Cock Blocks

[blas87]

I hope I didn't offend you, Pepper, because I didn't mean to make it out that every girl who has a FWB is a slut or "lost".

It can work. It's not always a bad thing. Why I got so militant about the girl's right to change her mind was because of my own experience a few years ago, realizing what I wanted out of a guy. You also have to bear in mind that I was constantly used and expected to always be there for a guy, even though they never wanted more than sex from me, so I had plenty of leverage and reason to make that decision, and most could see why I am pretty against FWB, at least in my life.

[AdminAssistant]

It can work. It's not always a bad thing. Why I got so militant about the girl's right to change her mind was because of my own experience a few years ago, realizing what I wanted out of a guy. You also have to bear in mind that I was constantly used and expected to always be there for a guy, even though they never wanted more than sex from me, so I had plenty of leverage and reason to make that decision, and most could see why I am pretty against FWB, at least in my life.

Same for me. I can see how it can work, but I'm still not a fan of it, at least not anymore.

[McDreidel09]

Greenday, I can see where you are coming from here. Here's my understanding of the situation and why you feel the way you feel:

You have a FWB,with whom you also have the F part, just not the B part. She tells you that you two need to stop because a friend told her that doing stuff with you would hurt her chances of hooking up with a guy. Hooking up, by meaning the same thing that you are doing now, and not as in a relationship (never heard hook up as in relationship. I've heard hook up as in have sex or just hang out). Your frustration is that someone told her that and she was so easily swayed, that and sex is very VERY addicting and it's like a drug was taken away. Plus, it feels like someone is trying to have control over what happens with your sex life? Did I get it?

Trust me. I know the feeling. Just recently, I no longer have the benefits part with my FWB I have talked about before because people don't know how to mind their own business and made him feel guilty. The moment I found that out, I felt withdrawals and felt angry because it was like someone else was trying to have control over my body. I'm still friends with this guy. In fact, we saw The Last Airbender last night together and are planning to hang out again sometime soon.

Not all FWBs are just there for sex. My (now former) FWB is being there for me through some emotional stuff and has reassured me that I am good friend.

[Greenday]

My only qualm was that Greenday was making it sound as if she owed him something.

I have no idea where in MY posts you would get that idea from. Not once did I say she couldn't switch to other people. Not once did I say she has to do it with me. Nothing of the sort was mentioned.

You have a FWB,with whom you also have the F part, just not the B part. She tells you that you two need to stop because a friend told her that doing stuff with you would hurt her chances of hooking up with a guy. Hooking up, by meaning the same thing that you are doing now, and not as in a relationship (never heard hook up as in relationship. I've heard hook up as in have sex or just hang out). Your frustration is that someone told her that and she was so easily swayed, that and sex is very VERY addicting and it's like a drug was taken away. Plus, it feels like someone is trying to have control over what happens with your sex life? Did I get it?

For the most part, yea. I just know if she made this decision, whether or not someone else suggested it to her, it's her choice in the end and no one else's. But yea, it's people not involved in the situation sticking their nose where it sure as hell doesn't belong.

[Peppergirl]

My only qualm was that Greenday was making it sound as if she owed him something. I think even you can agree that such thinking is not right.

Indeed I would...but I didn't take what Greenday said as him feeling she owed him something.


And thanks Blas, the kind words. I do appreciate it.

[Hobbs]

I have no idea where in MY posts you would get that idea from. Not once did I say she couldn't switch to other people. Not once did I say she has to do it with me. Nothing of the sort was mentioned.

Your posts made it clear you were more than a might 'sore when she a'mentioned you'd be best lookin' elsewhere.

[blas87]

Not a problem. I realized I had came across as really harsh before, so I felt I'd better explain why it was such a no no to me in my own life. Not every FWB relationship is the guy taking and taking or expecting the girl to always be there for their sexual needs. But mine and Admin's were, that's why we just avoid those types of relationships.

[smileyeagle1021]

I thought the terms "hook up" and "date" were quite interchangeable, at least in the initial stages of "courtship".

Umm, not as interchangable as you might think... I've always heard it conextually, if you "hook up for (insert activity here)" then, yes interchangable, but just "hook up" has always, in my experience, meant a NSA sexual encounter.

That said, I can kind of see where Greenday is coming from. Cockblock is not the right term, but I do see a legitimate complaint if her friend tried to coerce her to break it off and pressured her. I've been there with my fiance, about 6 months ago one of his friends tried to pull the "choose smiley or us" ploy, so yes, I know how infuriating someone else meddling in your relationship can be.
That said, we do not know if that is the situation that Greenday's friend was in.

As to the debate of FWB, I've done casual sex once... it was fun, but it was empty. Many people are satisfied with fun but empty, and some people may not find it empty... but everyone has the right to decide that they are no longer interested (hence the other term for it, No Strings Attached).

[Plaidman]

Some people can have causal sex and have it mean something. I've know people capable of that. Incredibly emontional and loving people with incredible sense of willpower. I couldn't do that. Far too emontionally weak.


Yeah, people who do that whole 'it's us or him'. Most people I know that do that, do not get the answer they want. Even if it's the person's boyfriend/girlfriend.

Unless of course that person is just that much in love, in which case, yeah, they'll do what they say. It's very random and strange.


Seriously. Why do relationships have to be the most diffiuclt thing to get, and extremely difficult to keep? It's like, hey, you gotta be extremely happy and positive and never get angry or pissed off, yet always be there for the other person when they need it. The older you get, the more mature your suppose to be in relationships, but if you don't ever have them growing up or go years apart between them, how do you get any experence to begin with?

[Peppergirl]

ok - I'll admit something...but only cuz' I've had some wine, I'm over worked this week, and I'm tired.

The FWB thing is fine, GREAT for me right now. And it's provided some ok sex, mediocre sex, and really GREAT sex.

But the best, most intense sex I've ever had was with my ex fiance, whom I consider the only man I've ever truly, deeply loved with all my heart.

And I was married for 15 years!

So yeah, even for us ice queens, and/or other people who are capable of emotionally shutting down...some of us realize that the truly BEST sex is when you're head-over-heels in love with the person.

And yes, this is really me - no one has stolen my PC or broken into my account.

[Plaidman]

So jealous of you Peppergirl.


I won't ever be that kinda guy. I suck at that deal. Horrid at sex. Like, girls fall asleep during it. Let alone ever had girl that in love with me.



So jealous.

[AdminAssistant]

But the best, most intense sex I've ever had was with my ex fiance, whom I consider the only man I've ever truly, deeply loved with all my heart.

And I was married for 15 years!

So yeah, even for us ice queens, and/or other people who are capable of emotionally shutting down...some of us realize that the truly BEST sex is when you're head-over-heels in love with the person.

Amen, Pepper, Amen. When the bf and I got together, we were both surprised and just how good the sex was, and we realized it's because we're crazy for each other, and that transfers over to sex. Plus, there's a certain level of trust when you're in a committed relationship with someone.

And, seriously, FRIDAY. Soooo ready to see my love, give him a hug and a kiss, and rip his pants off.

[McDreidel09]

Damn. I must be a weirdo. The best I've had didn't come from a boyfriend. It came from a friend (the one that used to be my FWB). We do care about each other and love another, but just not in the romantic sense. I guess it's because he was into the same kinks I am, like whips, chains,handcuffs, paddles,ballgags, nipple clamps, hot wax, him being in charge, hairpulling, biting, etc. Honestly, I never felt more alive than when I was blindfolded and didn't know when that whip was going to hit me or when that candlewax was going to drop on me.

And THAT is the sexual compatibility I have been talking about.

[AdminAssistant]

Ah, and on the other hand McD, I didn't feel comfortable exploring any kinks with anyone else but my current bf. It's...well, it's good, and we'll leave it at that.

[blas87]

I think the reason the sex with my bf is the best I've ever had is because we've never, not for a moment, stopped being attracted to one another. We were two crazy kids the night we met and it never stopped.