its such an issue to get help watching my kid BUT

[LexiaFira]

I just started, as in just began TODAY, NAMI's WRAP Group for women which helps with depression. There are groups for men but I do not know the name.
I forget what the acronym stands for as today was overloading (will go un-bury the binder they gave me after I finish paperwork)
Basically it teaches me as a person how to handle my depression and catch early warning signs and what to do when I'm already in the downward spiral etc.

Quick head count, me, eldest sis in law, youngest sis in law, MIL and Stepfather she married, and the grandkids (3) one is mine the other two are eldest SIL's


HOWEVER This is a session I CANNOT bring my daughter to mostly because even though its barely two hours I cannot have her distracting me - not that she is but its almost like a class in that I NEED to pay attention.
The issue here? I need youngest sis in law or mil to watch DD for those two hours. It was never an issue when she wanted to come get her to have a day with her grand daughter but when I called IN ADVANCE to ask for this, oh no that would throw off everything. Psh, more like ruin your husband's schedule of whatever the heck he wants. Its always been what that man wants. The MIL Remarried and has been somewhat subservient to him, thats great it works out, but to the point we often get screwed. Yeah fine, no I don't want you watching her anymore since its SUCH an issue for him to deal with little kids. His excuse is he's too afraid to hold them for the fear he will drop them. RIIIIGHT. Your eldest grand daughter is two and if you accidentally dropped her she would look at you and go oops and smile and get back to playing. Or like kids do cry.
No its more his issue is he doesn't like kids and doesn't want to admit it.

sorry for the rant I'm just so tired of the BS. I'm not in competition over which set of grand-kids gets more time. I get a break to play catch up great, if not fine I still get stuff done I'd rather eldest sis in law gets a break as she has two kids, a two year old and 10 month old. So yeah, go spend time with her just don't BS me about planning to come get my daughter and then make an issue when I just need two hours to make my "class"

And by the way Thank GAWD hubs got a schedule change so he has thursdays off otherwise the next nine weeks will be heck as I have nine weeks worth of group sessions each thursday I CANNOT miss one class or be late

[BlaqueKatt]

first off-congrats on not being afraid or ashamed to get the help you need to be a better functioning person and better mom to your daughter!

Second I almost wonder if the reason you need/are requesting some help is why your mom is balking. Sadly there are way too many people(don't know your exact situation-so just a general comment), who don't understand depression is just as real of an illness as say the flu, just not contagious, but can reoccur or last what seems like forever. Some parents actually see it as an accusation of "bad parenting" on their part rather than a malfunction with neurotransmitters in the brain.

At least your hubby changed his schedule to support you.

third-I hope the class helps you in the way you need it to-it takes a stronger person to admit they need an outside assist, than it does to "just ignore it, and hope it gets better on it's own"(can you imagine what people would say if you told a person with cancer to "just get over it", yet some people still think this is an acceptable thing to say to someone suffering from mental illness)

[LexiaFira]

got rant happy there
basically MIL WANTS to see her grandkids, but on HER time or when her husband, this family's Step father is either not there or when he isn't being such a pain about having kids over. IE almost never or rarely.
So she keeps saying she wants to come get my daughter but has yet to, so when I asked its...not convenient for her. Fine. And I got super lucky that hubs had his schedule change when he did and if it doesn't actually happen he will still help watch her so I can make these thursday meetings.

I grew up with a very supportive and understanding mother. The kind of mother who would say "at least know what you are getting into before getting into it." or I cannot say no don't do this because I did it, but I at least want you to be informed and knowledged about what you are going to do before doing so. IE when I was smoking she said well I can't tell you no because I tried cigarettes but at least inform yourself about them. I did and quit soon after.
Same thing when I wanted to get a tattoo. Mom already had one so again its the whole i won't say no because that would be hypocrite. etc etc. The few things she did say no about, were dating and a few things she knew would end disastrous for me. And knowing her well enough when mom says no there is a damn good reason for it that I will eventually be told about.
The point to that being, I was raised by a decent mom, so it really really bothers me when I come across other parents no so caring, as in not even close to being decent about parenting.