People who ignore/ditch their friends & family for their new boyfriend/girlfriend

[KellyHabersham]

I sort of had this happen back in high school, when a guy whom I was getting to be friends with started dating my younger sister - let's just say that as things got more serious between them, being my friend/spending time with me wasn't as much of a priority.

[blas87]

Exactly, Pepper.

I don't really have as many friends as I used to, my free time off of work and away from bf is usually spent with my kid brother or going shopping or out to eat with my parents, but at least they have better things to talk about than getting shit faced/high and getting laid. I've drifted apart from a lot of friends, but it's because I've grown up quite a lot and want to find other things to do. For the billionth time, no one wants to go bowling with me!!!!!!!

My main argument with the bf/friends thing is that his friends are similar to him in the "seat of your pants" way of life, they cannot be bothered to call him any time during the week to see if he wants to go out or drive back home to hang out, it's always smack dab Friday or Saturday when we're already on our way to dinner or a movie or whatever we're doing. Even if it's just the "norm" for us, no real special plans, he gets no calls/no plans pre-made and they think they can just call him up and demand that he push me aside and go get plastered with them.

I can understand why the OP made this post. I very much agree that it sucks when you temporarily lose a friend to a new s/o, but it can also be really irritating when you're dating someone with almost all single friends or friends who do nothing but party, and they want your s/o to act and be the person they were before they met you. I lost a few girlfriends because I wanted to stay with my bf instead of continuing to go out and spend money frivolously on drinks and end up sick the next day.

[Greenday]

For the billionth time, no one wants to go bowling with me!!!!!!!

Well, sometime next month, I'll be in Indiana. That's kinda close to you (closer than NJ is anyway). We can go bowling then!

I lost a few girlfriends because I wanted to stay with my bf instead of continuing to go out and spend money frivolously on drinks and end up sick the next day.

My main problem is when my friends start dating someone, they will never go out. At all. Once every other month if I'm lucky. And especially not without their boyfriend/girlfriend. Stuff like, "Oh, I can't go out tonight. SO is feeling kind of tired." That's lovely. I asked you to go out for a couple drinks, not your SO. Last I checked, you are a person and only have to answer to yourself. Not let someone else make every decision for you.

[blas87]

Yeah, see, I don't boss my bf about. We did eventually come to an agreement that as long as he keeps his plans with me like our dinner or movie dates earlier in the afternoon/evening, go ahead and go with your pals later, but I'm not driving him there and he has to either stay sober enough to drive back or find his own way back, because I've already put my foot down with everyone that I'm no longer drunk bus driver, and if he's going to stay out late, don't expect me to stay up and be welcoming him with open arms and legs. If it's 4 am Sunday morning and I'm snoozing, then that's that. I think it's fair, if on the drop of a dime a friend is going to call up and demand that he go out drinking, he at least keeps his plans we originally had, and then goes out later. I have never nor will I ever say "NO you can't go see your friends!" or "You must spend every day with me!"

I only see him on the weekends as it is. The only time I actually did put my foot down was on our anniversary because we had plans to go out of state and one of his dumbass friends called Saturday night and wanted him to come back home for a huge Halloween party. No. Not on our anniversary.

Sure, that probably still sounds a little bitchy to most men I bet, but it works out for us. He gets his man time and I get a couple of hours of digital cable and free food at his house.

[Greenday]

While I don't like making plans far in advance, I'm not big on waiting until the last second to make plans. It's not a big deal to plan stuff a few days in advance.

[Jack]

OP: To be fair, I can understand your friend's side of it. Infatuation is a powerful thing and I've totally been in that place where I can't get enough of the person. But at the same time I think you're right. He should at the very least be upfront about why he's not spending as much time with you and others instead of getting defensive about it. I wouldn't mind being in your place just as long as the friend would not pretend like we're still going to be doing anything together. He needs his loveydovey time for now but he shouldn't make false expectations.

[Sarah Valentine]

He met her 3 weeks ago and they've been dating for almost 2 weeks, he acts like and talks like she's the only person in the world that matters. When us and a couple other people were over at Deandre's house hangin out playing Tekken, when right in the middle of a fight he blurts out: "This sucks, I wanna go hang out with my girlfriend." Who the hell does that, who the hell says that kind of shit when you chose to hang out with your friends? I'm not saying that he shouldn't hang out with his girlfriend he should, but he shouldn't ditch our plans to hang out just because she called. If you are hanging out with your friends don't spend the entire time texting her and talking with her on your phone, that's just rude and a little annoying. And your friends should never ditch you last minute if you have movie plans, I was stuck with 2 tickets and had to watch a movie by myself. (different person)

[Greenday]

When us and a couple other people were over at Deandre's house hangin out playing Tekken, when right in the middle of a fight he blurts out: "This sucks, I wanna go hang out with my girlfriend." Who the hell does that, who the hell says that kind of shit when you chose to hang out with your friends?

He met her 3 weeks ago and they've been dating for almost 2 weeks, he acts like and talks like she's the only person in the world that matters.

You answered your own question before you even asked it.

[Andara Bledin]

The guy is obviously tact-challenged and can't figure out how to be honest about plans, but I can totally see where he's coming from.

I know that whenever I get into a new relationship, I end up thinking about the other person pretty much 24/7 for anywhere from a week to a couple of months. However, I also understand that other people I know don't feel the same and don't want to hear about how I feel, so I keep my thoughts to myself or share them with the current object of my infatuation.

^-.-^

[Sarah Valentine]

I hung out with him today, he just got COD: Black opps. He said he's spending less time with her, he said he just needs to see his friends. I told him it's good that he realized he needs balance, he didn't say anything else about it.

[blas87]

I should apologize for the threadjacking I did previously, I am in a long term relationship and sometimes I feel when you've been dating someone for so long, there are some bad habbits that need to stop.

That being said, I can very much agree with the OP that someone who just starts dating someone or has a lot of shorter term relationships, it's very natural to get attached or forget your friends, but it is very frustrating.

[Skunkle]

Sarah, I see both sides of this. Having been in many relationships, for the first few weeks you're absolutely gobsmacked by overpowering attraction that your mind becomes one-track whether you like it or not. Get into what normally would be a fun time with buddies and, sooner or later, you're gonna go "I'm sick of being around people I like because, right now, I need the person I LOVE". It's a big deal. Doesn't mean they like you any less, but they really do crave that one-on-one time. Known her three weeks? Yeah, he's still blindsided by attraction. Give him some time. The reason he snaps at you is because what you're saying sounds like "How can you be so attracted to her that you can't make time for us?", and his mind is going "How can I? How CAN'T I be so attracted?? We're freaking IN LOVE!"

Give him some room. Video games are awesome until you're in love.

On the flipside, I have a friend here who's never been in a serious relationship, save for one that he considered "serious" but consisted of nothing more than living together and getting head from the guy - no reciprocation, no love, but "we're together". Any time any of his friends gets in a relationship, he absolutely CANNOT understand why they don't split time equally between their BF/GF and their friends (him specifically). I've tried to explain it, but the concept is so lost on him that "lost" is too mild a term; he's absolutely unable to comprehend why a relationship could ever take you away from chillin' with budz. I keep telling him the day he falls in love, I won't hear from him for a month; thing is, he's not the type to really fall in love (he quickly gets tired of absolutely anything: This is so aweso--NEW THING! THIS is so aweso--NEW THING! etc.) so I doubt he'll experience it for himself. My BF lives out-of-state, I only see him in person every few months, but on the rare occasion that he comes to town, once every three months if I'm lucky (I go down to see him as often as he comes here), he calls me wanting to hang out, and I tell him that, sorry, but I'm with my boyfriend who's in topwn for a few days, he gets all huffy and asks me why I'm "brushing him off", when there should be absolutely zero reason for me to be out with my BF when he wants to go hang out now, RIGHT NOW!!

I'm not comparing you to this guy, Sarah - I can tell you're not this extreme - but there's a small comparison: wait until you've just begun dating someone, first week or three, and someone who's cute, beautiful, funny, hot, cuddly and entertaining. Your bud calls up and you go play that new video game with him. See how many seconds it takes before you think, "This is fun and all but, y'know, I think I really just want to go find <person you're dating>"

[Sarah Valentine]

I have been in relationships and I've always set aside 2 or 3 "date nights" for that person, the rest of the week is for my family and friends. My family and friends have been with me for years so I'm going to be around them more, if the other person is too clingy and can't seem to wrap thier brain around the fact that unlike some people I like to split my time then I'll have to sit down and talk to them. And if that still doesn't work, oh well there's still plenty of people out there.