Right now I am down on myself cause I just learned that my stepbrother is fighting for his life... we never get close.. but I could have reached out more.. maybe did something to make us closer..
Why do we never realize what is there till shit goes south.. I mean I know that him and my mother didnt get along, but maybe I should have tried more.. now I might not get the chance. And my heart is breaking for my dad because he already lost one son.. I know that pain now having lost my son... who was named after his uncle..
Why are we so damn fragile.. seriously.
Why can we send txt message, fly to the fucking moon but we can't figure out the fucking brain..
I may not be close to him.. but he is family and I was raised no matter what family is family.. and I am so fucking confused.. cause of shit that has happened in the past yet I sit here crying wondering wtf..
god I hate this confused feeling.. it pisses me off. I dont know if I am feeling sadness or anger or what the fuck.. god i am pissing myself off.. I dont like not being able to control my emotions.. normally I can lock them away.. but right now not knowing if he will live or die.. I remember that feeling.. I know what my dad must be feeling..
And then one side of the family wants to start shit.. because the other isnt doing what the other thinks they should...
meh there is never chocolate in the damn house when you need it
Why do we never realize what is there till shit goes south.. I mean I know that him and my mother didnt get along, but maybe I should have tried more.. now I might not get the chance. And my heart is breaking for my dad because he already lost one son.. I know that pain now having lost my son... who was named after his uncle..
Why are we so damn fragile.. seriously.
Why can we send txt message, fly to the fucking moon but we can't figure out the fucking brain..
I may not be close to him.. but he is family and I was raised no matter what family is family.. and I am so fucking confused.. cause of shit that has happened in the past yet I sit here crying wondering wtf..
god I hate this confused feeling.. it pisses me off. I dont know if I am feeling sadness or anger or what the fuck.. god i am pissing myself off.. I dont like not being able to control my emotions.. normally I can lock them away.. but right now not knowing if he will live or die.. I remember that feeling.. I know what my dad must be feeling..
And then one side of the family wants to start shit.. because the other isnt doing what the other thinks they should...
meh there is never chocolate in the damn house when you need it
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