"I'm sorry that YOU..."

[Dreamstalker]

Usually heard when dealing with a screwup that was beyond anybody's control, but I should have known about it (hint: if I did know about it in advance it wouldn't have happened in the first place).

"Well, I'm sorry YOU did/didn't do X". Always said after the fact; had I known that I needed to do/not do something in advance of a nebulous deadline it would have been done.

[HYHYBT]

Oh, I hate that too!

I thought, from the subject line, this was going to be about "I'm sorry that you..." as in "No, that's not what I meant at all. I'm sorry that you took it that way," which, though perfectly legitimate, seems to provoke anger in a lot of people.

[Greenday]

I thought, from the subject line, this was going to be about "I'm sorry that you..." as in "No, that's not what I meant at all. I'm sorry that you took it that way," which, though perfectly legitimate, seems to provoke anger in a lot of people.

Probably because it blames the offended and not the offender for what was said.

[Hyena Dandy]

And sometimes, you say something very offensive, by mistake, and that's sort of your fault for not phrasing it better. But sometimes people seem to be looking for a chance to take offense, or the statement was not particularly ambiguous. In which case, I'm not sorry about what I said, but I'm sorry that you felt offended by what you interpreted.

[DrFaroohk]

lol that's like most of the online world. Back when it was just shitty little bbs's and stuff I'd log in and try to talk to people and they'd fly off the handle. "Well you have to realize that on the internet people can't hear your tone of voice." So if it's left ambiguous, why choose the most offensive option!?

[HYHYBT]

Because "choos[ing] the most offensive option" requires first recognizing that there are others... which you're not likely to do when you're expecting, or even looking for, offense.

[Dreamstalker]

Which would require thinking, which again is surprisingly elusive at times.