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The phrase "Hey guys, take it to Fratching" is pissing me off.

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  • The phrase "Hey guys, take it to Fratching" is pissing me off.

    Why is it that whenever someone finds a subject personally uncomfortable they request that the discussion be sent here before ANY evidence of contentious arguement arises. No ranting, no fighting, no one on their soapbox spouting their beliefs. Only a polite discussion, a presention of information relevant to the subject. No flaming, no name calling, no tempers flaring....... and I see a post that says "Hey Guys, take it to Fratching" and I ask myself "Why? No one's fighting, no one's yelling, no one's screaming?" I see no reason to move a polite discussion here until it starts to degenerate.

    It is as if "Move it to Fratching" has become a form of censorship. A way of saying "This makes me personally uncomfortable and you must take your discussion elsewhere because your thoughts upset me." I find myself resenting those four words whenever they appear BEFORE any hostilities have warranted them.

    In general, I've seen forum members handle "hot button" issues with out resorting to screaming at each other, politely discussing them with intelligent references, presenting relevant information from a variety of sources so that everyone reading may arrive at their own conclusions. Where as the impression I've gotten is that Fratching is reserved for contentious subjects. It's expected to be full of arguements and fights, it is not a place that I would go and expect to find a reasoned, temperate, intelligent debate on a subject but rather a place where people are allowed to rant, vent their frustrations, blow off steam (no matter how illogical it is).

    Perhaps I am wrong, I almost never come here because this is the impression I have been given. When ever an uncomfortable discussion arises, someone cries out "Take It To Fratching" before there's any evidence that it's degenerating AT ALL. Damnit this just pisses me off. It's like being sent to you room BEFORE you've done anything. Being declared guilty until proven innocent. It rankles me, it annoys me, it rubs me the wrong way, it goes against the grain of everything I believe in regarding freedom of expression and that open discussion is vital to the health of any community.

    I mean I can understand if those involved in a discussion can't maintain the high road and start yelling at each other. THAT'S THE TIME TO MOVE IT HERE! But for anyone to come in and and suggest a discussion should be moved BEFORE there's any fighting breaking out. That's like telling someone in a town meeting who wishes to present information before the community they care about "You're free to talk all you want, but you have to goto another town becuase you might upset some of the more sensetive people here."

    At least have the decency to let the fight start instead of just ASSUMING that it eventually will. Telling folks to take it elsewhere while the discussion has remained polite is tantamount to saying "I just KNOW you're going to start fighting. Your type always does. You're incapable to carrying on a polite debate or discussion. So why don't you just leave now and spare the rest of us." It's insulting.

    There, I've had my rant. I'm still pissed off, but there's nothing more I can think to say to express what I can only term as "outrage".
    "Sometimes the way you THINK it is, isn't how it REALLY is at all." --St. Orin--

  • #2
    -sits back- This is going to be good...

    Hey, no popcorn emoticon?

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    • #3
      A few things:

      1. First and formeost, I'd say about 8 out of 10 times, the reason you don't see any flaming or tempers flaring is because the mods have removed those posts. They were there, and have been deleted. The general membership sees only a fraction of what takes place. The moderators behind the scenes have a broader view.

      2. In cases where there are no deleted posts, but there is still a "Fratching" warning by a mod, it's because we've been through the same shit so many times that we know that flaming is inevitable. There are certain topics that cause problems again and again and again -- and we're nipping it in the bud.

      3. Customers Suck! is a venting forum meant for friendly chatter and blowing off steam. It does not bill itself as anything else. There are at least 999,999 other places on the internet to discuss religion, politics, and the like. I am a member of more than just Fratching and CS. If I want to discuss politics in depth, I usually just pop onto another board. It's not something to get "outraged" about.

      Cries of "censorship" are somewhat misplaced. This is not the government or some nefarious overseer telling you what you can and cannot discuss on the internet. This is simply one website on the internet whose owner and operator has politely requested remain non-controversial. Members of Customers Suck! are guests of our host, and are treated to what he decides to offer. I don't go to a friend's house for dinner and get outraged that he's serving hamburgers when I wanted hot dogs. I eat the hamburgers or I go elsewhere.
      Last edited by Boozy; 09-15-2010, 09:52 PM.

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      • #4
        Originally posted by Sage Blackthorn View Post
        Where as the impression I've gotten is that Fratching is reserved for contentious subjects. It's expected to be full of arguements and fights, it is not a place that I would go and expect to find a reasoned, temperate, intelligent debate on a subject but rather a place where people are allowed to rant, vent their frustrations, blow off steam (no matter how illogical it is).

        Perhaps I am wrong, I almost never come here because this is the impression I have been given.
        actually arguments and fights rarely ever happen-fratching isn't a "free-for all" there are site rules just like on CS-and "reasoned, temperate, intelligent debate on a subject" is more or less what you will find.

        I wonder where you got that impression? most of us on the "darkside" actually like it here, as long as everyone follows the rules there are usually very few hurt feelings.

        Check out the site rules-and check out some of the longer threads-get comfy....
        Registered rider scenic shore 150 charity ride

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        • #5
          Folks? Sage isn't from CS that I can remember - he's quite active on another forum I run.

          Rapscallion
          Proud to be a W.A.N.K.E.R. - Womanless And No Kids - Exciting Rubbing!
          Reclaiming words is fun!

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Rapscallion View Post
            Folks? Sage isn't from CS that I can remember - he's quite active on another forum I run.

            Rapscallion
            First there's a thread on CS involving bewbs, now you own ANOTHER forum? What the hell has been going on?
            Violence has resolved more conflicts than anything else. The contrary opinion that violence doesn't solve anything is merely wishful thinking at its worst. - Starship Troopers

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            • #7
              Originally posted by Rapscallion View Post
              Folks? Sage isn't from CS that I can remember - he's quite active on another forum I run.
              True, but something tells me that if you replace all instances of "Customers Suck" in my post with the name of your other site, my points would still stand.

              We've had debates about this sort of thing here before, and people who have moderated other forums all say the same thing - what a member sees and what is really happening are often two different things.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by Sage Blackthorn View Post
                It's like being sent to you room BEFORE you've done anything.
                Actually, it's more like being told to behave before you're told to go to your room. "Going to your room" is probably more like being banned for breaking the rules too much.
                The key to an open mind is understanding everything you know is wrong.

                my blog
                my brother's

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by Boozy View Post
                  2. In cases where there are no deleted posts, but there is still a "Fratching" warning by a mod, it's because we've been through the same shit so many times that we know that flaming is inevitable. There are certain topics that cause problems again and again and again -- and we're nipping it in the bud.
                  This brings up a related complaint to the OP's... I have no problem with MODS doing a fratching warning, I know that the MODS see more than we do and have insights we don't.
                  Now though, when other members start with the fratching warning (I might make an exception if it is an OP asking people not to take it to fratching territory because they don't want the thread closed), then it is irritating. That starts to seem more like a person who's feelings were hurt that want to make the other person shut up.
                  "I'm Gar and I'm proud" -slytovhand

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Rapscallion View Post
                    Folks? Sage isn't from CS that I can remember - he's quite active on another forum I run.

                    Rapscallion
                    This might be more appropriate for a PM, but...what is this other forum, if I may ask?

                    Originally posted by joe hx View Post
                    Actually, it's more like being told to behave before you're told to go to your room. "Going to your room" is probably more like being banned for breaking the rules too much.
                    Actually, talking from experience, it's more like being sent to live with your uncle in the country...or a boarding school.

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Boozy View Post
                      2. In cases where there are no deleted posts, but there is still a "Fratching" warning by a mod, it's because we've been through the same shit so many times that we know that flaming is inevitable. There are certain topics that cause problems again and again and again -- and we're nipping it in the bud.
                      This.

                      I've been a member on CS for longer than a lot of people, and a moderator longer than any one else except for one person. I've been around even longer than the current owner of CS has.

                      Years ago, we allowed people to post about any topic as long as they kept it civil, and stepped in only when things got heated. But "if" turned into "when" every single time, so we just started disallowing controversial topics completely.

                      I'm sorry you think Fratching is a "room" people get sent to when they misbehave. I prefer to think of it more along the lines of a bar you can go to and tell dirty jokes, instead of telling them at the local fast food restaurant.
                      --- I want the republicans out of my bedroom, the democrats out of my wallet, and both out of my first and second amendment rights. Whether you are part of the anal-retentive overly politically-correct left, or the bible-thumping bellowing right, get out of the thought control business --- Alan Nathan

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by BlaqueKatt View Post
                        actually arguments and fights rarely ever happen-fratching isn't a "free-for all" there are site rules just like on CS-and "reasoned, temperate, intelligent debate on a subject" is more or less what you will find.

                        I wonder where you got that impression? most of us on the "darkside" actually like it here, as long as everyone follows the rules there are usually very few hurt feelings.

                        Check out the site rules-and check out some of the longer threads-get comfy....
                        Good question. Could be that whenever a subject starts to get less-than-cordial (starting off with sniping, little verbal jabs, or backhanded compliments, or outright insults) a post will show up saying "Take It To Fratching". Lately, such warnings seem (from this side of the screen anyway) to be showing up BEFORE there's any degeneration in the conversation, when it's still apparently polite, and cordial and all those involved are maintaining a high level of civility in their conversation.

                        So, everytime there's a fight, all those involved get told to take it here. The only lighter warning I've ever seen has been "This thread is edging towards Fratchng Territory," which still seems to imply that any less than cordial conversation should be taking place here instead of on the forum where it started.

                        So just to get things straight, this ISN'T the place to discuss potentially volitile or "hot-button" issues?
                        "Sometimes the way you THINK it is, isn't how it REALLY is at all." --St. Orin--

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Hobbs View Post
                          This might be more appropriate for a PM, but...what is this other forum, if I may ask?
                          I run four total

                          Rapscallion
                          Proud to be a W.A.N.K.E.R. - Womanless And No Kids - Exciting Rubbing!
                          Reclaiming words is fun!

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Hobbs View Post
                            This might be more appropriate for a PM
                            Why?
                            I see nothing that's "PM worthy" about his comment at all.
                            He was correcting a false notion about which site was directing the member to fratching.
                            Point to Ponder:

                            Is it considered irony when someone on an internet forum makes a post that can be considered to look like it was written by a 3rd grade dropout, and they are poking fun of the fact that another person couldn't spell?

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Boozy View Post
                              A few things:

                              Cries of "censorship" are somewhat misplaced. This is not the government or some nefarious overseer telling you what you can and cannot discuss on the internet. This is simply one website on the internet whose owner and operator has politely requested remain non-controversial. Members of Customers Suck! are guests of our host, and are treated to what he decides to offer. I don't go to a friend's house for dinner and get outraged that he's serving hamburgers when I wanted hot dogs. I eat the hamburgers or I go elsewhere.
                              My mistake entirely, that should've been "censureship" as in the act of censuring someone in it's definition of "severe disapproval, criticism, or condemnation". I did notice that the online dictionary mentions that "censure" and "censore" are often easily confused.
                              "Sometimes the way you THINK it is, isn't how it REALLY is at all." --St. Orin--

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