But I can't be a....

[The Shadow]

Why is it that whenever someone is called on their bigotry or intolerance they often come up with this sort of shoddy defense...

"Racist? I can't be a racist...I have black friends!"

or " I can't be a racist...I'm in an inter-racial marriage!"

or "I don't hate women/men, I LOVE them1" (note: saying you love an entire demographic of people is about on the same level of smart as saying you hate them.)

or

"Homphobe? Me? That's ridiculous...I'm not AFRAID of homosexuals!"

Anyone else notice this? My own experience is that nine times out of ten, when someone falls back on one of these defenses, they usually confirm that they ARE in fact what they deny being.

[KnitShoni]

Another one is, "Black people can't be racist because they don't have the power to oppress others."

And yes, it IS a shoddy defense. Usually, the person saying that is trying to clean up something they've said that is discriminatory.

[Boozy]

"Racist? I can't be a racist...I have black friends!"

I hate this one, because I have a feeling that these people have offended their black friends on more than one occasion with some racist comment, and weren't made aware of it.

That's if they have black friends. I'd love to ask the black people these people know if they consider themselves "friends". I'll bet you'd be more likely to get a response like, "Who? Oh, that guy. Yeah, I say hello to him in the elevator every morning." Hardly a friendship based on mutual respect and deep understanding.

[HYHYBT]

Since you mentioned it, "homophobe" is a problematic word. Those who use it have expanded its meaning from only fear to covering anyone who dislikes gays* or believes we're immoral (because otherwise there is no word both specific and broad enough), while those it's applied to insist on the stricter definition. Meanwhile, it literally would be "fear of the same," which is the opposite of what it describes.

Besides which, whether it accurately describes someone or not, it never helps to say so. At least not in direct conversation; it's sometimes necessary in describing one person to another.

[Jack]

When someone insists so vehemently that they aren't "racist" it tells me that they're trying to deny their normal judgments of people based on their own experience. I don't like most of the Hispanics I know because most of the ones I know are loud and rude and give me no reason to like them. It doesn't mean I dislike all Hispanic people or that I'm somehow blinded by this dislike into some rabid racism, but at the same time I don't pretend to be all happyhappyjoyjoy lovingly kind and caring to every damn person on the planet and I'll readily admit I don't like these people no matter what color they are. Some might think this is "racist" and these are exactly the sorts of people who would hide exactly the same sentiment within themselves and deny it, preferring to pretend that they're perfectly comfortable with the odd, unfamiliar, and irritating practices of foreign-derived neighbors.

Things would be much easier if we could all be honest with ourselves.

[Gerrinson]

Depends on the basis of the accusation. I've never actually been called a racist in a situation where I think it was appropriate. The only two I recall are these:

Example 1: My friend, who is Jewish, came to a party at our house and spent about half an hour telling the most horrific Jew jokes I'd ever heard. Then, I made the mistake of telling a Jew joke back to him. He flipped and accused me of being racist.

I then pointed out that if you don't want to hear Jew jokes, don't spend all your time telling them. As your friend, that tells me we can joke about these things with you. He has since gotten over it and he has cut waaaay back on the jokes.

Am I racist against Jews? I don't believe so. Can I, in the company of friends, laugh at something horrifically off color? Absolutely.

Example 2: A white co-worker, upon learning that I basically loathe rap in all forms told me that I was racist.

Because if you don't like rap, you hate black people.

I told her she was racist against white people for not liking country music. Sadly, only one of us got my point...

In summation: I don't think that I am racist. I do, however, hate stupid and/or entitlement in all shades and colors. Sadly, in my area, it tends to run very strong in the minorities who mostly grow up living off welfare, frequent unemployment, etc. and the parents who do so instill the same values (or lack thereof) in their children. And, of course, there is always the way companies bend over backwards in the face of 'the race card'. Curse you managerial prequisite spinectomies!

But please know, I don't hate you because of your skin tone. I hate you on principle.

[Red Panda]

Sometimes people get accused of racist or whatever when they aren't and they do have to give examples of the contrary. If you make a statement about race that is depnent on what you see when hanging out with your friends fo that race then isn't it okay to say "I've got these friends who are that race"

[KnitShoni]

Because if you don't like rap, you hate black people.

Oh, dear god. I hate black people.

[Mongo Skruddgemire]

I am not racist.

I'm not.

What I am is wary of anyone who doesn't act like they want to belong within civilized society.

Example: If I see anyone looking like a gang-banger, I will be mistrustful of them based on a primary, initial identification. This could be someone who is black, latino, asian, white...doesn't matter. If I see someone who is skulking around looking like they're about to commit a crime...I'm walking to the other side of the street.

If someone later comes up to me and says "Oh him? Nah, he just dresses that way. He's actually a good guy." then I'll be more inclined to get to know him.

But that's the problem. I can't in polite society say "I don't hate [race], I just hate those who act like [racial stereotypical slur]", as soon as I say that I hate a member of [race], it is assumed that I must hate all members of that race and therefore a racist.

And it's the same for other areas as well. I can't say "I do not like Bob because he acts like a complete douchebag." because someone who knows that Bob is [insert race/political leaning/gender/sexual orientation/religious beliefs here] will jump up, creaming their jeans because they found another bigot and can point their fingers and sing "Neener, Neener, Neener, you're a bigot and I'm not!"

I'm not racist. I just think that all humanity needs to be slapped upside the goddamn head with a clue-by-four.

[Plaidman]

Oh, dear god. I hate black people.

Ditto.

I wonder if this means that racists automatically hate all music, seeing as it's all been made by other races. Well, except maybe classical piano music.



I'm guilty of using the above though. I've been called racist over carding people, or refusing them sell of beer because they are drunk.

Then I just tell them go tell my my brother that. Or hell, my stepmom. I'm sure they'll laugh at that. Or half my family even.

I don't consider myself racist at all. I do consider myself a very bitter and hateful person in general to a vast majority of people, unless they haven't done anything to warrent that. (Which, lately, few have done so. Though growing up, and working, most people have proven time and time again they aren't deserving of any respect from me, any help, or an ounce of kindness)

[DrFaroohk]

Sometimes I like to impersonate an inner city gangsta accent. "Yo yo muthaf*cka" and what not. People call me racist against blacks. How is an accent racist? There is no way an accent can be racist! It's a regional thing, not a race thing.

Unless you're saying that ALL black people talk with an inner city gangsta accent, and in that case...you're calling ME racist????

[Jack]

I've met white people who really do talk like that. It's not a black thing so much as it's an urban thing. Still kind of funny to hear from certain people.

[blas87]

I hate when anyone speaks in gangster talk. It sounds uneducated and trashy. When any person of any race talks like that.

[KnitShoni]

I hate when anyone speaks in gangster talk. It sounds uneducated and trashy. When any person of any race talks like that.

Thank you. People do it because they think it makes them sound "cool" when it really only makes them sound ignorant.

[Plaidman]

Thank you. People do it because they think it makes them sound "cool" when it really only makes them sound ignorant.

Wha~!? You betta recoginize! It's the shizniz bia-otch!

Me and homeboys are going to have ta pop ya ass onna drive by!