Refusing to get with the times- phone trees, really!?

[Amanita]

I mentioned my moochy friend trying to appropriate my lightsabers and poi, and generally being grabby.

I had an interesting chat with her the other night. One of her gripes is that "everything is online, nobody wants to get together and do anything, it's all online."

I told her that yes, people DO get together and do things, they just organize online. Pagan rituals, sci-fi fandom, cosplay, and so on. Which caused her to growl because she does not have a computer. Her roommate does, complete with internet. But since she spends so little time at her apartment, she doesn't get at it.

I told her that if she wants to stay in the loop, it's simple to set up hotmail and facebook accounts, and to drop into the public library every few days while out running around. She's on assistance and not working, so she has lots of time.
That wasn't good enough for her- she does not like having to wait her turn.

I suggested that she make a deal with her roommate- he might be willing to let her use his computer to check her emails and online groups a few times a week, if she chipped in for internet access.
She didn't like that either. She said "Internet is just one more thing to get money out of me!" and said that she would only agree to chip in $10 if asked, not a cent more. Not that she is completely broke, she just does not want to pay any more.

She believes that events planned online are unreliable- people cancel at the last minute without so much as a word, leaving everyone in the dust. I know that this is not the rule- it's happened once that I can recall, while other times I have recieved emails when things have had to be called off.

She believes that when you are planning an event, you NEED to make your phone number available for the convenience of people like her, who don't have internet. She says "I would want to call the night before and ask 'is it still going on?' It's only a quick, two minute call and it's done!"
She does not understand that "one quick call" is not going to be that way on the other end. Imagine having to answer a couple dozen "quick two minute calls" while trying to get ready for something. And not everyone makes "quick two minute calls". Some people are gonna want to chat, others will leave a ton of messages, getting flustered if they don't get called back rightthisveryminute.

She thinks that event organizers need to take exceptional measures just for people like her, who insist on clinging to phone trees, and refuse to do anything to get online, or adjust in any way. And that event organizers should accept phones ringing off the hook, fielding calls from people asking "Is it still on?", even when there's nothing (such as weather or other events) which would make cancellation likely.

I think that there's only so much hand-holding people can do to accomodate those who refuse to make any effort to get connected or stay current. And that if the price of organizing an event is having to field endless phone calls constantly interrupting preperations, or just plain quiet time (to say nothing of the lives of everyone else in the house), then a lot of people would stop hosting events, writing it off as not worth the hassle and loss of peace and privacy.

My friend whines about the poor people who can't afford computers or the 'net, while I can think of lots of free or low-cost options for people who want net access.

Whose side are you guys on?

[telecom_goddess]

I gotta agree there is absolutely no reason to not move with the times and technology. If you don't have a computer then go to the library or use your cellphone, most of them have access now.

It's an online world and everyone is gonna have to get used to it.

[Amanita]

My friend doesn't even have a cellphone, she just borrows her dad's.
Aside from rent on a place she hardly visits, WTF is she spending her checks on every month?

Her dad buys a bus pass for her every month, I am pretty sure he buys her food and I know he cooks it for her.

What the hell, indeed.

[AdminAssistant]

Yep, it's an online, socially-connected world. Setting up a Facebook event is so much easier than sending out invitations or calling people, or even sending out e-mails. Besides, it's so easy to go to a public library for your internet time, although you do have to be careful with what you do on public computers.

[telecom_goddess]

My friend doesn't even have a cellphone, she just borrows her dad's.
Aside from rent on a place she hardly visits, WTF is she spending her checks on every month?

Her dad buys a bus pass for her every month, I am pretty sure he buys her food and I know he cooks it for her.

What the hell, indeed.

Uh yeah with all that she should be rolling in money.....I second what the hell....

[Ginger Tea]

kinda reminds me of tonight (bit of a long story that I'll attempt to keep short, a longer version might get posted as a separate thread)

Guy I know is thinking of renting a nightclub for his birthday and was talking to me about it tuesday night in a late bar, thing is this venue isn't designed
for conversations, its small and the music is loud so you don't have any quiet corners, just outside in the cold brisk air, so I shouted to him
"I can't hear you email me some ideas over"

finshed work at 2 and spoke to him bout 4 after faffing with yahoo/msn not letting him post to me
we agree to meet at my local, he drives and I don't fancy going into town and I like the meals they do
"how about 8?" he says
"you working?" I ask as hes normally finishing at 10
"no"
"why not 6 or 7?"
"I need to sort out a set list CD for you" which we had talked about
"that can wait, we can just talk about it for now"
"ok 7"

come 7ish I come back from freshening up to find a message saying hes almost ready, I think, by the time I'm changed and out the door he should be there
already or only a few minutes behind and type that I'm just getting changed and will be out the door in a few mins. No reply so I assume hes already out
'I've Gone' I type just in case he hasn't left just to let him know and head out

I order my drink and meal, thinking he'll be there by the time its served which was 20 mins or so (yummy mixed grills can't be rushed, nor microwaved), he's
still not here and has no credit to call or text me,
I text him sat like billy no mates eating my meal a few times, also stating that if hes a no show by 9ish I would go after my drink is finished

I call him on my way out
"I'm on my way" he says before I can say anything
"bit late, I'm leaving now"
"I was having something to eat"
I lay into him that posting a message saying "nearly ready" to me means "I'm all but ready and will be out within 15 minutes"
"I couldn't call you I had no credit", payphones been abolished where he lives?
I tell him that, as he couldn't be arsed showing up or contacting me that he would be stupidly late, that he would be on his own organizing his birthday bash
as I would have nothing to do with it, I would go, if my rota is kind to him, but I didn't want to him to ask my oppinion on anything about it as that was what tonight was meant to be all about.

his "nearly ready" is kind of like his "I'm close by" the last time he was a no show
when I asked where he was after he said close by and still wasn't there 15 minutes later, he was two villages down from Cambridge. to me, close by is somewhere you could walk in ten minutes, not somewhere I'd have to get a larger ordanance survey out to find

[HYHYBT]

I'm with all of you, except on one point: if you only have internet access every few days, as suggested, then email is no good for a last-minute (or day) cancellation. In which case, the person canceling would do well to call, if they know about the sporadic access.

Me, I'm rarely OFFline more than four hours at a time unless I'm asleep.

[Amanita]

I've told my friend that instead of blowing her spare cash at the used bookstore, she should save up and buy one of those small, cheap netbooks. I've got a $2k laptop, but that thing is crazy-powerful, designed for gaming and intense graphics work. NO WAY does she need that kind of power- just something very simple for surfing the net. She might even be able to get a used/refurbished one for way less than the cost of a new one, if she looks around. But she does not want to do that either, it seems.

But this is the same person who backed out of going splits with me on a hotel room for an upcoming con, after she knew how much it would cost months in advance. All of a sudden she is whining "$90 is a lot of money!". So I am hosed now. She refuses to get a bank account, crying about not wanting to have to pay to use her money. She seems to blow a lot of money on used books, it seems. Heaven forbid she save up for anything big.

[guywithashovel]

She sounds like one of those people who has to create a problem every time something is going on. You know the type, I'm sure. Whenever there's a party or some other kind of event, they have to zero in on a bunch of minor nuances and blow them all out of proportion and act like everything is going wrong is disaster is imminent. They often end up spoiling the whole thing.

For example, in these events, everything is going just fine and everyone's looking forward to the ritual or whatever, and here she is creating a ruckus over the fact that it's planned online, and many people's parades are probably getting rained on over it.

[blas87]

What is a phone tree?

[Amanita]

Yeah, she did this at the annual Witch's ball a couple of years ago. That year, the event was at a new venue, and there were a few snags in getting the evening started. The host showed up a bit late, and he didn't have the cash box set up right away, so we (we were the first to arrive) had a bit of a wait to get in, and when we were able to get into the place, we couldn't pay right away. So he just let us hang around inside (as the weather outside was starting to get wet), while he got things squared away. I was just happy to be inside, but my friend could not stop bitching and getting wound up about everything not being ready lickety-split on time when we got there. A little while later, she bailed and went home, saying she was not feeling well. Another friend of mine said afterwards that it was all self inflicted- she could not let the late start to the event drop, and kept going on and on, working herself up into a tizzy, which only aggravated whatever physical symptoms she had.

Needless to say, I thought she was being just a wee bit of a drama queen that night. "Good god, we're indoors and out of the drizzle. Who cares if we have to wait a little longer to pay for our tickets? Let it go already!"

[RavenStarr]

Tell her the tin can and string just isn't working.

[ZedOmega]

Tell her the tin can and string just isn't working.

And that the wind is too strong for smoke signals.

[Ipecac Drano]

What is a phone tree?

A communications device made and used by Wiccans.


Seriously, you call two people about an event, they each call two people, and so on.

[Rageaholic]

I'm of two minds on this issue.

For one, I hate people who are so anti technology and want everything to be done the old fashion way. "In my day, we used the library! In my day, we wrote it by hand!". You've heard it all. They're probably just jealous that they didn't have all this technology in their day.

On the other side of the coin, I. Hate. Facebook. Hate it. It's confusing, convoluted, it leaves me feeling exposed, and is more like a chore for me. I wouldn't judge anyone else for using it, but I don't like being bugged to constantly update my page when I'm just not into it.

For me, what it comes down to is being told what to do. I've those in both camps either telling me I'm online too much and should just read a book to those who think I think get a WoW account, do more facebook, and tell me what browser I should use. It's MY life not theirs. I don't judge them for their choices they should grant me the same curtiousy.