the person they're dating.

I've noticed something a long time ago, even before I started with the job that's slowly eating away at my sanity night by night: if someone's in a relationship, the competition starts getting heavier and heavier. There've been numerous times where one of two things has happened: either I've had to chase someone away from my girlfriend, or I've had to call her over to get someone away from me. And yes, that second part has happened on more than one occasion, simply because I've got three years with this girl and ideas for engagement rings at this point, and I'm not going to throw that time with her away over a piece of strange.

[KnitShoni]

The way I understand the psychology, if someone's in a relationship, they're giving the impression that they can support the person they're dating.

I've noticed something a long time ago, even before I started with the job that's slowly eating away at my sanity night by night: if someone's in a relationship, the competition starts getting heavier and heavier. There've been numerous times where one of two things has happened: either I've had to chase someone away from my girlfriend, or I've had to call her over to get someone away from me. And yes, that second part has happened on more than one occasion, simply because I've got three years with this girl and ideas for engagement rings at this point, and I'm not going to throw that time with her away over a piece of strange.

Yes, my husband and I have the same problem. It tends to happen a lot more often with him when he wears his wedding ring (he can't always wear it because of work), so be prepared for that.

[Plaidman]

Yes, my husband and I have the same problem. It tends to happen a lot more often with him when he wears his wedding ring (he can't always wear it because of work), so be prepared for that.

So I should wear a wedding ring to increase odds....

[KnitShoni]

So I should wear a wedding ring to increase odds....

Nah. From what I've seen of you, you're too good a person to want the type of woman who'd actively go after a married man.