Long Answers

[Hobbs]

I hate it when I ask someone a simple "yes" or "no" question, and they have to go on a long, complicated tangent that is much more than I wanted, or cared, to know. Let me give you a recent example"

Me: (duh), thoughts in brackets, []
CC: C/Cadet

Me: Do you have your quiz? [Please be "yes"]

CC: Sir, you see, what happened was I didn't open the email, so I didn't get the attachment that we needed to print out.

Me: [First of all; that was a yes/no question. Secondly, you're shitting me, aren't you? Why the crap did you ignore my email?]

So, a short exchange, to say the least, but nowhere did I ask him to explain to me why he didn't follow direction. I already have him on my list of "problem" cadets, and this really didn't improve my impression of him.

(Note: for those interested, I had him write out an MFR and turn it into me. He'll have to present his memo to another cadet-officer who's in charge of the quizzes.)

PS: It just doesn't happen in the cadet corps, this is something I see constantly. Instead of a simple, one-word answer, people turn it into a long, detailed story. Does anyone else here hate that?

[Ladeeda]

Uck, I get that kind of stuff from my Aunt (and a few clients). You ask a simple question, then get this freaking epic backstory and tangent, and there's no way to shut them up without interrupting, since you can't get a freaking word in!

[HYHYBT]

In your example, sure, but often something is worded as a simple yes-or-no question when the answer is either more along the lines of "sort-of" or "it depends on exactly what you mean by x" or otherwise calls for a longer answer. Then the person asking gets mad or cuts you off when you try to give that vital additional information.

Not the greatest example, but an easy one: "have you stopped beating your wife?" It's a yes-or-no question, but nobody who's paying attention (unless he's a fool) would give only a yes-or-no answer.

[blas87]

Oh my lord do I agree with this one.

I have a few coworkers who do that. My bf even does it. I want to beat them all senseless because of it.

"Are you coming home on time today?"

"Well, I gotta stop here and then I might go get something to eat, but see my brakes really need to get fixed so I probably should just come straight home but I really want to get something to eat because there's no food in the house, but I don't want to end up having them seize on me, but...."

[HYHYBT]

Exactly my point though. You ask a yes-or-no question, and get an answer that's essentially "I'm not sure because..." Why is that not a valid, non-complaint-worthy response?

[Sage Blackthorn]

Any Yes/No question that can also be read as an accusation of wrong-doing on the part of the listener will tend to elicit not only a Yes/No answer, but an accompanying statement of defense. It could just be the situation where the listener KNEW that they'd done something wrong, and being confronted with this immediately puts them on the defensive.

How you ask the question could be the source of your frustration, because it's inviting the kind of responses you dislike.

[Hobbs]

Exactly my point though. You ask a yes-or-no question, and get an answer that's essentially "I'm not sure because..." Why is that not a valid, non-complaint-worthy response?

Because there were only two valid answers, "yes" or "no." Anything else is extraneous bs that does not matter.

How you ask the question could be the source of your frustration, because it's inviting the kind of responses you dislike.

Okay, this isn't meant to be offensive to you, and if it is, I apologize. In your greeting thread, I asked if you were male/female. I probably should have explained it was to ensure I used the right pronouns towards you (he/she, etc.). The point is, you wrote out a (not very lengthy, but substantial) paragraph about gender-confusion on the 'Net and your upbringing. While valid, it wasn't what I asked. Does that example make sense?

[Ginger Tea]

some times the long answer is a preemptive 2nd answer

"are you coming home on time tonight?" for example
"no"
"well why not?"

I hate when I as an a/b question and get yes for the answer

[Ghel]

There are many situations where someone may be reluctant to give a simple "yes" or "no" answer to a question.

In the situation in the OP, the cadet may have been reluctant to say no for fear of getting in trouble, so he/she may have given the explanation as a pre-emptive way of trying to stay out of trouble.

In Sage's welcome thread, he rightly explained the differences between physical sexual makeup, gender roles (as perceived by society) and emotional/mental gender. An answer which I think was spot on.

In a third situation, the question may belie a misunderstanding of the situation or contain some sort of logical fallacy, and the person responding has to explain why the question is invalid. In that case, a "yes" or "no" is an inappropriate answer.

[Hobbs]

In the situation in the OP, the cadet may have been reluctant to say no for fear of getting in trouble, so he/she may have given the explanation as a pre-emptive way of trying to stay out of trouble.

Actually, his answer made him look worse in my eyes than if he had simply said "no." We'd had a briefing by our Commandant on the honor code (We will not lie, steal or cheat, nor tolerate anyone amongst us who does). His answer, by definition, was lying, since his answer was evasive to the question asked.

In Sage's welcome thread, he rightly explained the differences between physical sexual makeup, gender roles (as perceived by society) and emotional/mental gender. An answer which I think was spot on.

I'm not saying his question was wrong, I'm saying it wasn't what I asked. I wanted to know how to address him in speaking, and so I asked if he was male or female. If he wants to discuss gender roles, there's plenty of opportunities on this forum to do so.

[HYHYBT]

Absolutely, unequivocally wrong. If neither of the answers you offered is correct, you have no business at all complaining that the answer was something else.

As for "evasive," unless the long answer provided did not provide the information you sought, then it was not evasive, much less lying (which not all evasive answers qualify as.)

[Hobbs]

As for "evasive," unless the long answer provided did not provide the information you sought, then it was not evasive, much less lying (which not all evasive answers qualify as.)

His response was quibbling. Quibbling is defined as: "To evade the truth or importance of an issue by raising trivial distinctions and objections." He was evading the truth, which was that "No, he had not done his work."

We have to hold ourselves to a higher standard in our morals than the civilian population.

[Sage Blackthorn]

Okay, this isn't meant to be offensive to you, and if it is, I apologize. In your greeting thread, I asked if you were male/female. I probably should have explained it was to ensure I used the right pronouns towards you (he/she, etc.). The point is, you wrote out a (not very lengthy, but substantial) paragraph about gender-confusion on the 'Net and your upbringing. While valid, it wasn't what I asked. Does that example make sense?

Not offended at all. And yes it makes sense. I wasn't reading your question as a simple "Male or Female" one. Again, the problem of interpretting what someone is saying through the limited medium of text. And while you were wanting to know how to refer to me (and I'd probably have pissed you off by saying "Just Sage is fine"), I read your question as one pertaining to how I saw myself than how you should address me in polite conversation. Again, it was entirely my own interpretation of what you ment.

And it was a bit pre-emptive on my part (something I need to work on not doing anymore) as I've noticed that people will treat you differently depending on whether they view you as one gender or the other. Which, honestly is a subect I could (and probably will) start a whole new "Things I Hate" thread on I'd rather have people relate to me for who I am than what I am.

Anyway, back to what we were talking about. It could also be a cultural thing to deal with. I have the opposite pet peeve. I hate simple one word answers like "Yes" or "No". I expect people to give me an answer and a reason or explanation behind that answer. When they don't, I feel like I'm trying to pull teeth to get anything out of them. Or it makes me suspect they are hiding something by not being forth-coming with pertinent or relevant information. When I didn't want to tell someone something because I thought it might upset them, I'll usually say as little as possible and leave it upto them to read as they want, while still being technically truthful.

[HYHYBT]

We have to hold ourselves to a higher standard in our morals than the civilian population.

Still, at the VERY least, not lying by any rational definition. And I'll just cut out the rest of what I'd typed here, because "reasonable" is not expected of military rules.

[gremcint]

The ones who piss me off are those who make a conscious effort to not give a straight answer or yes or no. I've had teachers trying to act all intellectual by giving bullshit answers or diverting yes or no questions and trying to distract you, usually these people are just a waste of breath.