People who bitch about their girlfriend/boyfriend/wife/husband.

[Plaidman]

Nothing in here.

[bhskittykatt]

Sometimes, Hubs does something that makes me PO'ed and I have to vent to someone else, but that's always about a single, solitary event, not a character flaw. I've accepted his character flaws and we've found ways to work around each other (i.e. he's allowed to occasionally smoke, as long as he keeps it outside and doesn't do it while I'm around and doesn't let it become an addicting habit).

If someone is venting about a fight they had, or the wall that got ruined in some DIY project, that's fine, but if they're ranting about their partner smoking, or watching Sunday night football, or something that's, you know, essentially part of that person's identity, then yeah, they may need to reevaluate things.

[Boozy]

Most unhappily single people don't like to hear others complain about their partners. That doesn't mean that its always wrong for people to blow off steam, it just means they should be careful about to whom they complain.

The same could be said about the jobless hearing complaints about one's tyrannical boss, the flat-chested hearing the about how difficult it is to find a bra with enough support, the guys without a car listening to someone bitch about their flat tire.... These are all valid complaints, but you've got to pick your audience.

[Teysa]

Just because you love someone doesn't mean you love every little thing about them. I care for my SO very deeply, but he irritates the tar out of me at times. I do things that irritate him too. Sometimes we'll even gripe about said irritations. Does that mean we hate each other or we should break up? I don't think so.

You seem to be under the impression that being in a relationship means everything is puppies and flowers. It's not. You have to work at it just like everything else. Yes, it's nice to have someone who cares for you and accepts you at the end of the day. But, those who say you have to care for yourself are right.

I do know what it is like to be alone and feel like there's no one out there for me. I wasn't Miss Popularity in High School or even college. Oh, I'd have the occasional date but my self-esteem was so low that I pushed most people away before they could really get to know me. I wasn't able to find someone special until I started embracing my quirks and accepting me for me.

It's easy to say 'love yourself' and 'accept yourself'. I know that. I felt the same way. However, everyone has at least one positive characteristic. You do too. More than one actually.

Don't lose faith that you'll find someone. In the meantime work on enjoying your own company. Plaidman seems like a pretty decent guy if you take the time to get to know him.

[AdminAssistant]

Just because you love someone doesn't mean you love every little thing about them. I care for my SO very deeply, but he irritates the tar out of me at times. I do things that irritate him too. Sometimes we'll even gripe about said irritations. Does that mean we hate each other or we should break up? I don't think so.

You seem to be under the impression that being in a relationship means everything is puppies and flowers. It's not. You have to work at it just like everything else.

QFT!

I love my Fiance very very much. He's just moved in (as in, yesterday) and I know that the first few weeks are going to be very difficult. We're going to be stepping all over each other's stuff, trying to find places for his things, getting adjusted to each other's schedules and habits, and so on and so forth. It'll be irritating. I'm sure that at some point I'll want to complain. But I guess I won't be bringing any of that here.

[LexiaFira]

was taught that that when you love and accept someone you accept that person as they are flaws, idiosyncrasies and all good bad and or otherwise. you cannot accept parts of them that you like and be as plaidman said bitchy about the ones you don't like
you can help that person change but that person has to want to change for themselves or for whatever reason but only that person can change themselves no one else

yeah i bitch/bitched about past exes. it took alot of help to realize i was in the wrong and to admit it but that if it annoyed me so much what could i do to solve it or at least make some compromise so that we don't drive each other nuts. (same process with hubs) but i was also taught that don't quit so easily unless nothing can really be done under my own control so i tried making it work but it takes two people to make it work as well

HOWEVER this is not to rub it in the OP's face either but i chose not to date or even notice the other gender until i was 21 or so. I wanted to graduate more than i wanted any attention of that nature

[DrFaroohk]

Yeah sometimes we just need to vent. Like if something if my wife does something to annoy me, yeah, I COULD bitch at her and start a big fight about it. Or I could bitch in my head and let some sort of resentment grow. Or I could just come online or talk to a friend and vent real quick about it. If someone doesn't like it, its their problem. If someone posts threads you don't like, don't read them. If someone talks to you in person about something you don't like, tell them. But don't try to stifle someone just blowing off steam. Sometimes it's necessary and it doesn't mean you don't love your SO anymore or that there are huge underlying problems, it just means that you need to blow off steam to prevent would could be a huge fight over nothing.

[AdminAssistant]

So you have no right to bitch at all, if they do anything that upsets you. You can be angry, but you have no right to bitch. Because you got someone, and when you start dating, you should know immedituly and accept that both of you, are not going to get along all the time. But since you are together, your going to be accept them.

That doesn't make any damn sense. Can I not bitch about my family either? People you love can still aggravate you, and you may still want to vent. Saying that being in a relationship means you can't vent *at all* is completely unfair.

[Ipecac Drano]

You should be pretty damn grateful you even have someone that cares for you to that degree outside family. Vent to yourself. Vent by writing to yourself. Don't vent to others. It kinda shows how selfish people can be, by bitching so much that someone dares to care about you fundementally. Your unhappy? Then don't go into a relationship. Seeing as you are still in a relationship, then it obviously isn't as angry as you'd think it is, otherwise you'd wouldn't be in something that is completely by choice.

What if the people who love you still do things that piss you off, even if their best intentions for you aren't there?

[DrFaroohk]

By the logic presented in this thread, basically no one ever has any right to bitch about anything.

[the_std]

Seeing as you are still in a relationship, then it obviously isn't as angry as you'd think it is, otherwise you'd wouldn't be in something that is completely by choice.

Plaid, honey, just because you have put relationships on this ultimate pedestal and made them the end-all be-all of of human existence and are therefore unhappy when seeing other people in relationships that are real and not fairy-tales where everyone accepts all of the negative things that happen to you... Does not mean that those people do not have a right to bitch. I'm sorry you're bitter, I'm sorry that this hurts you so much, but people in such a common situation are not going to be quiet just because it hurts you.

[Greenday]

By the logic presented in this thread, basically no one ever has any right to bitch about anything.

That seems to be about what I've read.

[Ree]

Plaid, honey, I understand what you're trying to say, but I have to tell you, that's not a realistic way to look at life.

As you know, I was totally devastated by the loss of my best friend and soulmate over 2 years ago. For a while after, I would hear women bitch about their husband or partner while I would have given almost anything to have my husband back with me again.

I wanted to say to them, "You know what, bitch? At least you have a husband."

Then, one day, after the grief had started to progress to new stages, it occurred to me, as much as I loved and adored that man, my husband used to do so many things that just pissed me off!!! LOL.
That's when I realized I had been getting too caught up in my own grief to see that people are not perfect. Spouses and partners have every right to vent and complain about things that the other person does that make them mad.

I realize you feel they should be grateful to have someone in their life, or that they should realize they chose to have that person in their life, but I'm sorry to say, Plaid, that does not mean they should never complain about anything that person does.

[Peppergirl]

Maybe I'm a bad example because I'm divorced, but when I was married - venting about him was the only thing that kept me from killing him.

[guywithashovel]

Plaid, I know you don't think relationships are all roses and sunshine. I saw where you said that in your OP. But you really need to find a way to cope with being single, or at least stop seeing it as the end-all of human existence. I don't mean to play psychologist or imply that there's something wrong with you, but this post along with several of your previous posts show that you're having a really hard time dealing with it. I can definitely sympathize with that, as I am single, and deep down, I would really like to change that. However, nobody seems to want me right now. They're all fine with chatting me up and friending me on Facebook, but I just can't seem to figure out how to ignite any desire for a relationship. Likewise, I'm on a dating site and have had very little luck with that. A relationship is something that, to me, seems so far out of reach that attaining one would be like winning the lottery two weeks in a row. I've looked at people in committed relationships and thought, "Gee, you really don't know what you've got."

But I just have to realize that being with someone is not the end-all of human existence, and that there probably isn't anyone out there for me, so I'm probably just going to have to build a life that includes only me.