Being Dumped

[Hobbs]

I can't...say more at the moment...

please God...let me die

[Ree]

You may feel like that now, but give it time.
I know that's easy to say, and much less so to put into practice, but don't give up.

Nobody is worth that kind of pain. I mean it.

The fact that you posted this means you are reaching out to get a shoulder to cry on, and that's actually a good sign.
It means you aren't in a total state of despair as long as you realize that support is here.

We all have our differences, and on a debate site, it may seem that people really dislike another person simply because they hold a different belief and butt heads in the threads, but I like to think this is a caring community full of people who can rise above the pettiness and in-thread bickering to offer support to another member when they are in pain.

[HYHYBT]

...
Lord, please help Hobbs through this, show him your love, and don't let him... do anything stupid.

(with apologies to the rest of Fratching; I saw this right after reading through another forum where that would be an appropriate form of response to such a post, and it fits better than anything else I can think of to say and certainly is better at this time than, say, debating the OP)

[Hobbs]

I don't show it, but deep inside I am very suspicious of other people. I always think that they are more likely to harm me than to be nice to me. Maybe it's emotional-stunting or something. Anyway, two events over the last couple of days have eroded whatever trust I had left. How can I trust others when the people I love the most betray me and hurt me?

[guywithashovel]

I feel for you. Really, I do. Going through this really sucks.

I was dumped back in February, though my situation was probably a little different than yours, because if I remember from your other posts, this was a fairly long-term relationship. My situation was just an early phase thing that I was really hoping would work out. I felt like an absolute idiot. I remember leaving her a message on her voice mail after not hearing from her, and then getting an email saying it was over. I felt like such a tool. Oh well, she and her friends probably got a good laugh out of the voice mail. (Or maybe not . . . I just tend to suspect things like that.)

It's really hard to talk about this stuff, too, because many of the people I'm around have found their "other halves," and people in such situations really can't understand this.

I hope you're okay. Really, I do.

[crashhelmet]

I used to hate being dumped. Getting dumped sucks. It's like getting fired from a job you put a lot of time and effort into. I used to always sit there and wonder "What did I do wrong?" I had one girl dump me to go back to an ex that abused her. That really did a number on my own self-image.

Then I realized that it was a lot like crying over spilled milk. What was done was done. There was nothing I could do or say that would change her mind, and if it did, would I be able to trust her again?

My most recent ex just decided to stop talking to me. We were dating for a while and went out one Saturday night. I spoke with her every day afterwards, like we usually did, up to the following Wednesday night. We had made plans to see each other on Thursday, our mutual day off, and I haven't heard from her since. No calls, no texts, no emails, nothing. I know she's alive because she's accessing her facebook account. Between that Wednesday and Friday I left 3 texts and 1 voicemail and have not gotten a single reply. I've moved on.

But then again, I'm a heartless bastard when it comes to things like this and death. I spent so long refusing to let them bother me, that they no longer do. All it takes is a reminder or two of whatever I need to remind myself and I'm good to go.

CH

[draco664]

I can't...say more at the moment...

please God...let me die

Ouch. Hobbs, you have my sympathy.

[Ghel]

Hobbs, I know we butt heads on religiously themed threads, but I want you to know I really do feel for you. I can't really offer much consolation except to say I hope things get better. Sometimes just knowing that there's a friendly ear can help ease the pain.

[blas87]

I'm sorry this happened, Hobbs. You have my support.

[telecom_goddess]

I'm sorry to hear that Hobbs....I feel for you. I had someone dump me a couple of years ago after a 15 year relationship and that was the worst thing that ever happened to me and I didn't think I would ever get over it but I did eventually. Time does heal.

[Racket_Man]

I'm sorry to hear that Hobbs....I feel for you. I had someone dump me a couple of years ago after a 15 year relationship and that was the worst thing that ever happened to me and I didn't think I would ever get over it but I did eventually. Time does heal.

Quoth Hobbs
Anyway, two events over the last couple of days have eroded whatever trust I had left. How can I trust others when the people I love the most betray me and hurt me?

same here. Ex walked out on a 20 year "marriage" cause "God" told her to. said she did not love me anymore. (obviously there is much more to the story but...) the hurt lasted for more than a few months but.... I coped and started to move on. started dating a nice woman .


the world will still be spinning in the morning. YES it will hurt for a while, but PLEASE PLEASE do not go the "I wanna die now" thing. it is not worth it.

[Ree]

I don't show it, but deep inside I am very suspicious of other people. I always think that they are more likely to harm me than to be nice to me.

Actually, yes you do show that side.

I hope you will see that a lot of people genuinely care, though, and don't like to see anyone hurting.

[Hobbs]

Actually, yes you do show that side.

I only show that side when I'm actually threatened.

[Giggle Goose]

*hugs* Things will get better, Hobbs. Promise promise promise! I went through a bad breakup a couple years ago and thought that no one would ever love me again, blah blah blah, how will I ever be able to trust anyone, ad nauseum.

Looking back on it, I should have celebrated, since being rid of that jerk was the best thing that ever happened to me. Of course, I felt that exact same way you do for quite some time, so that transformation definitely doesn't happen overnight. In the meantime, just know we're all here for you

[Hobbs]

Of course, I felt that exact same way you do for quite some time, so that transformation definitely doesn't happen overnight.

Oddly, I'm no longer that broken up about it. I might be somewhat bitter and distrusting, but I'm not sad/angry...once in a while, maybe. Hmm, it's actually fairly interesting.