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  • #61
    Originally posted by Ipecac Drano View Post

    "5 to 10 years"? That's hardly the norm or more. Anybody who gets out after 5 to 10 years most likely wasn't imprisoned for that severe of a crime in the first place.

    Miitchell Johnson and Andrew Golden. Killed five people, injured ten with guns. Mitchell was released eight years later. Andrew ten.

    There are other people that do that. Some people who murder get out after a year or two, simply because the person they killed was abusing them for years and they snapped.

    So naturally they get released. Murder is murder. Regardless of why.
    Toilet Paper has been "bath tissue" for the longest time, and it really chaps my ass - Blas
    I AM THE MAN of the house! I wear the pants!!! But uh...my wife buys the pants so....yeah.

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    • #62
      ^Now I don't think I agree with that. Because then state-sanctioned execution is "murder is murder, regardless of why." There's a difference between just wanting to kill someone for thrills, and feeling like you have no other choice because someone has been abusing and hurting you for years and no one else will help you and you keep getting hurt.
      "And I won't say "Woe is me"/As I disappear into the sea/'Cause I'm in good company/As we're all going together"

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      • #63
        It obvious. Ok, there are help signs every where. There are a million freaking ways to be safe, and people just refuse to belive it, and accept the abuse. All it takes is one call, and a freaking guts to you know, press charges rather then pleading with police to let their wife beating husband go.

        Had the husband attempted to kill the wife at the time, then yeah, self defense. Sneaking away from your hotel, break into his house where his mistress is, and blowing them both away with guns, then taking your kids out on vaction, was no cause for self defense. THat was premedited murder.
        Toilet Paper has been "bath tissue" for the longest time, and it really chaps my ass - Blas
        I AM THE MAN of the house! I wear the pants!!! But uh...my wife buys the pants so....yeah.

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        • #64
          Really? There are a million freaking ways to be safe? When you're being hurt and manipulated and mind-fucked every day, when your friends ignore your cries for help, when you don't dare go to the police for fear he'll kill you? Abusers are geniuses at making it seem like they're the good guy, like you're crazy, like they haven't done anything.
          "And I won't say "Woe is me"/As I disappear into the sea/'Cause I'm in good company/As we're all going together"

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          • #65
            Originally posted by Plaidman View Post
            Miitchell Johnson and Andrew Golden. Killed five people, injured ten with guns. Mitchell was released eight years later. Andrew ten.
            Thank you for that, but that doesn't mean that it happens in all or even most cases. (Not to mention that teenagers get more lenient sentences than adults do.)

            Originally posted by Plaidman View Post
            There are other people that do that. Some people who murder get out after a year or two, simply because the person they killed was abusing them for years and they snapped.
            Which is different than people who kill at random and for other reasons.

            Originally posted by Plaidman View Post
            So naturally they get released. Murder is murder. Regardless of why.
            Too bad reality isn't as black and white as you may think it is. Let's just do away with the Constitutional justice system and install frontier justice while we're at it, huh?
            "You are a true believer. Blessings of the state, blessings of the masses. Thou art a subject of the divine. Created in the image of man, by the masses, for the masses. Let us be thankful we have commerce. Buy more. Buy more now. Buy more and be happy."
            -- OMM 0000

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            • #66
              Originally posted by Eisa View Post
              Really? There are a million freaking ways to be safe? When you're being hurt and manipulated and mind-fucked every day, when your friends ignore your cries for help, when you don't dare go to the police for fear he'll kill you? Abusers are geniuses at making it seem like they're the good guy, like you're crazy, like they haven't done anything.
              Again. It's everywhere. Online. On billboards. You learn it everywhere that there is help, and you will be protected and safe. All they have to do is try, rather then just give up right away.
              Toilet Paper has been "bath tissue" for the longest time, and it really chaps my ass - Blas
              I AM THE MAN of the house! I wear the pants!!! But uh...my wife buys the pants so....yeah.

              Comment


              • #67
                ...I think I can't really respond to that point right now, or I'm going to well...go incandescent and that would probably get me with trouble.

                But you seriously don't understand the dynamics of an abusive relationship. At all.
                "And I won't say "Woe is me"/As I disappear into the sea/'Cause I'm in good company/As we're all going together"

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                • #68
                  This is a friendly reminder, soon to be an unfriendly reminder, that we don't tolerate personal attacks on this site.

                  Rapscallion
                  Proud to be a W.A.N.K.E.R. - Womanless And No Kids - Exciting Rubbing!
                  Reclaiming words is fun!

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                  • #69
                    Originally posted by Plaidman View Post
                    Miitchell Johnson and Andrew Golden. Killed five people, injured ten with guns. Mitchell was released eight years later. Andrew ten.
                    Mitchell is already back in prison. I think Andrew was smart enough to follow orders to move out of state and keep a low profile.

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                    • #70
                      Originally posted by Plaidman View Post
                      Again. It's everywhere. Online. On billboards. You learn it everywhere that there is help, and you will be protected and safe. All they have to do is try, rather then just give up right away.
                      I was in a severely abusive relationship-still have problems with my wrist and ribs from him breaking them-and remember I WAS IN THE DAMN MILITARY! I'm trained to defend myself by any means necessary, trained to escape, or make every attempt to if captive. I am by no means weak, yet I was beaten severely for almost two years.

                      Do you have any idea how angry I get when people ask me why I didn't "just leave"?

                      It's the equivalent of "blaming the victim", which is what the abuser does to keep you from leaving-so saying that to an abuse victim is in effect re-victimizing them, making them feel ashamed and weak and more likely to end up in yet another abusive relationship.

                      After I got out(with the help of friends that became concerned that they hadn't seen me in over a year*), my self-esteem was in the gutter, every time I was asked "why didn't you just leave, there's tons of help out there?" I heard: "wow you were obviously too stupid to get help so you deserved what you got." And from the people I've talked to that have been in abusive relationships, that feeling is almost universal.

                      information for anyone that wonders why abused people don't "just leave"

                      and another that discusses something called Psychological Reversals

                      Originally posted by Lynne Namka
                      Psychological Reversals are pervasive mental blocks that prevent you from making changes that are in your best interests. They are areas of yourself where you cannot change and do not understand what is happening to you. They are the dogmatic self-limiting beliefs, which keep you stuck, even when you want to act differently. They usually are in the subconscious mind and you are not aware of them.

                      *I was cut off from family and friends, he took the phone to work with him and locked me IN the house. I had no job, no money, and when I told him I was leaving and getting a restraining order I was reminded that by the time the police arrived my entire family would be dead, because he wasn't going to jail for me. Restraining orders don't work on abusers 90% of the time. And the shelters around here will only take you in if you have kids, as their space is limited. Plus my family would still be in danger-put there by my actions of leaving.
                      Last edited by BlaqueKatt; 11-08-2010, 02:29 AM.
                      Registered rider scenic shore 150 charity ride

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                      • #71
                        ^Thank you, BlaqueKatt. I was in an abusive relationship, too. I'm not in the military, nor was I trained to defend myself, so it might have been kind of doubly hard. He visited me in another state when I was visiting a friend, and then I ended up having to go with him when my friend's bf kicked us out [although he had his mom kick us out, it was supposed to be just the abuser >.>]. So in addition to the abuse, trapped in a completely different state, didn't know anyone else, lost, confused, and sleep-deprived. I ONLY got away from him because I had to leave to go back to school...and thank Gawd I did because then I could kind of "see" that yes, it was wrong. But I would even talk about it to people while I was with him, and they would be like, "No, it was just bad communication." Last I checked, saying "no" and the other person proceeding anyway wasn't just bad communication, but that's another thread.
                        "And I won't say "Woe is me"/As I disappear into the sea/'Cause I'm in good company/As we're all going together"

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                        • #72
                          Point still stands. As harsh as it sounds, you both are no longer in abusive relationships.

                          So it's flat out POSSIBLE to do it. People just don't for various reasons, primary fear.

                          Still not an excuse to murder, unless it was self defense.
                          Toilet Paper has been "bath tissue" for the longest time, and it really chaps my ass - Blas
                          I AM THE MAN of the house! I wear the pants!!! But uh...my wife buys the pants so....yeah.

                          Comment


                          • #73
                            Originally posted by Plaidman View Post
                            Point still stands. As harsh as it sounds, you both are no longer in abusive relationships.
                            You know how many I had after the first? More than one and less than 10 that's all I'll say.

                            And the only way I got out was not by myself, it was a group of friends, one of which happened to be an "enforcer" for a biker club. Yes it took a damn enforcer , and by proxy an entire biker club to keep me and my family safe.

                            Originally posted by Plaidman View Post
                            So it's flat out POSSIBLE to do it. People just don't for various reasons, primary fear.
                            um the first article I linked to listed 15 reasons-only two of them were fear....had I not had help I'd be dead.

                            Originally posted by Plaidman View Post
                            Still not an excuse to murder, unless it was self defense.
                            never said it was just correcting the assumption people in non-abusive relationships have that "you can just leave"
                            Registered rider scenic shore 150 charity ride

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                            • #74
                              Originally posted by BlaqueKatt View Post
                              never said it was just correcting the assumption people in non-abusive relationships have that "you can just leave"
                              You can just leave. Locked in a house? Break a window and crawl out. Boom. Now you can start walking. Since he isn't in the house an at work, you got quite the bit of time. Rent a hotel. Call up an old friend. Call up family. (Use a payphone, or call collect). Go to police. Get your abusive husband handcuffed and hauled away, and stick with the charges rather then just drop them.
                              Toilet Paper has been "bath tissue" for the longest time, and it really chaps my ass - Blas
                              I AM THE MAN of the house! I wear the pants!!! But uh...my wife buys the pants so....yeah.

                              Comment


                              • #75
                                Originally posted by Plaidman View Post
                                You can just leave. Locked in a house? Break a window and crawl out. Boom. Now you can start walking. Since he isn't in the house an at work, you got quite the bit of time. Rent a hotel. Call up an old friend. Call up family. (Use a payphone, or call collect). Go to police. Get your abusive husband handcuffed and hauled away, and stick with the charges rather then just drop them.

                                wow it was that easy and I never thought of it, wow I must be a total imbecile....oh wait, it's not that easy. Though for some odd reason the armchair quarterbacks of the world seem to think it is....
                                Registered rider scenic shore 150 charity ride

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