Stop eating my food!

[Saydrah]

I have a roommate. By and large, he's a good roommate. He sort of fell into living with me because his family well and truly screwed him over by convincing him to come work in England for a year to pay some medical bills by taking advantage of the exchange rate. Family promised to take care of everything, sent plane tickets, and NEVER GOT HIM A WORK PERMIT. So the poor guy sat in England for a year, couldn't even work to afford his own plane ticket home, doing whatever under the table jobs he could, and when he finally got back to the US, found that the sister he'd been living with here after the surgery that caused the medical bills was no longer able to offer him a room. So, to my couch he came, and to his credit, he sleeps on my couch, pays his share of the rent (though not always on time), does the dishes, takes out the trash, and very rarely complains.

So, really, it's not him I'm complaining about, but more so the horrendous roommate of years past that I'm reminded of whenever he eats my food. Mostly, the current roommate doesn't eat food he didn't pay for or share the cost of. But last night he drank the last of my chocolate soymilk, ate my tuna and tacquitos, and then went to work, so I couldn't even complain about it to him!

Now, this is my pet peeve because the roommate of years past, who shall be known as IR, for Inconsiderate Roomie, used to go for months without buying groceries. Was he just eating out? Ordering takeout? Mooching food off his mother? Heavens, no. He was helping himself to anything I bought, and even if I left no food at all in the house for weeks, he would eat at his mother's house until I bought groceries, and then eat all my groceries when I did! Whole boxes of granola bars disappeared overnight, with the empty box left in the cabinet to taunt me when I foolishly hoped at least one would be left for me. I took to only buying non-perishable foods and keeping them all in my locked closet.

He even ate my leftovers from restaurants! Yes, the leftovers I'd bring home, with bites out, with my potentially bacteria-laden saliva already mixed with the food. They didn't last more than a couple hours if I went out and left IR alone in the house. He cooked my ENTIRE $8.00 bag of soba noodles- 12 servings- in one evening! He ate whole tubs of ice cream.

Was he a compulsive eater? In fact, no. When my locked-closet policy eventually forced IR to buy his own groceries, he ate them slowly, in moderate portion sizes. He was large, but not so large as to suggest a medical problem causing his hunger. He was just plain unable to understand WHY I would not want my grocery bill to become the "Feeding IR bill!" Yes, he was frequently broke and having trouble affording food, but I had little sympathy, as most of his paycheck went to buying expensive things for his girlfriend, who liked to fake pregnancies if she felt she wasn't getting enough attention from him. She also liked to insult my pets when she came over, have sex on my living room floor without even hanging a sock or tie on the door to warn me not to come into my own apartment lest I bear witness to the mating ritual of the rare Hairy-Legged American Bitch.

So, in short, I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE HELP EAT FOOD THEY DIDN'T HELP PAY FOR, and don't even ask first! Just call me Little Red Hen.

[Norton]

Roommates can be such a pain. I'm glad your current roomie isn't so bad.

I had a sucky roommate a couple of years ago. We slept in a bunk bed in a tiny studio apartment.
Without checking with me, she made a key for her boyfriend, and he started living with us. At first, he'd only sleep over a couple of nights a week. Then he was just always there. He spent long periods of time in our bathroom, ate the food we bought, made messes and never cleaned up after himself, and worst of all - never paid any rent or utilities. He lived with us that way for over a year. Whenever I brought it up to my roommate, she claimed that he didn't really live with us, since most of his stuff was at his mother's. I was too much of a wuss to stand up for myself, sadly. I should have simply refused to pay rent until he was gone.

Sleeping on the bottom bunk was hazardous. The bed was more suited for two children. The mattresses were only supported by thin wooden slats, and the ladder couldn't support much weight. My roommate's bf was not a small person. He'd climb on the top bunk, and the slats would creak and sag menacingly close to my face. I came home one day to find a couple of slats broken and jutting down onto my mattress. I shudder to think what would have happened if I had been asleep when they broke.
That top bunk was disgusting as well. One night before I had fully fallen asleep, a cold piece of pizza fell from the top bunk and smacked me in the head. There always seemed to be a supply of used tissues and half-eaten food up there, perched precariously and ready to fall below to my bed. Oh yeah, and my roommate hawked loogies onto the wall, which would then trickle down onto my bunk.

At one time, I had my boyfriend move in as well, but only on the condition that he give $200 a month for rent. He paid his fair share. At that point, we had four people living in one room, all in a bunk bed. I mentioned to my roommate that three of the four of us paid rent, so why not her boyfriend? In return, she threatened that if I brought it up again, she'd tell the landlord about my boyfriend, and have us all kicked out!

Moving forward a few months, both boyfriends had been dumped, and my roommate and I reconciled. Then she turned vegan. When I had money to buy food, I always picked up something with no animal products that both of us liked, along with non-vegan food for me. When she went shopping, she would only buy things she knew I would not eat (vegan cheese, soy milk, soy-dogs). She even began keeping her groceries at her new boyfriend's house. In the last six months we lived in that apartment, I estimate she bought less than $20 worth of groceries for the both of us.

I'm so glad to be out of there.

[Greenday]

My roommate last year was a slob. He was never around though, so it wasn't too bad. He was a nice guy, just pretty messy. I should mention that I lived in a dorm last year, so it was just one room for the two of us. We had a hurricane come through so I went home one of the first weekends. My grandparents had never seen my school so they came up with my parents and I to see it. I warned my roommate two days in advance that my grandparents were coming up. I get back, open the door, and there is crap everywhere. Not to mention I make my bed the same way every time, and it wasn't the way I make it when I walked in. My roommate had people over on FRIDAY night, someone slept in my bed without my permission, had all of Saturday to clean the room, most of Sunday before we got back, and left it all a mess. I was furious. We had bunked out beds. I had the bottom bunk. Towards the end of the semester, and through most of the Spring semester, my roommate felt the need to spank the monkey every night. Stupid springs on his bed needed oiling. I had my girlfriend over for homecoming weekend and he knew that. He knew stuff was going to be going on. Around 8am (hey, I AM a college student, it can happen ANYTIME), while my girlfriend and I were doing stuff, and there was a nice big X on our whiteboard, my roommate just unlocks the door and walks in. Once again, in the mood to kill him.

My roommate this year is a lot better. He's more my kind of messy. Messy, but keeping your mess localized by your desk so it's out of the way. We eat our own food, but EVERY time we get pizza or Chinese, I end up paying for the food and the tip. He's chipped in maybe twice so far. All last semester he complained that he didn't have cash. I know he worked a summer job. He doesn't have a car and he doesn't pay any bills. He was single. He doesn't drink. Where did his summer money go? Hell, I have a car, I do drink, I crashed and spent $1,000 on getting my car fixed, and I STILL have some money left, even though my summer job paid less than minimum wage.

[Saydrah]

Glad I'm not alone in the experience of having had a sucky roommate!

I once took a nap on the couch and woke up to the inconsiderate roommate and his horrendous bitch girlfriend having sex on the floor next to me. They couldn't even wait for me to wake up, or wake me up and ask me to give them some alone time- no sir! Now, I'm pretty damn open minded, but if your kink is people watching you, find someone who WANTS to watch, rather than someone who wants to kick your girlfriend in the head for stealing her new shoes. Yeah, I'm still mad about that. I mean, a line was CROSSED. You don't steal a woman's brand new shoes. Especially not by replacing them with your OLD STINKY SNEAKERS, wearing them around town, and then claiming you mistook them for your shoes, but oops, they're pretty worn in now, no need to give them back- you can get new ones, right? And no, of course she never paid me back for said shoes.

IR also liked to wipe boogers on the wall by his bed because he couldn't be bothered to get up and grab a tissue.

When we first moved in together, I had a baby puppy- 9 weeks old- and I offered to reduce his rent a bit in exchange for his taking the pup out once a day while I was at work. I worked days, he worked nights. He generally woke up in the early to mid afternoon- about exactly when the dog needed to go potty. Perfect, right?

No, he took the deduction in rent and ignored the whining dog scratching at the door, as I found out after a couple weeks when I wondered what the stench in the living room was and moved a box to find several perfectly preserved piles of puppy poo. IR had been just letting the puppy get desperate enough to go on the floor, then covering it up with a box before I got home.


I felt horrible for the poor pup- I ended up having to hire a neighbor's teenager to come in and take him out during the day. That system worked out okay, since IR was always home to prevent the teenager from taking anything but just too lazy to take the dog out.

The worst part is, IR and my SO are still friends- so occasionally IR still comes into my apartment briefly to see the SO. I've permanently banned the shoe-stealing girlfriend, though.

*seethe*

[Dreamstalker]

My two college roommates were nightmares.

In the dorms: an underage (important as the dorm I was in at the time was substance-free, myself and the RA were the only residents over 21) entitled SoCal princess who would sneak pot and booze into the room and then blame it on me when a surprise inspection came up or suspicions were raised (RA was too smart to fall for that). She would bring random guys back to the room and have loud sex at all hours...this in a double dorm room where the beds were about 8 inches apart at most. Finally the RA came down on her hard after my 3rd complaint and the neighbors' first (typically, the complainer has to be the one to move, but she decided that since there were multiple complaints against the same person, the target had to leave). She was given the boot into the "party dorm" and I never saw her again.

In the campus apartments: Grad student who was older than my mom and felt she had to play the part. Absolute slob especially when it came to food. Originally, both of us had units to ourselves, but we were shuffled together after a structural problem in the other block. It was soon discovered that the only reason she had a single (in contrast to my documented academic requirement) was that nobody wanted to put up with her. Apparently to her, "single" meant "I can be as messy as I want"; the common room was her storage facility. My dishes and cleaning supplies would regularly get stolen and I would find rotting foodstuffs in the fridge daily (cooked rice does not keep well when it hasn't been covered for a week).

The now-ex was considering moving in with me last year...he thought that he could cram all his junk into a studio apartment with mine (er, no...I'm tidy so there's a good amount of floor space, but another bed is not going to fit in here). He also thought that "studio" meant 2 bedrooms (again, no unless someone plans to sleep in the bathroom). I'm betting that had he done so, I'd still be footing all the bills...he claimed that I was paying too much (DUH I'm in a fairly nice area of the city idiot!).

[protege]

Damn...and I thought my college roommate was bad...

Nearly every morning, usually around 7am, his 14-year-old (don't even get me started on why a 20-something was dating a child...) girlfriend would call. Every damn morning, it was the same thing--"everybody hates me," "I'm ugly," "school's too hard," etc. Keep in mind that my first class wasn't until 10, and I'm *not* a morning person!

But, that was nothing. He managed to piss off the entire *building* later that semester. How? He'd go out and party most nights, come back drunk. Making lots of noise, and just being an ass. He got what was coming though--I'd gone across the hall to help someone with an accounting problem, and didn't lock the door. That's when my neighbors went into the room, found him passed out, and got their revenge. Our bunks had wooden frames. Roomie was wrapped up in a sheet...which got stapled to the bed frame!

Ok, back to his girlfriend. 14 years old. Are you fucking kidding me? He actually saw no problem with that. Never mind the ewww! factor, but he believed it wasn't illegal, and that they were "made for each other." Needless to say he simply couldn't land someone his own age--most women felt he was a pompous asshole!

I'm soooo glad I lived in the dorms only 1 year, and he got thrown out sophomore year

[Greenday]

But, that was nothing. He managed to piss off the entire *building* later that semester. How? He'd go out and party most nights, come back drunk. Making lots of noise, and just being an ass.

Yea, see, my problem is, everyone on my floor is like that, so my roommate and I have to deal with it every night, Sunday through Saturday. And they don't take days off either.

[myswtghst]

I had a series of interesting roomies in college. To summarize, as succintly as possible, we have:

Freshman Year: Started the year with A, who was the most uptight, sheltered girl I ever met. Worked well when she went home every weekend, not so well when she was bagging up my stuff in garbage bags because she couldn't be bothered to actually ASK me to clean up and when she'd shut all the lights off at 8pm, regardless of what I was doing, as it was "bed time." After A moved out, I had a single for a while, then T moved in. T was fine until she started dating one of our TA's, and, for reasons still unknown to me, locked my boyfriend out of our room one night while I was at class.

Sophomore Year: Moved in with S, who seemed nice enough and was my former lab partner. S and I got along, but she was the messiest person I've ever met. The only time our room was ever cleaned by someone other than me was while she was laid up with kidney stones, and her mom came up and cleaned. She once left mac'n'cheese in the hot pot so long that I thought it would start talking. It did grow 5 colors of mold before I bagged it and dumped the whole darn thing down the garbage chute. I spent a lot of time at my boy D's house that year, just avoiding the nonsense that was our room.

Junior Year: Moved into a 2-BR apartment with B and C, on the understanding that 2 people would share a room. C started the year off on the wrong foot, by letting us know that she NEEDED the single, because her and her bf "f'ed like bunnies." Ew. She did get the single for first semester, I got it second. C also had a problem with leaving all the lights on at all times, and TV's on in rooms she wasn't in, then complaining when the electric bill was "too high." When that happened, she'd often turn off the A/C for no good reason in the middle of summer weather, or lecture you hypocritically. Also, B and C both would tell me that smoking was bad for me, but as soon as they had a bit to drink, would beg me to have a few of my cigs. And finally, C had a tendency to constantly borrow my nice clothes, but spaz when I asked to borrow one of her shirts, afraid I would spill on it at a party - like I wouldn't pay to have it cleaned.

Senior Year: Moved into a townhouse w C from last year, the aforementioned guy friend D (best roommate evar!) and for half the year, my bf J. J lived illegally in the basement, but mostly kept his mess to himself. D was fantastic - very good about being straightforward when there was a problem and expecting a reasonable solution. C went from bad the previous year to nuts this year. Stealing other people's food but hoarding her own in her room, smoking pot in the house after we expressly asked her not to, and even offered that all the cig smokers would smoke outside, bringing over the guy she was cheating on her bf with and getting mad when we'd crack jokes about it, etc. By the end of the year, we were barely speaking, aside from working out arrangements for the cable bill, and I haven't seen/talked to her since. D and J I've actually driven back up to MI to visit.

[Greenday]

Ooh, I forgot to talk about my current roommate's roommate from last year. This kid was special. He was very, very spoiled.

Often, when he got drunk, he'd talk about how he was picked on in school, suicide, and you kinda feared what he might do if you pissed him off while drunk.

They were planning on rooming together for this year. While I was hanging out with current roommate's old roommate, he told me he really wasn't going to room with my friend, but he was never going to say anything about it. That's messed up.

Randomly towards the end of the year, the guy separated the room into two halves. He took all his stuff and put it on one side, and put all my friend's stuff on the other side. That included the fridge this guy owned. He took all my friend's food out of the fridge and left it on my friend's side, to go bad.

[myswtghst]

Oh...I forgot to mention. When J, of the townhouse senior year, would get drunk - which was often as he was "in a band!" - he would often either wet the bed, or pee in a random corner/laundry basket/sink/etc. This is the main reason he lived in the basement, where there were cement floors with drains. It's a wonder he and I aren't still together, with what a catch he was.

[MadMike]

Where I went to college, stealing your roomates' food was almost a justification for homicide. I remember coming back to the dorm after classes one day, crashing out on the couch, and waking up to some sort of commotion in the hallway. I later found out that in the apartment (the dorms were actually 2 and 3 bedroom apartments, with 2 to a bedroom) across the hall from me, some of the girls had been stealing food from their roommates, and they literally ran them out of the apartment. First, they threw all their stuff out in the hall, then they forced the girls themselves out into the hall.

Ah, memories...

[Dreamstalker]

I was too scared of Roomie #2's culinary hygiene to consider even touching her food...three months in it got so weird (uncovered cooked rice in the fridge achieves sentience in approximately 14 days) that I brought my dorm-sized fridge down from my dad's and kept it in my room. I still don't know how neither me nor her got massive food poisoning from the stuff in there.

The ex, while nowhere near as bad as she was when it came to food and cleaning, is still pretty bad from what I've gleaned. Once he made the mistake of telling me he has no clean pots...why? The genius leaves old food in them (doesn't even cross his mind to at least fill the pot with water and let it soak) and then can't remove it as it has bonded to cookware at the molecular level. Basically pans aren't cleaned until they're absolutely needed. When I pointed out how to avoid this in the future, he says "You only know this stuff because your mom is a cook"...um, common sense.

[myswtghst]

Once he made the mistake of telling me he has no clean pots...why? The genius leaves old food in them (doesn't even cross his mind to at least fill the pot with water and let it soak) and then can't remove it as it has bonded to cookware at the molecular level. Basically pans aren't cleaned until they're absolutely needed. When I pointed out how to avoid this in the future, he says "You only know this stuff because your mom is a cook"...um, common sense.

This is something else roomie C used to do. I don't care if you don't throw stuff in the dishwasher, or don't have time/desire to wash something immediately, but at least rinse/scrape the food out of it, so when you do wash, it isn't permanently stuck on, or moldy. Especially when they're my dishes!

[Amethyst Hunter]

stealing your roomates' food is justification for homicide.

Fixed your post.

[Dreamstalker]

I don't care if you don't throw stuff in the dishwasher, or don't have time/desire to wash something immediately, but at least rinse/scrape the food out of it, so when you do wash, it isn't permanently stuck on, or moldy.

Had this guy moved in, regardless of any existing relationship I would have come close to killing him in short order. I have enough problems keeping the roaches from the basement away in the warmer weather, I do NOT need anyone encouraging them (then I get told I'm "overreacting"...more proof it would not have gone well).

Really, how can you not grasp that dishes need to be cleaned?...oh that's right, there's a "dish fairy" who does it when everyone's asleep