But I DO Care

[blas87]

This one is kind of silly, but it's something that irks me about certain people that think it's funny to mess with my hair or the way my bf thinks it's funny to pull on my belt loops on my jeans.

I care very much about my clothes. And my car, but that'll probably come later in this post. My clothes are the nicest things I have, other than the car. I don't have a lot of money anymore, when I was working a lot of overtime and when I was better off, I made an inventory of clothes that were supposed to last for a long time (gaining a bit of weight has made it a little difficult, but they still fit for the most part).

You may think that it's just a shirt or just a pair of pants. I do have somewhat expensive taste, but I do hit up sales or discount stores as well. I don't always pay full price or outlandish prices, but I CAN'T afford a new pair of jeans because you grabbed my belt loops and tore them off, and I won't put myself behind monetarily to replace them. It may not be my favorite shirt or one of the best ones, but a nasty stain or someone drunkenly walking and spilling their drink on it will send me into a fit of rage. I DO care if my clothes get ruined or have to be specially treated to save them.

I'm not a big fan of rough-housing or playing around, bccause when I do get time off of work, I like to wear my better clothes and jeans and I don't want someone pulling on my shirt and stretching it out several sizes or tearing it. If you see a loose string, DON'T pull on it. That may wreck it. I will flip out if my shirt stretches and makes that god awful noise that it's permanently stretched.

Also, noogies. NO. I'm not Barbie or a porcelain doll, but why is it funny to mes up my hair? I didn't spend hours or even that long on it, but I wanted it nice and even and straight, or if I feathered it, I want it to stay that way. Leave it ALONE.

And my car? I finally for once have a really nice car. I do NOT want to take it to the bar. I don't like playing chauffeur anyway and most of the time I get out of it unless I can get money out of it, but I am NOT putting myself in a position to have my car bashed into. I take that risk anytime, but specifically at bars or places where people have been drinking? I DO CARE. I don't care that insurance is for that. I don't WANT a higher rate. You are always at least somewhat at fault just for being there. I don't WANT a different car or a loaner while it gets fixed. I understand that my car can get hit at Wal-Mart or at work, but some places, you just ask for it to happen. So NO. We're taking yours, since you think insurance is magic, or we're taking a cab.

[Andara Bledin]

You may think that it's just a shirt or just a pair of pants.

It's not just a shirt or just a pair of pants, it's your shirt and your pair of pants.

I've gotten the same sort of thing out of people, and most of the time it's from people who have never really had to work to pay their own way or scrimp for things.

^-.-^

[RavenStarr]

I'm not a big fan of rough-housing or playing around, bccause when I do get time off of work, I like to wear my better clothes and jeans and I don't want someone pulling on my shirt and stretching it out several sizes or tearing it. If you see a loose string, DON'T pull on it. That may wreck it. I will flip out if my shirt stretches and makes that god awful noise that it's permanently stretched. .

Yep. And not only that, people take it too far with the rough housing. Usually the person being rough housed end up getting hurt.

And you're not being silly at all. You work hard to buy your stuff. People need to have more respect for other peoples property.

[Amanita]

Exactly! I make a lot of my own stuff, and would be ripshit if somebody damaged it like that.
Especially if they tried to brush it off with something lame like "It's just stuff!".
Yeah, stuff that took me hours or weeks to make, and I might not even be able to find the same fabric again, or anything like it.

It's like my friend on assistance who borrowed a lightsaber of mine and mishandled it when I was not there to discourage her. She doesn't have to pay for the stuff, after all.

[aurelemsrealm]

It all goes back to the issue of showing basic respect for other people. I'm a firm believer in the Golden Rule, myself. "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." That is one thing from the Bible I take quite literally, but enough about that.

By the same token, I also treat people the way they treat me. I start out treating people the way I want to be treated. Then, I change my behavior according to how they act toward me. In other words, show me respect if you want to gain my respect. Act like an ass toward me, and I'm likely to give a good swift kick in return.

You're not the only one who is particular about your space and your stuff. I'm also one who likes my own space, and I quickly get pissed off when anyone starts messing around with my stuff without asking for permission first. Furthermore, when it comes to my personal bubble and my stuff, I don't feel I should have to explain why I want certain things certain ways. Because I said so is the answer, and that's all anyone else needs to know.

[McDreidel09]

I'm with you, Big Sis. I do everything I can to make sure that the clothes I do have stay in nice condition. When I do my laundry, people look at me weirdly when I take my jeans out of the washer and stretch them and then hang dry them. Denim shrinks and I want these to last as long as possible. Certain shirts will be hang dried because I don't want them to shrink.

[blas87]

I do the same thing, lil sis. I don't put my bras or panties in the dryer....ever. My mom will come downstairs and watch me fluffing and puffing the padding in my bras back out, and laying them and the panties out to dry and look at me funny.

All of my nicer "weekend" or "day off" clothes are hand-wash, so I put them in gentle cycle, and run my hands over them and use several chairs lined up in front of fans or the wood stove, cotton goes in front of cold air, polyster and rayon in front of the woodstove (it's not shrinking type heat). My parents laugh at the obstacle course throughout the house of chairs and clothes, but I don't want my shirts to shrink or get ruined.

I got into the trend of looser fitting shirts after gaining a little weight and how hot it was this summer, and I'd always be freaking out at my boyfriend for tugging on my shirts, because they'd get looser than they already were. I think being rough and horseplaying is part of his ADHD, and it's one way we really clash because I hate being poked, prodded, tugged at, and grabbed. Of course, if you do it to him or dare touch his hair, he flips out.

Early in our relationship, we were messing around (the good way) and he grabbed behind my bra so hard he snapped my bra right in half. Thankfully, it wasn't a very expensive bra, but I was still mad. He got mad and played the whole "You can replace bras, you can't replace people!" routine, but I fired back that I can't keep buying bras just because he can't be gentle. That or (warning TMI) when we mess around, he just wants to grab my shirt and violently pull it down, and I'm terrified it will rip or another bra will die a horrible death.

Not too long ago, he was messing with me and he ripped out one of my hoop earrings. Thankfully, it didn't rip or stretch the hole in my ear, but it still hurt and even though it was a cheap pair of earrings from Claires or somewhere, I was still mad about it, like "Why do you always have to grab me like that, you could have torn my earlobe and I could be bleeding all over the place right now and never be able to wear earrings again!".......arrrrg.

It's just something small that irks me. That and he has almost broke the necklace he bought FOR me (that was very expensive!) multiple times already by messing with me and catching onto the necklace. That chain is more delicate than any other necklace I own.

[Boozy]

He got mad and played the whole "You can replace bras, you can't replace people!" routine...

That's not even a little but true.

Perhaps he needs a reminder that disrespectful boyfriends are very replaceable.

[Ladeeda]

I do the same thing, lil sis. I don't put my bras or panties in the dryer....ever. My mom will come downstairs and watch me fluffing and puffing the padding in my bras back out, and laying them and the panties out to dry and look at me funny.

All of my nicer "weekend" or "day off" clothes are hand-wash, so I put them in gentle cycle, and run my hands over them and use several chairs lined up in front of fans or the wood stove, cotton goes in front of cold air, polyster and rayon in front of the woodstove (it's not shrinking type heat). My parents laugh at the obstacle course throughout the house of chairs and clothes, but I don't want my shirts to shrink or get ruined.

I got into the trend of looser fitting shirts after gaining a little weight and how hot it was this summer, and I'd always be freaking out at my boyfriend for tugging on my shirts, because they'd get looser than they already were. I think being rough and horseplaying is part of his ADHD, and it's one way we really clash because I hate being poked, prodded, tugged at, and grabbed. Of course, if you do it to him or dare touch his hair, he flips out.

Early in our relationship, we were messing around (the good way) and he grabbed behind my bra so hard he snapped my bra right in half. Thankfully, it wasn't a very expensive bra, but I was still mad. He got mad and played the whole "You can replace bras, you can't replace people!" routine, but I fired back that I can't keep buying bras just because he can't be gentle. That or (warning TMI) when we mess around, he just wants to grab my shirt and violently pull it down, and I'm terrified it will rip or another bra will die a horrible death.

Not too long ago, he was messing with me and he ripped out one of my hoop earrings. Thankfully, it didn't rip or stretch the hole in my ear, but it still hurt and even though it was a cheap pair of earrings from Claires or somewhere, I was still mad about it, like "Why do you always have to grab me like that, you could have torn my earlobe and I could be bleeding all over the place right now and never be able to wear earrings again!".......arrrrg.

It's just something small that irks me. That and he has almost broke the necklace he bought FOR me (that was very expensive!) multiple times already by messing with me and catching onto the necklace. That chain is more delicate than any other necklace I own.

Uh, little off topic but... why are you still with him? 0o That's A) dangerous, B) completely disrespectful to blow off your totally reasonable requests to not grab and pull etc.

[LexiaFira]

I agree with Ladeeda since he cannot seem to understand or respect personal boundaries play or otherwise and gets upset if its done to him then maybe you should make yourself off limits with him. I'd say split but thats only if you don't want to work things out or try a compromise or something.
However if he cannot seem to respect you or your clothes seeing as you go to great lengths to take care of them then maybe he should be given the boot. This is taking all the times he has done wrong not just what you've told us.

[Rageaholic]

It's all a matter of respecting others belongings, ESPECIALLY when they're told 25 times not to mess with it but do it anyway.

I know some people who always mess around with stuff in my house even after we request for them not to. A lot of these folks are a joy to have around, but they just can't leave things alone and that's their only major flaw. Of course, others are just assholes who like to merge through my stuff just to find something to criticize or make fun of. The latter are the ones who really get under my skin.

[protege]

It's all a matter of respecting others belongings, ESPECIALLY when they're told 25 times not to mess with it but do it anyway.

Some people just won't take a hint. No matter how many warnings you give them, they don't care. Sort of like the time my brother thought it was hilarious to blow a whistle in my ear...and I beat the shit out of him. After multiple warnings, plus the pain, I punched him in the face. Hard enough, to not only give him a bloody nose, but knock his ass to the ground. Of course, he ran to Mommy and tried to play the 'victim' card. But, the prick didn't realize...that she'd seen and heard the entire thing. She said he got what he deserved

[guywithashovel]

During my last years of living at home, my dad was working day shift and then was retired. Because of this schedule, he did most of the laundry. When that happened, we had to guard our nice/dressy clothes. He didn't bother to sort anything. He just stuffed everything into the washer---towels, wash clothes, clothes, socks, and all---and washed it in hot water. Then, he dried it on high heat. Sweaters, dress pants, and other such clothes simply cannot be treated like that. It's bad enough to throw them in with the towels and wash clothes, but washing them in hot water and drying them at the highest possible heat is a guaranteed way to reduce their lifespans. If you tried to explain this to him, he'd either say, "It's not going to hurt anything" or "Just wash it in the gentle cycle along with some towels. Our towels aren't that dirty, so they can be washed on the gentle cycle."

That may not be totally relevant, but it's somewhat related.

Fortunately, I don't deal much with people who want to mess around with me and potentially fudge up my clothes or property, but that would really suck. And the whole "it can be replaced" excuse is really stupid. You don't buy clothes of any kind just so some goober can tear it up. Reading through this thread has made me think of the song "High School Never Ends" by Bowling for Soup.

[AdminAssistant]

Fiance is moving in on Thursday. We will be doing laundry separately because he is of the "throw everything together in the washer and dry it all" philosophy.

[blas87]

How do you make it into adulthood without knowing that you have to seperate your laundry?