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I'll be the first to admit that my MIL isn't as bad as some of the ones who I've heard about, especially here and on CS, and I by no means actually hate her. But she does bother me a good deal and I just wanted to vent about it.
I don't know my MIL very well. I met her for the first time last Christmas, when my husband and I flew to her house for about 3 days around the holiday. I can tell why my husband lives a long ways from her and why he doesn't keep in touch with her very much. She had her very sweet, nice moments, but she also had her moments when she treated my husband, who was 27 at the time, like a child.
The first day we were there, she started teasing my husband about his weight. My husband is absolutely by no means fat; I don't even think he's overweight, though I'm not sure if he is considered overweight clinically (he's about 190-195lbs and is 6 feet tall.) However, when my husband was in high school and college, he was an absolute bean pole. He's probably put on 20-30 pounds since he graduated college and has a job and can afford to eat real food instead of ramen every day. I think he wears the weight well. Like I said, he is by no means fat, and I think the extra weight helps him look "fuller" and over all really good. I prefer him at this weight rather than when he was so skinny. He probably put on a little more weight (nothing significant, a few pounds I'd say) since I moved in with him since I cook about 5 times a week, and my MIL picked up on this fact immediately and started teasing my husband about how well his wife was treating him and how he obviously has been eating well, etc. She said it in a rather condescending tone and then would laugh about it, like she was joking, but I could still tell it was bothering my husband, especially because she said it multiple times and brought it up to other family members.
On Christmas Day, MIL was hosting dinner for a bunch of the relatives. She wasn't actually doing much of the cooking; her daughter (my husband's sister) was making all the side dishes and I was making all the desserts. MIL was only making the turkey itself, which really isn't that hard if you don't have 8 other things going on at the same time. However, as people started arriving in the afternoon, she seemed to get more and more stressed (not sure why, since most of them were entertaining themselves and each other) and she finally snapped at my husband. It started when she made yet another joke/comment about my husband's weight to one of the relatives who had arrived, and my husband got a sour look on his face. MIL said something to the effect of, "Yeah, I know, I'm really annoying you by bringing that up, aren't I?" My husband managed to say "Yeah," before she continued, very angrily, "Well, don't you start with me, boy, because I am NOT in the mood to be putting up with your shit today, I don't need whatever you have to say to me on top of everything else that's going on."
I just about lost it with her. I had to drag my husband back to the spare bedroom that we were staying in before we both let loose on her. We didn't come out again until dinner was served, at which point MIL was perfectly sweet and charming again but never offered any words of apology for anything that she had said. I was really angry that she had spoken to my husband like he was 5 (especially calling him "boy") and had the gall to get mad at him for being upset over her teasing him constantly.
MIL arrived today to visit us for a few days (thankfully she is not staying with us, although she keeps saying how excited she is to move in with us after she retires. When we showed her around our new house for the first time this evening, she kept making comments like, "Is this going to be my room?" and "Oh look at the wonderful deck where I can drink coffee, and back yard where I can grow a garden!" I'm pretty sure she's joking, but it's somewhat unnerving all the same.) While we were eating dinner, talk turned to my husband's work. He is a computer programmer/analyst for a rather large company, and he also recently got offered a position teaching one computer programming-related class at a small tech school in the area. He's very excited about the teaching position; he eventually wants to go back to get his PhD in computer science and teach at the university level, and this is a great little introductory for him, since he's never taught before.
Eventually I asked my husband if he had mentioned the teaching job to his mom (he hasn't gotten it officially, so he hasn't really told too many people about it.) He hadn't, so he started to explain it to her. When he was done, she offered no words of encouragement or congratulations. Instead, she heaved a deep sigh, and said, "Well, just remember that the students aren't going to be as good as you want them to be." She went on to say how my husband is going to have to slow down the pace of his teaching to meet the class's requirement, and that he's going to get disappointed and frustrated with the students and the class in general. And, that it's not very rewarding because it's only a part-time job at a tech college and he's going to be putting in a lot of hours getting lesson plans ready and grading assignments, and the pay won't be worth it. Finally, I said, "Well, I think it's a great opportunity for him, since he wants to teach someday," and she sighed again and said, "I suppose."
I was rather put-off by her utterly pessimistic attitude about the whole thing. When I told my mom about my husband's potential teaching job, she was thrilled and wished my husband luck, etc. My MIL is a high school math teacher, so I don't know if it's just her own experiences weighing in, but jeez. Show a little encouragement for your kid. She never once said congratulations, good luck, etc.
Anyway, that's all. Sorry it got so long. Just needed to get some of this off my chest.
I don't know my MIL very well. I met her for the first time last Christmas, when my husband and I flew to her house for about 3 days around the holiday. I can tell why my husband lives a long ways from her and why he doesn't keep in touch with her very much. She had her very sweet, nice moments, but she also had her moments when she treated my husband, who was 27 at the time, like a child.
The first day we were there, she started teasing my husband about his weight. My husband is absolutely by no means fat; I don't even think he's overweight, though I'm not sure if he is considered overweight clinically (he's about 190-195lbs and is 6 feet tall.) However, when my husband was in high school and college, he was an absolute bean pole. He's probably put on 20-30 pounds since he graduated college and has a job and can afford to eat real food instead of ramen every day. I think he wears the weight well. Like I said, he is by no means fat, and I think the extra weight helps him look "fuller" and over all really good. I prefer him at this weight rather than when he was so skinny. He probably put on a little more weight (nothing significant, a few pounds I'd say) since I moved in with him since I cook about 5 times a week, and my MIL picked up on this fact immediately and started teasing my husband about how well his wife was treating him and how he obviously has been eating well, etc. She said it in a rather condescending tone and then would laugh about it, like she was joking, but I could still tell it was bothering my husband, especially because she said it multiple times and brought it up to other family members.
On Christmas Day, MIL was hosting dinner for a bunch of the relatives. She wasn't actually doing much of the cooking; her daughter (my husband's sister) was making all the side dishes and I was making all the desserts. MIL was only making the turkey itself, which really isn't that hard if you don't have 8 other things going on at the same time. However, as people started arriving in the afternoon, she seemed to get more and more stressed (not sure why, since most of them were entertaining themselves and each other) and she finally snapped at my husband. It started when she made yet another joke/comment about my husband's weight to one of the relatives who had arrived, and my husband got a sour look on his face. MIL said something to the effect of, "Yeah, I know, I'm really annoying you by bringing that up, aren't I?" My husband managed to say "Yeah," before she continued, very angrily, "Well, don't you start with me, boy, because I am NOT in the mood to be putting up with your shit today, I don't need whatever you have to say to me on top of everything else that's going on."
I just about lost it with her. I had to drag my husband back to the spare bedroom that we were staying in before we both let loose on her. We didn't come out again until dinner was served, at which point MIL was perfectly sweet and charming again but never offered any words of apology for anything that she had said. I was really angry that she had spoken to my husband like he was 5 (especially calling him "boy") and had the gall to get mad at him for being upset over her teasing him constantly.
MIL arrived today to visit us for a few days (thankfully she is not staying with us, although she keeps saying how excited she is to move in with us after she retires. When we showed her around our new house for the first time this evening, she kept making comments like, "Is this going to be my room?" and "Oh look at the wonderful deck where I can drink coffee, and back yard where I can grow a garden!" I'm pretty sure she's joking, but it's somewhat unnerving all the same.) While we were eating dinner, talk turned to my husband's work. He is a computer programmer/analyst for a rather large company, and he also recently got offered a position teaching one computer programming-related class at a small tech school in the area. He's very excited about the teaching position; he eventually wants to go back to get his PhD in computer science and teach at the university level, and this is a great little introductory for him, since he's never taught before.
Eventually I asked my husband if he had mentioned the teaching job to his mom (he hasn't gotten it officially, so he hasn't really told too many people about it.) He hadn't, so he started to explain it to her. When he was done, she offered no words of encouragement or congratulations. Instead, she heaved a deep sigh, and said, "Well, just remember that the students aren't going to be as good as you want them to be." She went on to say how my husband is going to have to slow down the pace of his teaching to meet the class's requirement, and that he's going to get disappointed and frustrated with the students and the class in general. And, that it's not very rewarding because it's only a part-time job at a tech college and he's going to be putting in a lot of hours getting lesson plans ready and grading assignments, and the pay won't be worth it. Finally, I said, "Well, I think it's a great opportunity for him, since he wants to teach someday," and she sighed again and said, "I suppose."
I was rather put-off by her utterly pessimistic attitude about the whole thing. When I told my mom about my husband's potential teaching job, she was thrilled and wished my husband luck, etc. My MIL is a high school math teacher, so I don't know if it's just her own experiences weighing in, but jeez. Show a little encouragement for your kid. She never once said congratulations, good luck, etc.
Anyway, that's all. Sorry it got so long. Just needed to get some of this off my chest.
I'm just glad we don't have (and are not planning to have) kids. 
For some reason this just struck me as terribly rude....you OFFERED to make dinner, and they just expect you to save food you paid for and spent time making? Seems pretty presumptuous to me. And I'll chime in with everyone else and say NO to the moving in. Even if it's a joke, I would flip out on that lady if she even mentioned it again.
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