Cock Blocks

[Greenday]

So, you guys DID read the part where I said her friend was telling her to quit because it'd hurt her chances to hook up with other guys, right? Not date them. Hook up with them. Do the exact same thing we've been doing, but with other people. She's changing the type of relationship she wants to be in. Just that it should be someone new which is an idea her friend planted in her head.

Regardless, I'm glad she's letting me know in a way that she's going to pursue other guys since I'm not hooking up with someone who is hooking up with other people. I like to stay clean of STDs.

[Plaidman]

So, you guys DID read the part where I said her friend was telling her to quit because it'd hurt her chances to hook up with other guys, right? Not date them. Hook up with them. Do the exact same thing we've been doing, but with other people. She's changing the type of relationship she wants to be in. Just that it should be someone new which is an idea her friend planted in her head.

Did she say that she just wants to hook up and have sex and that was it? Whenever I heard hook up, that means to date, not to just sleep and run.

Why are you so angry? If she was your friend, ya be happy with her wishs, rather then be "Damn it! I Can't have sex now!" in which your not really any kind of friend, you just want her body.

[Hobbs]

I thought the terms "hook up" and "date" were quite interchangeable, at least in the initial stages of "courtship". How do you know she's looking for another fwb and not for a substantial relationship? Also, regardless of whether or not she's doing that, it's HER CHOICE to whom she sleeps with. An fwb relationship, per definition, holds no obligation of one person to another. If you're really that desperate, there's Craigslist and Adultfriendfinder.

[Greenday]

Did she say that she just wants to hook up and have sex and that was it? Whenever I heard hook up, that means to date, not to just sleep and run.

Why are you so angry? If she was your friend, ya be happy with her wishs, rather then be "Damn it! I Can't have sex now!" in which your not really any kind of friend, you just want her body.

In 22+ years, I've never heard hook up refer to dating. She means having sex without a relationship. That was clear.

I'm angry cause I have no idea why the hell the guy was suggesting she hook up with more people. We had a good thing going that I know she enjoyed. So what was the purpose of stepping in and ruining it? If my friend was unhappy with what we had, she would have told me. We communicate very well.

If this is what she wants, fine, she's an adult, she's able to make her own decisions. I just don't see why he wanted to encourage her to hook up with other people. As far as I know, he has nothing against me.

[Plaidman]

Or maybe she confinded in him she was starting to have more feelings the FWB would entail with you, and felt that you wouldn't date her and only wanted the sex thing. She couldn't go to you without ruining it if you laughed or refused. So she talked to another guy, and he told her to get fwb with other people, because they both felt that you wouldn't date her, and it was just a timebomb waiting to happen on her part of hurt feelings.

[Hobbs]

We communicate very well.

Apparently not, seeing as how this has gotten you.

I've been around for 25 years and have heard it called "hooking up." Next argument?

[Ree]

So, you guys DID read the part where I said her friend was telling her to quit because it'd hurt her chances to hook up with other guys, right?

No, I caught that.
I still say you are being rather offensive to her.

She knows what she wants...and it obviously isn't you

Give her some credit for that rather than assume she's being led around by others.

Also, as for your relief that she alerted you to the possibility that she wants to sleep around and put you at risk for STD's, are you saying that all along you expected her to be there as a FWB whenever you felt the urge, or another girl wasn't available, but she was supposed to keep herself only for you?

Gotta love a double standard.

[Greenday]

I don't get where you are coming up with these rude assumptions. Hooking up is just something we did. As long as we were doing stuff, we agreed not to do stuff with other people so we didn't risk each other catching anything. Not once did I ever even HINT at me doing stuff with other people while I was hooking up with her. Not once. You are so intent on proving me being a misogynist that you aren't even interpreting what I'm writing. The only thing I'm ranting about is how her friend for some unknown reason thought it was a good idea to tell her to stop doing stuff with me and to start doing stuff with other people. How this means I don't respect her decision/I don't think she can make decisions on her own/etc. I have no freaking clue.

As for her not wanting me, I'm fine with that. She just made it seem like it was her friend's idea which makes me wonder why he'd think it's a good idea.

And Hobbs, it obviously is a regional thing because no one in my area says hooking up for starting a relationship.

[Hobbs]

I don't get where you are coming up with these rude assumptions.

And Hobbs, it obviously is a regional thing because no one in my area says hooking up for starting a relationship.

Maybe because for the duration of your posts you've been having this "woe is me" attitude about not having your fuck-buddy. Nowhere except your last few posts have you entertained the idea that your friend is a sentient being with the ability to make up her own mind and to do with her body as she pleases.


Plaidman's heard it that way too...unless by "regional" you mean the continental United States.

[blas87]

I don't think you're necessarily being a misogynist, I just think the term "cock blocker" is being misused. It's not some drunk friend at a party getting in your way of you getting laid, it's a girl who decided to not be your sex buddy anymore.

Really, sex is not the most important thing in the world, and if you two were friends before or really are that close, it shouldn't be that big of a deal.

If her friend really did truly tell her to go be a slut and screw around, then they are both sluts and you're better off not sleeping with her anymore. But then again, if this is true and she's that easily swayed by her friends, do you want to be close to a girl who can't think for and make decisions for herself?

[Peppergirl]

Ok you guys, hang on.

I'm trying *really* hard not to take offense here, but not EVERYONE who is in a FWB relationship is secretly damaged or is always going to be wanting more.

In fact, I've engaged in exactly 2 of these types of relationships after I broke up with my ex, and in BOTH cases, it was the MAN who got attached and wanted more, not me. The first one actually moved away, but he was showing signs of being possessive, so I was relieved.

These have been 2 men within a little over a year period. Trust me, I'm not being arrogant or think I'm so wonderful that men just fall for me...I'm reasonably attractive and look okay for my age, but I'm certainly no model.

I am a 40 year old woman, and I am not interested in a relationship. This doesn't mean I'm not interested in sex. As long as both parties are in agreement, and there's no cheating going on, I see nothing wrong with it.

As far as Greenday - she changed her mind. It doesn't matter why, but she did. Enough said. But rest assured, not *all* of us on here think that FWB relationships are awful or signs that we're flawed.

[Plaidman]

Whoa Peppergirl. I never said it was bad. It can work. There are several several members here that do that, and don't get attached or anything like that and it's fine. Greenday can do that. However, we know nothing of this girl. She might have gotten attached to him and feared his rejection, she might right now have a boyfriend she didn't tell him about yet, or she might just not want to have sex. My only problem is that Greenday's anger at it all. He's angry at another person for telling his FWB to not have sex with him. I doubt very much that this one person is so easily swayed by it all oto refuse it. It not she damaged, or easily controled, it was a choice she made. We don't know what that reason is, and rather be angry at another person, maybe Greenday should fine out exactly why, without being angry, and treat her like the close friend he says she is, and learn the real reason. It won't be a overnight converstation, and it shouldn't be just like why no sex, but what's going on, is it really you want to have to have annoymas sex with others, do you not see the good thing this really is, or maybe it's a test on Greenday she doing. We don't know.


We seen FWB work. I've seen it work. I even tried it once, but it's... hard, and it was a one time deal which was made very clear. Was something she tried to help me get over alot of depression, and it didn't work.

[Peppergirl]

I know you didn't say it, Plaid - but others kinda did. I do appreciate you taking the time to comment.

I'll concede that perhaps I'm being overly sensitive. I'm working a shitload of OT this week and I'm absolutely exhausted.

I'll also admit that I occasionally wonder why I'm such an emotionally detached person. I've always been, to a certain extent - but I've gotten worse with age.

It does take a certain type of person to be in a FWB situation, that's for sure. It's no wonder that my male friends tell me I'm "a dude trapped in a chick's body".

[Plaidman]

It's fine Peppergirl. I'm sure that others didn't mean to imply anything horrible about people that do that, just not their cup of tea.


Emontionally distant huh? I'll trade you. I'm too emontional, though it's quickly dying as I get older and get more hurt by people of opposite sex.


Also: Not overly senstive. Just voicing your opinion, which is just as valid as anyone else that is here. That is the point of the place, right? We all love each other, even if we disagree on stuff.

[Hobbs]

Like Plaidman said. Other people might see fwb as something that works for them. For me, I cannot be intimate without having emotions involved. That's just not how I think/behave. So, while I may not ever get into a fwb relationship, I won't begrudge someone who does engage in it. My only qualm was that Greenday was making it sound as if she owed him something. I think even you can agree that such thinking is not right.