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[blas87]

I had to post this. This drives me insane. It's along the same lines as people asking for your advice and not taking it, but not too extreme. Just annoying.

Bf called me today just minutes after leaving and I was trying to sleep. He said his family wanted to know a good restaurant to have breakfast at.

I offered a few suggestions, and in the background, his family was "Ew no!" or "No, not there!" or "None of those places is better than x family restaurant!"

It was like, why the hell did you even call and ask me, then? Seems as though they already had a few ideas or one main place. I wasn't putting in a vote, I was asked to make suggestions. None of them taken. It's not that what I suggested wasn't taken, it was the fact that all of the places I suggested, they all kept turning down or making comments as to why they wouldn't go there.

[RavenStarr]

Oh I don't know which would piss me off more. Someone calling while I'm trying to sleep. Or someone calling to ask a dumb question while I'm trying to sleep.

Also this drives me batty.

RS- RavenStarr

IP Irritating person.

RS- So where do you want to eat?

IP- Oh it don't matter, whatever you want.

RS- Okay then how about x chinese food place?

IP- Oh um I don't really care too much for chinese.

RS- Oh well then how about x mexican food place?

IP- Nah I hate mexican food.

RS- Well where do you want to go?

IP- I don't know. Where do you want to go?

Gah I hate when they do that.

[HYHYBT]

Other than you not having anything to do with where a group you're not part of eats, and being called when you're trying to sleep, I don't understand this at all. The second example is easier, so going with that: why is it not reasonable not to have any particular place in mind, yet know that you do not want to go to certain other places (such as those which serve food you hate?) For example, why can I not care whether we go to Arby's, Chick-fil-a, Wendy's, or a host of other places I wouldn't even think to name, while still not wanting the specific choices you name which I wouldn't even have thought of as possibilities because I hate their food?

[blas87]

It irritated me that I was asked my opinion, and everything was given a "no" or "ew" answer. Why did you even ask me then, if everything was an automatic "no", and it seemed like my bf's dad already had his mind made up beforehand. But I forget, that family makes no sense in anything they do.

[Kaylyn]

LOL, me and my husband do this all the time with each other. We say, "Okay, where are we eating?" "I don't care." I'll name a few places and he'll shoot them down, then he'll name places and I'll shoot them down. It's frustrating till we finally find something we can agree on. This usually happens when neither one of us is having a specific craving.

[MaggieTheCat]

Blas, I know exactly what you mean. It's people who ask for advice, but aren't actually looking for it; they always have an excuse to why something won't work out.

For example, take someone who is looking for a new job. They ask you for advice because they can't stand their current job but are not having any luck finding anything else.

"Did you apply at that call center place?"
"No way, I can't handle talking on the phone all day."
"What about the grocery store?"
"Yeah, they actually offered me a position, but it was second shift! I don't wanna work second shift."
"Well, there's the warehouse..."
"Ugh, and have to be on my feet all day? No thanks."
"Let's see your resume. What if you reword this part?"
"I don't think that will make a difference, it won't help any."

Seriously, you've been given 4 different suggestions now and you have some excuse for why every single one of them isn't feasible. Why bother asking in the first place? It's like they just ask so they can whine about it.

Also, in regards to the whole "where do you want to go out to eat" thing...if you don't like Chinese and you don't like Mexican, then don't say, "I don't care" when someone asks where you want to go. Say, "I don't care, but I don't feel like Chinese and I hate Mexican." If you're in the mood for something from either Arby's, Wendy's, or Chick-Fil-A, then don't get exasperated when you say you don't care and someone starts suggesting other places.

[Boozy]

My best friend once called my husband (at the time, my boyfriend) on Sunday morning at 8:30 and told him that she'd met a friend of his the night before.

That's it. That was the entire reason for her call.

Not really something someone would want to get out of bed for, is it?

But the worst part of the situation you're describing, blas, is that they dismissed all your ideas. If you're going to ask someone for a recommendation, you should really just say, "Thanks for the suggestions." Even if you don't like them.

[blas87]

I think both parts of it are absburd. I mean, I wasn't in a deep sleep or anything like that, but he knew I went back to sleep as soon as he left.

His family is like that, though. They make the stupidest calls and ask the dumbest questions and then get mad when they don't hear the answers they want.

I have a bunch of coworkers who do that, also. It's too broad of a range of things they bring up or ask opinions on, but it's always the same results. When you bring up an issue or ask someone their opinion or suggestion, you're opening up to any kind of answer, really. If you don't like it, fine, but I don't get why people can't be polite or halfway considerate instead of exclamations and remarks of disgust.