Fat people

[NodmiTheSellout]

Food for thought: Being obese is often linked to poverty, because it's easier to afford foods that will make you fat than it is to afford to eat healthily, particularly when time is an issue. If obesity were some sort of gluttonous character flaw as frequently as people like to pretend it is, wouldn't more infamously rich people be immensely, helplessly fat? Accepting that the above is true (a VERY SHORT Google search will show you plenty of evidence, I'm not doing it for you), then it is difficult for people to afford new clothes as their weight increases. Also, these people do not exist for your consumption, they do not exist to be attractive by your standards, and have no obligation to dress in clothes that are uncomfortable or that they simply don't like just because you find their body type "gross". I'm pretty fat (5'5'', 190 or so), and for years I wouldn't wear shorts or skirts that came above the knee because it's "gross". . .but you know what? Fuck 'em. I came into possession of a couple pairs of hand-me-down shorts and they're comfortable in this damnedable ninety degree heat. Plenty of people walk around with ugly makeup, or tattoos, and I don't give them looks like "how fucking DARE you exist in public!".

I admit that my progressive views don't extend to stinkiness though. . .maybe I'm brainwashed by deodorant companies or whatever, but I can't stand stinkiness. I work at a grocery store, though, and of my top five "GOD YOU STINK" people, only two of them are noticeably overweight. Anyway, the only time I stink is if I forgot to put on deodorant, which is extremely rare. I mean maybe if you shoved your face in my boobs or crotch I'd stink, but, well, it's your own damn fault then. :P So the "fat people stink" thing isn't really fair. . .probably you just live in a "low class" (character, not poverty level) neighborhood. If I'm putting stinky people into groups, more of them come from a particular area code (I often need to ask for phone numbers to look up discount card numbers) than come from a particular poverty level or body type.

[Plaidman]

. I mean maybe if you shoved your face in my boobs or crotch I'd stink, but, well, it's your own damn fault then. :P

.... There are such things as a good stinky.....?? Not that that smells, just making it a point that unless you never ever wash, then no reason that doesn't smell normal, which is meant to arouse.


Well... I like that smell in anycase.


I'll shut up now.

[KnitShoni]

.... There are such things as a good stinky.....?? Not that that smells, just making it a point that unless you never ever wash, then no reason that doesn't smell normal, which is meant to arouse.


Well... I like that smell in anycase.


I'll shut up now.

Why shut up? I was thinking the same thing.

[Plaidman]

Why shut up? I was thinking the same thing.

Why shut up? It's hard enough for me to even get girls to look at me. No reason to act like I know what I'm talking about with my extremly limited experence in that area of smelling.

[KnitShoni]

Why shut up? It's hard enough for me to even get girls to look at me. No reason to act like I know what I'm talking about with my extremly limited experence in that area of smelling.

Um...ok...sorry.

[NodmiTheSellout]

Believe me, the smells that come from sweaty cleavage or lady crotch aren't always alluring--and for many people all it takes is skipping a shower, or sleeping one summer night without air conditioning. Of course I wouldn't go so far as to encourage douching or whatever, that's just "YOUR BODY IS DISGUSTING" shaming crap, but yeah. . .you're imagining this in a bit of a starry-eyed way I think, haha.

[Plaidman]

but yeah. . .you're imagining this in a bit of a starry-eyed way I think, haha.

Indeed. Most people think it's hilarious of me to have a starry-eye view on women. Followed by reminders that it's all I'll ever have.

So yeah. Laugh at me all you want. No real difference from reality instead of being online. I may be repulsive by women, but I at the very least deserve to at least dream that one day I'll be able to not repulse a girl, and you know, date and have a girlfriend that likes me far more then just a friend.

Um...ok...sorry.

Why? It's not your fault. It falls solely on how I look, which can't exactly change over night. Falls on my physically deformalities, which again, can't exactly change overnight. Even if I could, it's a very very good chance it'll revert since it's part of my genes. Falls lastely on my fianically problems, which since I can barely walk most days, lack of education, isn't going to change overnight ether. Even if I become super rich, super intelligent, and super phyiscally attractive, I still wouldn't be able to get past friend stage.

[Ree]

There's nothing that's more of a turnoff to women than insecurity and pity parties.

[Plaidman]

There's nothing that's more of a turnoff to women than insecurity and pity parties.

Very true. So the biggest advice people has ever given me, "be yourself" never held any water. So only way to attract others, is to not be yourself, which can ultimately just crash and burn when it does come out, that you are not the way your faking.

Faking security and positivity will come off as fake and adnormal.

Ultimately, it just means in order to find love, you cannot be yourself. So really, the people that /love/ you, love an illusion that you cast, rather then yourself.

[Lace Neil Singer]

Also, I'm hardly model material; yet I managed to land a guy. Why? Personality and making the best of myself, which is what everyone is able to do.

Food for thought: Being obese is often linked to poverty, because it's easier to afford foods that will make you fat than it is to afford to eat healthily, particularly when time is an issue.

Also, if a person is miserable, they could well eat more than someone who is happy. In other words, being covered with other people's scorn and contempt for the way they look will just make them eat more. In any case, just why do some people feel that they have to judge others? What gives them the right? Unless said fat person is coming up to you and rolling over you, then stfu.

As for stinky people, I will say this. In my job, over all the years I've been working, I've encountered several stinky people... and believe me, not all are fat. A lot are skinny; they're usually the tramps, stoners or chavs. There have been a few fat people who are smelly, but the vast majority of overweight people who I serve don't smell at all. People are all different, and it's the height of ignorance to lump all of one type together and say they're all the same.

[Greenday]

Faking security and positivity will come off as fake and adnormal.

At first it does, but as you keep doing it, you no longer are faking it. It becomes real.

At least that's how it worked for me. I was always nervous, never outgoing. Finally, especially in my senior year, I decided that it was stupid to act like that. I started getting louder. You know how when a teacher asks a question in class and no one answers? I answered. Confidently. Yea, sometimes I was wrong. But usually not. But people noticed it. I talked to people at the end of each semester this year and they would not believe I wasn't an outgoing person. I ended up getting a lot more female attention than I did before and it's awesome.

[NodmiTheSellout]

Indeed. Most people think it's hilarious of me to have a starry-eye view on women. Followed by reminders that it's all I'll ever have.

So yeah. Laugh at me all you want. No real difference from reality instead of being online. I may be repulsive by women, but I at the very least deserve to at least dream that one day I'll be able to not repulse a girl, and you know, date and have a girlfriend that likes me far more then just a friend.

Well, the thing with that is, it's not that it's hilarious, it's a bit dehumanizing. Like women are some different species incapable of being gross, or something. On one level it's sort of cute, on another it's just. . .like I said, dehumanizing. No matter the pedestal I'm put on in the process, I don't really like that, it's weird and not flattering at all.

So I'd say in your case, maybe "be yourself" isn't good advice so much as "examine the way you think about women, and remember that every woman you talk to is a human being, just like you are, and you have more in common than not".

On topic--yes, the bit about people being miserable due to how they're mocked for their weight, and turning to food, is valid. . .though it's not really uh. . .I mean, I can't get behind advice that amounts to "stop shaming the fatties, you're only making them fatter!" It adds to the really ridiculous "anti fat" sentiment. Blah, I can't really articulate what I mean. But, advice about being kind shouldn't have a driving force as mean-spirited as policing other people's body type. It doesn't help people who think it's their place to tell people what to do with their bodies, it just shuts them up.

[Lace Neil Singer]

On topic--yes, the bit about people being miserable due to how they're mocked for their weight, and turning to food, is valid. . .though it's not really uh. . .I mean, I can't get behind advice that amounts to "stop shaming the fatties, you're only making them fatter!" It adds to the really ridiculous "anti fat" sentiment. Blah, I can't really articulate what I mean. But, advice about being kind shouldn't have a driving force as mean-spirited as policing other people's body type. It doesn't help people who think it's their place to tell people what to do with their bodies, it just shuts them up.

I never said anything of the sort; just that a doctor saying, brutally, to an obese woman, "Quit eating or you're going to die," is a hell of a lot different to some nasty person shouting, "Stinky fattie! Lose some weight, fatso!" It's not about so called "stop shaming fatties", more about not being a bully.

In any case, a lot of the people who say stuff like that really ought to take a good hard look at themselves. We all have faults, so none of us really has any right to make spiteful comments about someone's body.

[Racket_Man]

I never said anything of the sort; just that a doctor saying, brutally, to an obese woman, "Quit eating or you're going to die," is a hell of a lot different to some nasty person shouting, "Stinky fattie! Lose some weight, fatso!" It's not about so called "stop shaming fatties", more about not being a bully.

.

you would be surprised at the number of Doctors that try the bully line (and try and be funny to boot) and yes I have relevant experience with that (not me but my Ex)

[Lace Neil Singer]

Any doctor who tried that with me would soon find that I'd find another doctor.

A doctor I used to have tried to tell me that my excema was self inflicted at best, all in my mind at worst. I was only ten years old at the time; however, both my mother and I decided that we weren't going to go to this doctor any more, so we changed surgeries and found a doctor who prescribed a steroid cream. I eventually grew out of it, thankfully.