Strangers calling you "Sweetie", etc

[LadyBarbossa]

I'm beginning to understand why my Mom constantly gripes about sales people, etcetera, who are her age or much younger, calling her 'Sweetie', 'Sweetheart', 'Honey', etc. I've noticed more and more customers, as well as sales people when I go out, doing this to me. I realize I look a lot younger than I am, but really . . .

If you are not an older person or we are not acquaintances, preferably friends, you do NOT get to call me cutesy nicknames! It's especially irksome when the person is clearly younger than me and say these things in a manner that makes it clear they feel they are superior or that they're doing me some kind of favor by being so nice. I really try to avoid calling people these names. Every now and then I'll slip and say it to a child, but I'd never dream of saying it to a stranger, let alone someone my age or older! I get a lot of older men calling me 'Red' because of my hair color, but this doesn't bother me. But the 'Sweetie' and 'Honey' crap from damn teenage/college girls has got to stop!

EDIT: Gah, the title is supposed to say 'Strangers', obviously.

[guywithashovel]

When I still worked in retail, customers would sometimes call me names like that. I always felt like they were patronizing me.

[Hobbs]

I always did the tried and true, "Yes sir/no sir/of course sir/no thank you sir...etc"

[Fryk]

The one I hate the most, and I don't know why, is "Buddy". I quadruple HATE when people call me that!

[Mongo Skruddgemire]

Devil's advocate here.

What would people like to be called? I've seen complaints that people use the name on the nametag since it is their first name and strangers should not be on a first name basis. Cutesy names are right out for the reasons above. People don't like to be called Sir unless they are a higher ranking serviceman (and even some of the Non-Coms kvetch about it). Ma'am is disliked since it makes some people feel old, Miss makes people feel too young, last names are impersonal...

Titles seem to be better. Officer for police staff, Doctor, etc. But even these have their drawbacks. Some of the titles are gender specific and are offensive to some people. And not all jobs have a title to go with it. I mean you don't hear "Oh person who sits behind the desk at the fitting rooms, how many pants can I take in to try on?"

Buddy, pal and friend are frowned upon because the false implication of a relationship, hey you is just plain damn rude...

What is left?

[Lace Neil Singer]

Also, possibly, devil's advocate.

To me, it depends on the age of the customer and also the situation. A lot of elderly people call me "pet", "duck" or "dear". I don't mind this in the slightest. I've also had some van and lorry drivers call me "darling". I don't mind this either.

However, if it was a letchy customer practically drooling down my top and calling me "darling" or "dear", I'd hate it. I wouldn't serve them either; I'd walk away.

[Boozy]

What is left?

Nothing.

I get through hundreds of conversations a week at my job without addressing my customers by a title of any sort.

[Rapscallion]

EDIT: Gah, the title is supposed to say 'Strangers', obviously.

Drawback in the software. Have adjusted it for you manually.

Rapscallion

[Ghel]

I usually bite my tongue when a woman calls me "Dear," "Sweetie," or "Honey." But on the rare occasion that a man calls me one of these things, I bluntly tell him, "Don't call me that. My name is Ghel." In fact, most of the time, I can avoid being called all these nicknames by introducing myself by the name I want to be called. Then we're not strangers any more, and they can feel free to call me by my first name.

[Ree]

It's a bit patronizing, and I do find it a little annoying, but some people just do it out of habit, and no offense is intended.

My MIL was an absolute sweetheart, and she always referred to people as "dear". That's just how she was, but I guess if you didn't know her, you might think it was annoying.

I was so angry with a clerk one day because she hurt my MIL's feelings over the word.
My MIL was picking out some produce, and she had some wet lettuce or something in her hands and was looking for a bag. The clerk in that department handed my MIL a bag. My MIL said, "Oh, thanks, dear..." and before she could say another word, the clerk very rudely cut her off and said, "Don't call me dear. I am not your dear."

The look on that beautiful woman's face almost broke my heart. The girl might as well have slapped her right across the mouth.

[HYHYBT]

I'm with Boozy.

Some people's habit of speech is to scatter the name of the person they're talking to here and there, for no reason that I've ever been able to see. So if they don't know, they have a pet substitute word to insert in that space rather than leaving the name out.

Ha, just thought of something, which doesn't quite relate here but it's connected: again, many people do use the name of the person they're speaking to regularly in conversation ("So, Daniel, where have you been?" instead of "So where have you been?"). The only times I can see this as having any purpose at all are when either there are many people in the conversation and you have to specify, or to help in reinforcing in your mind that this name belongs to that person. But the second case can't be right for most people, because they do it with people they know well; with those you've just met, and especially those whose name you've read off a tag, it's both fairly rare and incredibly annoying... but nonetheless, it may be why some of them do that.

[McDreidel09]

*hides*

I'm one of those people. The reason I say those names is because my mom did it all the time, especially for her daycare job, so I picked it up, and it has been a habit ever since.

Rule of thumb: People close to my age get called hun,sweetheart, etc. People who are obviously older than me, I will call ma'am or sir until I get to know them better. If I get to know them, I will call them pet names.

Now, I won't go as far as calling my customers cutesy names, unless it's a waaaay younger child who is being taught how to order.

[blas87]

I prefer "Miss" if the person does not know my name or me personally.

I'm a young woman in my 20s and I'm not married. I understand it's a respect thing, but I'm not ma'ame.

I don't care if elderly people want to call me dear or hun or sweetie, but if it's a man who gives me creep vibes, then I take offence. There's a difference between an old man saying "Good morning sunshine!" and some creep saying "Mmmm, what's up hun?"

[Red Panda]

I don't see why old people get a pass on nicknames. Its either okay for all adults or no adults.

[blas87]

I guess my reasoning is that every generation is a little different, and it's not like older people are going to stop calling youngsters what they always have today and now.

I would expect an old man to call me sunshine or sweetheart. My manager at work is almost retirement age and calls me sunshine and kiddo and kiddie. Sometimes I want to roll my eyes or punch him in the back of the head, but he has probably done that for years. Compared to him, everyone is a kid.

Sometimes people feel a parent type connection to a younger person. Some of the women I work with that are my mom or aunts' age tend to call me sweetheart or hunny. And I've always been used to female peers my age calling me hun or babe or sweetie.

Maybe I'm a raving sexist against men, but I have a problem with certain types of guys calling me certain names. Only my dad is allowed to call me Toots. Only my bf can call me "Sexycakes".