I'm Not Being A Grouch!

[blas87]

I hate when you tell someone something they don't want to hear, so that automatically means that you're in a bad mood or being a "grouch" as my bf always calls me when I'm not interested in what he is proposing.

Look, if people would just drop the issue when I say no, or just forget it altogether, I would be fine. I don't start getting upset until I have been bugged and pushed and pushed and pushed. I mean, learn to take NO as a fucking answer already.

Last weekend....M = me B= Bf

B= If you want, we can stay at one of my friends' houses if you decided you want to drink some more and not worry about driving
M= I'm fine, I don't need to drink, and I really want to go home tonight, don't worry about it.
B= But if you want to let go and have some more fun, we don't have to drive home and you don't have to worry about it
M= I don't need to "let go" or drink to have more fun, I will be fine and I want to go home tonight. Thank you anyway.
B= Well in case you change your mind I just figured I'd let you know we have options
M= I understand that but I won't be drinking anymore and I don't want to stay at people's houses that I don't know.
B= Why do you have to be so mean?! I'm offering other options and you're just being a bitch! I just figured in case you change your mind-
M= I'm not going to change my mind, ok? I have told you already multiple times that I am fine and I'd like to go home tonight.
B= Why do you have to be such a bitch?!

I don't get why people push and push and keep trying to either convince you of something or get you to change your mind, and you DO start getting a little upset, they call you names or ask why you're so mean.

And then today...there's a birthday party for one of our friends. Dominos has a deal right now just today where large pizzas are $3.99. I really want to have that for supper tonight. I said I was ok with stopping by their party but I don't like beer and don't need to drink.

B= Well we can just stop and get you your own drinks and see what everyone's up to there.
M= That's fine but I won't need very much I just want to stop by and say hi, but I don't want to stay for hours and end up having to drive drunk people home or to the bars.
B= Why are you such a bitch, always thinking that I'm just going to get drunk and everyone will be drunk and want you to drive them places?
M= Because that's what always ends up happening. I told you politely last weekend that I was through being drunk taxi. I don't mind driving for you if we're just passing by because you can't drive with any alcohol in your system, but after last weekend, I am done driving slobbing drunks around everywhere.
B= You are such a bitch about things. Fine, call me later.

[DrFaroohk]

I get the same treatment, usually referred to as a 'negative nancy' because of it. Like if we plan a trip somewhere, and I bring up the obvious points of A) the car isn't in good enough shape to be driving six hundred miles and B) our checking account isn't in good enough shape to handle the trip and C) it's a three day trip and I have to work tomorrow...so seriously do you really think it's a good idea to go on this trip!?!?!?!?

And then I get accused of being negative. Of shooting down everyone's ideas. I'm sorry I'm the last person in the group who possesses a shred of common sense!

And the pushiness...I ALREADY SAID NO! ARE YOU FUCKING DEAF!?!?!??!

I hate naggers. Christ...you've already told me your idea. I heard you. My ears processed the sound and sent it to my brain. I am consciously aware of your plan. And I have said no. And every time you ask after that it just lowers my opinion of you and the idea even more, so you're not getting anywhere. If I was going to do it I'd do it, now shut the fuck up and leave me alone!!!!

[blas87]

I'm not even that much of a negative person (mostly on here because this is my safe haven to vent).

I am like you though, I will point out that I don't have a lot of extra cash or my car is in no shape for a long drive, and I get told that I'm a Debbie Downer and I never want to do anything.

I simply can't afford to always be partying and on the go go go go go go. Neither can my bf or most of my friends, but they do it anyway and wonder why they are always broke and can't make rent or are still stuck with their parents.

I'm not a hermit who never wants to leave the house. I am getting too worn out from partying and drinking, it's not even that fun to me anymore, I've never even been that obsessed with alcohol, and I don't see the issue in doing other things like bowling, going to the movies, going out to eat....stuff that is just as much or even less than drinking, but more enjoyable.

That's another one. I always get told I'm an anti-social hermit because I don't want to go party party party....uh, no. I like people and I hate being stuck at home. I just wish we could spend more time alone together and not fucking drinking.

I hate how my common sense and sense of responsibility has earned me the title of "Debbie Downer" and "Evil Bitch Who Hates Everything" when all I'm doing is pointing out stuff I can't afford or ideas I don't think are that fun or great.

[Hobbs]

*re-reads* Oh! Naggers. I was about to report you Farook

I get this all the time too. Mostly from my friends who want to hang out. Just fyi, i don't know how y'alls bars are, but the one's in my town are mostly full of full-on drunks and waste-oids. We don't have those nice trendy hippy places. At least, I've never worked in one so...I digress.

Point is, my friends (and family) nag me constantly for not drinking. I always politely decline (I also hate loud music, crowds and smoke) so I make a point of pointing these out when we discuss a bar. Does that work? Of course not. My siblings spit out that I must be adopted and my friends just roll their eyes.

[Rageaholic]

It's hard not to be a grouch when you're being bugged again and again to do something you don't want to do. I've gotten to the point where I just don't say anything if I'm asked more than twice.

"Wanna see this movie?"
"No"
"But I heard it's really good"
"I already answered, NO"
"Come on, you never do anything fun"
"And that's my choice. You can enjoy the movie without me"
"Come on!"
*silence*

I haven't had to use this tactic much, but it seems to work. Of course, there's a part of me that would love it if they kept it up after I ignored them. I hate when people ignore me when I'm trying to talk to them, but since I already answered, they would be the ones looking like an ass.

[blas87]

Everyone does this crap to me. Coworkers, family, friends, and of course the bf. I only have one friend who respects and understands the word "no".

It doesn't even matter if it's a social event. I say no, I mean no. God dammit.

And they always interject "But what if" "Well we could" "But if we" "There's always".......no. Just no.

I am not a mean person or a bitch, really. I just said no, no I don't want to.

[Kimmik]

*offers cookies to blas*

I learned long ago if you need to drink to have fun you are doing it wrong... my and hubby almost split because of this... He likes his beer... he liked it a little to much... I dont mind him drinking... but there is a line.. and once you go over that line... well then there is a problem. When I have had friends pull shit like well your a bitch cause you never want to have any fun... I turned around and asked ... ok what is so fun about blowing an ass wad of money on booze to spend the next morning puking and or wishing someone would just shoot me.

[cewfa]

<Side Track>From what I've read, sounds like you need a new bf Blas</side track>.

I have a friend, soon to be ex-friend, who pulls these kind of stunts. He thinks he can just order me to take him places or invite himself to where I am going. Then when I tell him no, he starts begging like my dog does for scraps. Its irritating and he is going to be in for a rude surprise when I disconnect my house phone because I got a new cell phone and he isn't getting the number.

[Fire_on_High]

*re-reads* Oh! Naggers. I was about to report you Farook

Thanks, I have to go watch that clip again now.

[draggar]

You're also grumpy if you give short answers - especially when asked the same question several times.

[blas87]

Ehh and now I keep getting annoying invites to the annual drunken tube float down the nasty river by where I work. Yes, there's nothing more fun than getting totally smashed while floating down a nasty river all day long then getting off at a bar and getting even more drunk. No, I said no, besides I work on Sunday nights and I am not wasting 8 hours of good vacation time to get drunk and float down a river, or even to be around drunks all day in a river.

I just need to move somewhere where people have other things to do than drink all the time. I don't know how the other Wisconsin folk here and on CS feel, but I think where I live, there's only two groups of people and just a few in between. The larger group is the drunks and drug addicts, the smaller group is the people who don't smoke or drink or even leave the house except to go to work. The smallest group of all is the people who may smoke, drink responsibly or hardly ever, but can find fun doing other things and like to be social and out of the house, just don't like to always get trashed or crazy. We aren't antisocial bitches or stuck up prudes, we just don't always look for reasons to get drunk and don't always want to get drunk.

People who beg need to be given shock collars and shocked to the max every time they keep it up. I swear, we aren't kids or dogs, there is no reason to keep bugging someone. NO means NO. Continuing to badger someone will make them mad and they will lash out at you.

[telecom_goddess]

So let me get this straight...you're being called a bitch because you don't want to drink and don't want to stay at some stranger's house? THE NERVE!

Geeze when are people going to grow up. Not drinking, wanting to go home and being responsible are not crimes people. It's called being an adult.

[blas87]

Don't forget I'm a prude because I don't think it's fun to get drunk while floating down a dirty river.

[Kimmik]

Don't forget I'm a prude because I don't think it's fun to get drunk while floating down a dirty river.

Yeah getting shitfaced while tubing is just so safe

I never understood the lets go to the river and get smashed then swim yeah cause bad things couldn't possibly happen... no never... Blas if your ever in Mich we can go out... I have found lots of fun things to do... that dont require drinking... Though I have to admit once or twice I have gone to a bar... and enjoyed watching people get stupid... best 10 bucks I spent... not bad music... and funny as hell watching the "in" folks dance badly and make asses of themselves.

In Jan... I went out... sadly I got shitfaced.. had a "friend" say something really stupid... and after that... well I let my stupid side take over... and let me tell you the next morning with a 1 month old and a hell of a hang over firmly reminded me why I stopped drinking like a fish a long time ago.

[blas87]

When I first turned 21 and up until about a year or so ago, I was at the bars every Friday and Saturday (at least, when I didn't have to do overtime) spending tons of money that I really shouldn't have, and being sicker than hell the next day.

I learned from it. It sucks to be hungover. It sucks to have a huge headache. It really sucks to be drunk, I hate the feeling of being so buzzed you can hardly talk or walk. I don't know why so many people I know are obsessed with being that way as often as possible.

It's not to say I never drink or get drunk. It's a rare occasion that I drink too much, and sure I can have one or two. I just hate how everyone always thinks "Aw, blas don't drink, she'll drive us!" or "Why don't you drink some more and have fun?!!?"

Alcohol bullies belong in the backyard, beaten to a pulp. I'm serious. What are we, 12 again?