People who use bullying as a justification

[Red Panda]

I hate it when people who were bullied use it as a justification for their own violence. There was a thread on Customers Suck where a person casually mentioned that they were unfairly expelled because they threatened a bully with a gun.

In my mind there is no reason to respond to violence with a greater amount of violence outside of self defense or war. Being bullied sucks but premeditated crimes are also wrong. I see alot of people justify assaults by saying they were bullied, either by that person or in the past, and that is plain wrong.

If you are threatened and you defend yourself then great. If you are called names so a week later you threaten to murder the person then you are on the same level as them, if not worse.


I'm not going to link to the topic that made me make this one because I don't want to look like I am provoking or calling out that individual. My feelings are not to any person in paticular but rather a group

[Mikkel]

I don't know, if you are desperate enough, and that is what prolonged bullying does to you, it may seem that any change will be for the better and to see the bully cringe, just once, is worth the risk of being expelled. I can understand that.
To extrapolate from being bullied and build ones entire world view on violence and injustice is something of a non sequitur. There are good in the world too and sometimes a bully or even a murderer can learn better.

[Boozy]

Red Panda was very careful to avoid naming any specific incident when she started this thread, and frankly, that was a smart idea. I don't want a debate about any one particular member in this situation. Nothing but personal attacks and hurt feelings will result.

However, there's potential for a good debate here. Let's stick to speaking in generalities, please. What do you think about meeting violence with violence? Is bullying a justification for violence? Can it be considered self-defense?

Personal stories are okay to share, but remember that if you present them, they become a debatable topic. Don't bring it up if you're going to get offended by someone questioning your actions.

[Rageaholic]

I think it depends. Threatening people with death over being called names does not justify such an extreme responce, but if they are threatening you with violence, unprovoked, they are fighting dirty. Why should they be allowed to fight dirty, but not the ones they are bullying? Death threats are extreme, but then again, if they are threatening you with death, and no one is stopping them, why should you have to sit there and take it?

[Lace Neil Singer]

I once punched a bully who came up to me and scratched my face. I not only hit her once, but hit her til she fell down. She started the fight; not my fault that she couldn't finish what she started. I got suspended for a week for fighting; I expected that. However, the bully got no punishment at all, cuz, to quote the headmaster, "she was worse hurt".

That was crap. She was only hurt at all cuz she picked a fight with me in the first place. In this instance, fighting back was the only thing that worked; after I started doing that, the bullies finally left me alone. True, I was ignored and excluded by the other kids and had to be isolated from them by the teachers, but all the ignoring and walking away from the bullies hadn't done fuck all.

If people don't want bullied kids to use violence against their bullies, then perhaps they ought to think about taking steps to prevent bullying and to deal with it once it starts.

[Hobbs]

I never punched a bully Lace. Each time I was threatened I was able to talk them down, find an escape or, in the extreme instances, use pressure-points to defend myself. Once the 'tough' kids saw me bring someone to their knees with a well-placed hold, I wasn't bothered. In middle school, I tutored a football player that provided security for me. So there are alternatives to fighting. Like the old saying, "Work smarter; not harder."

[smileyeagle1021]

There was an incident when I was growing up, where a girl on a school bus pulled another girl's hair and that girl turned around and slammed the first girl's head into the window. Everyone made a noise about how terrible it was that she would go off with such slight provocation.
Then it came out that the first girl had been doing stuff like that for months on end (since the beginning of the school year), the second girl reported it to the bus driver, bus driver did nothing, reported it to her teacher, teacher did nothing, reported it to the vice principle, ditto, reported it to the principal, ditto. NO ONE did anything to stop the tormenting. After several months of no one helping her, I'd say it was entirely appropriate for her to finally take it into her own hands. And you know what, the first girl never again bullied anyone else.
Sadly, it used to be common knowledge, but it's been lost in our oh so sensitive culture that the only way to deal with a bully was for someone to finally beat the shit out of them and put them in their place.

[Greenday]

Meh, responding with violence like a good punch in the face is a reasonable response in my opinion.

But when you start talking about killing them, it's going too far. Shit, I'd pray for the cops to be called if someone threatened that and I heard it.

[Hobbs]

Sadly, it used to be common knowledge, but it's been lost in our oh so sensitive culture that the only way to deal with a bully was for someone to finally beat the shit out of them and put them in their place.

Actually, you illustrated ways to deal with a bully in your post. Inform the authorities. Now, in your instance no one intervened, but by reforming the way administration handles bullying (seen by the passing of anti-bullying laws) then we can have authority figures step in and prevent the escalation, dole out non-corporal, punitive actions.

[Lace Neil Singer]

I never punched a bully Lace. Each time I was threatened I was able to talk them down, find an escape or, in the extreme instances, use pressure-points to defend myself. Once the 'tough' kids saw me bring someone to their knees with a well-placed hold, I wasn't bothered. In middle school, I tutored a football player that provided security for me. So there are alternatives to fighting. Like the old saying, "Work smarter; not harder."

Might work with boys, but not necessarily with girls. In any case, these girls hated me for being clever, having big boobs and talking to boys. Talking them down wouldn't have worked at all; in fact, it didn't. They only responded to violence, but it never would have come to that if the head had done his job properly. The bullies were never punished, the school did nothing.

[Red Panda]

Even if the school does nothing I never understood why people who claim to be violently bullied on a regular basis never contacted the police. They have more authority then the school.

[Amanita]

In my case, I never contacted the police, because I didn't know I had the right to. I was picked on all to hell through jr high school, and the teachers and guidance councillor were indifferent and/or ineffective. My guidance councillor told me to act the chameleon- don't ever do, say, or wear anything that might be attention-getting in any way. Basically, don't be me. And also, to say "good morning" to people, as if that would magically make them like me.

I didn't know I had the right to appeal to any higher authority, that anyone outside the school would take things seriously. Even though I was being called names, having my stuff stolen and vandalized, and even borderline sexually harrassed. If being shoved against a locker by two boys trying to kiss me wasn't an attempted sexual assault, I don't know what is. Thank heavens I got away. I wish I had the knowlege then that I do now- how to seriously injure somebody if need be. Perhaps leaving one or two tormentors screaming and bloodied might have convinced the rest that I was not to be fucked with, or at least was not worth the trouble.

I really don't like the term "bullying". It sounds so cutesy, so childish. Let's call it what it is- emotional and psychological abuse, assault, vandalism, harrassment. Not so cute or "kids being kids" anymore, is it?

[Plaidman]

This is of course police would have done anything. Mine were told they needed to personally witness it, and not just take my word for it. As then any one could just say they were bullied.

[Red Panda]

I would think anything involving bodily harm or theft would require them to investigate no matter what. Its not like they have to witness adults being robbed or assaulted.

[muses_nightmare]

I would think anything involving bodily harm or theft would require them to investigate no matter what. Its not like they have to witness adults being robbed or assaulted.

Emphasis on adults. A lot of the time, police won`t take a child or teen`s complaints seriously simply because they think of it as `kids being kids`or because they don`t think a crime is being committed.