Half listening and jumping to conclusions

[muses_nightmare]

This is sort of a rant about my mom, but it applies to anyone with this behaviour.

Basically my mom has a habit of not fully listening to what someone is saying. She'll hear one or two words and jump to some random conclusion about what the conversation was about. She also doesn't let me finish sentences before freaking out, for example say I'm talking about an article of clothing I like, she jumps to the conclusion that I want her to buy it for me and usually says something along the lines of "ohhh I really can't afford to get that for you now, you know that." I've never asked her to buy me anything (well, not since I was a kid, and even then I never really did), so she doesn't have a precedent of me expecting that from her. I'm pretty much always just saying that I like said item. (maybe not the best example, but my brain is pretty close to mush right now )

It's just aggravating to have someone not listen properly before they jump in.

[DrFaroohk]

I get that from a lot of people. It sucks. And there are idiots everywhere and I've been learning to just accept the fact that when it comes to things like listening, reasoning abilities and the like, I'm vastly superior to about 90% of the people I know, but the problem is that many of these special needs children are in positions of authority - cops, teachers, bosses, parents, etc...so there's nothing you can do but take their shit and like it.

[blas87]

My mom has done that ever since I've been old enough to understand conversation.

I used to come home from school and tell her that it was midterms or that my report card was in, and she'd immediately fly off "YOU BETTER BE GETTING DECENT GRADES, IF I SEE ANYTHING LOWER THAN Bs, YOU'RE GROUNDED UNTIL THOSE GRADES COME UP!" and I hadn't even opened up the envelope or said anything negative yet.

Oh, and like I said, it's gone on into my adulthood. And she does it to my father and my brother has well. She puts on a good act for coworkers and bosses and most of my father's family, but she constantly jumps and freaks over any little thing said by people she feels she can openly do it to.

That was just my best example. You can literally just say "It's not a really good day, I had a flat tire when I got off of work" and she'll just start screaming about responsibility and blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

[DrFaroohk]

Reminds me of my parents when I was younger. When I was a little kid I was always really well mannered, but if anyone ever gave me a present or did something nice for me, they'd immediately jump in my shit like "MAKE SURE YOU SAY THANK YOU!!!!!!"

This pissed me off because it completely changed the situation. I was going to say thank you anyway, because I was a nice, well mannered young man. Now, this little punkass shit is only saying thank you because his parents made him.

Or with my dad, when a misunderstanding a few years back led to some trouble with local police. I told him about it, and got the shittiest reponse possible. He could have just sympathized - "Gee whiz that sucks." Or even given me some credit - "Hey son, you didn't listen to your friends, you listened to your heart and did the right thing despite it getting you into trouble - I'm proud of you." No. He just heard "trouble with police" and automatically assumed I'd robbed a bank or killed someone.

[blas87]

My mother did that to me as well.

Thought of another one, since you brought up something similar, Doc.

At my graduation party when I was opening cards/gifts, my mom screamed in front of everyone in attendance "AND YOU WILL BE WRITING THANK YOU CARDS TO EVERYONE!"

That was so humiliating.

[Hobbs]

- cops, teachers, bosses, parents, etc...so there's nothing you can do but take their shit and like it.

Are you really saying that 90% of the parents on here are special-needs? And for teachers as well? My mother and my brother are educators, so which of them is special-needs?

I think you need to re-evaluate your own ideas about what constitutes special-needs.

[guywithashovel]

I know those of us without kids are usually discouraged from commenting on parenting, but I've always cringed when people do something nice for a kid, and immediately afterwards, the parent looks at them crosseyed and says, "Say thank you." Yes, they do need to learn to say "thank you," but at least give them a chance to say it on their own.

As for the topic, I've had my share of people who listen to the first few words of what I say and then jump to some conclusion about it. I dealt with them all the time when I worked in retail. What makes it even more irritating is when they jump to the conclusion in an extremely emotional, excited manner. People with exaggerated responses to minor phenomena really get under my skin.

This also happened in an ethics class I took when working on my master's degree. I was giving a presentation on intellectual freedom, and part of the presentation was talking about book banning. During the presentation, I talked about the various types of filters that libraries sometimes put on their computers. As I did this, I noticed that some woman in the class stopped listening and started a conversation with the girl next to her. When I was finished, she raised her hand and started chewing me out for advocating censorship (allegedly). She said I was "coming up with all sorts of reasons to censor information." I wasn't! I was just telling the class the various types of content filters libraries sometimes put on their computers. Jeez, listen to the presentation, will you?

[McDreidel09]

Reminds me of my parents when I was younger. When I was a little kid I was always really well mannered, but if anyone ever gave me a present or did something nice for me, they'd immediately jump in my shit like "MAKE SURE YOU SAY THANK YOU!!!!!!"

My mother still does this to me. It is extremely embarrassing because 1)I am an adult. 2) I have said please and thank you since I could first formulate words. 3) It implies that I never say thank you and that I am some rude person. In reality, I have had so many people tell me to stop thanking them because I thank people a whole bunch when they do nice stuff for me. My GRANDMOTHER had to say it lol. 4) I'm a FREAKING ADULT!!!

[muses_nightmare]

People with exaggerated responses to minor phenomena really get under my skin.

This is my mom to a tee. You'd think I would have gotten used to it, but nope sill grates on my nerves to no end.

One of the instructors when I took first year university courses basically jumped in and told me to take toastmasters classes just because I took a breath before starting my presentation. I just wanted to smuck him upside the head and say "just let me start before you decide I can't speak in public"

[blas87]

Don't worry, it still pisses me off to no end with my mother as well. I don't think she'll ever stop.