People who use bullying as a justification

[Greenday]

Even if the school does nothing I never understood why people who claim to be violently bullied on a regular basis never contacted the police. They have more authority then the school.

Probably because cops don't give a crap about bullying in schools. They have better stuff to do like "cruising around" and God knows what in a town where the worst crime is generally a stolen bike.

Also, a lot of times the police treat schools like a separate jurisdiction. The school is the force who regulates what goes on in the school and the cops regulate everything outside of it.

[smileyeagle1021]

Red, what makes you think that a child would know that they can go to the police, much less be aware of how to file a police report?
And, for those who do go to the police, what makes you think they'll take a kid seriously? I know that the one time I tried to go to the cops they referred me back to the school, the same school that had told me there was nothing they could do... yeah, as if that if going to help anybody.

[Lace Neil Singer]

I didn't even know about going to the police. In any case, I doubt they would have taken it seriously.

[guywithashovel]

A lot of times, reports of bullying do get downplayed and poopooed. That's probably why some kids who are bullied lash out like they do. That's not to justify extremes like killing people, though.

To some extent, I reject this notion that people should never react with force because it's "swooping to the other person's level" or "we need to rise above it all." During my life, I've come to the conclusion that sometimes swooping to the other person's level (if that's what you want to call it) is necessary. The people who do this stuff aren't completely civilized and are likely not going to understand anything else other than their own medicine.

I also think the idea that kids in these situations don't feel like they have a right to report what's happening has merit. When I was 17, I went to a martial arts convention in Quebec City. I rode up there in a van with some other members of the martial arts association my instructor was affiliated with. During the trip, one of the guys in the group decided to make me his scapegoat for the trip. Throughout most of the trip, he would make loud jokes about how he thought the group should "pass me around the van." He often tried to touch me, hug me, fondle me, etc. as a joke. He pretended like he was gay and kept telling me he would catch me in the bathroom sometime and "have some fun with me." He also told me that if I fell asleep in the van, he would anally rape me. He was 25.

I can't tell you how uncomfortable this all made me. However, I felt like I didn't have a right to be disturbed by it since it was supposedly all a joke, and so I never told anyone. I suspect others feel the same way.

[Akasa]

I was lucky. In early high school a middle aged man taught me some martial arts so I could defend myself from those bullying me. I grew up the smallest, the target. I had growth hormone deficiency, so I was the weakling. Easy target. Strangely it was mainly guys that targeted me, jocks.

I was taught how to take my target down using pressure points to where they would be on the ground in a submission hold. I was taught how to take down multiple targets and run away if need be, and my lessons came with the warning be careful you can really hurt someone with these moves. Don't use your full force unless you're fighting for your life. In 3 moves I can have someone on the ground tapping out or gasping for breath. I have had to use that knowledge. Without that training the bullying would have gotten way out of hand, as it was once the bullies saw I was no longer an easy target they went elsewhere looking for their kicks... in most cases. Some couldn't believe little ole me was no longer afraid of them and under their thumb. They got the brunt of my martial arts training. Every time they came at me. Some of them were rather stubborn. One of them attempted to rape me. He got the full brunt of the training.

[Talon]

To some extent, I reject this notion that people should never react with force because it's "swooping to the other person's level" or "we need to rise above it all."

And I'll reject it with you.
Violence should be a weapon of last resort. But a person who isn't willing to do violence under any circumstances has hopelessly crippled themselves, for no good reason. As someone else put it, turning the other cheek only gets you 2 sore cheeks.

Oh and the "stooping to their level" argument amounts to a false dichotomy. One person does violence because they get a sick twisted pleasure from it, another does violence because they have no other choice. One is NOT the same as the other.

During my life, I've come to the conclusion that sometimes swooping to the other person's level (if that's what you want to call it) is necessary.

"Mister, are you a bad man?"
- "That depends on who asks."

[Lace Neil Singer]

Exactly that. I only cracked and used violence after three years of bullying. It was a last resort for me, cuz I'm not a violent person. But if you pick a fight, you will get what's coming to you.

The girl who scratched my face never ever picked on me again. Also, the other bullies soon learned not to, after attacking me and getting punched. I'm sure that reasoning with bullies works for some people, but it didn't work for me.