fake friends

[LexiaFira]

All right, so everyone knows what I did, if not, not posting it here.

I was standing up for a friend, i went about it wrong and was dumb about it. Well now i'm being ignored by people i thought were friends. And this is also in reference to a drama that happened before mine online with another person not on either of the forums. (yes i know friends get in fights and it boils over and they work it out or at worst never speak to each other again. but at least i tell someone why i'm ignoring or ditching them)

Why do people make friends and then when said friend does something dumb or bad act like they don't know them or ignore them INSTEAD of saying hey you screwed up but i'm still here. Or at least say yeah said person was wrong but thats my friend you're talking about without furthering the issue or drama.
I'm far from a good person but at least I'm loyal. And have done my fair share if not more of dumb things but at least i knew then who my friends were or thought i knew who they are. And i did apologize but for me its the thought that just saying sorry isn't enough something more has to be done, but with online what else can i do besides posting i'm sorry a thousand times or sending an ecard or something. its impersonal

point being i lost some friends. Kind of expected some backlash but not from my own....this is what loyalty gets me. and people wonder why i am antisocial and have issues. oh yesh i'm hurt but....how can i not take it personally

the real life drama on my end was i was trying to help a buddy who asked for help and she was offended that i was honest with her. I told her i wasn't going to sugar coat it because that wouldn't help her fix the issue at hand only make it worse. so i'm wrong for giving her the honesty she asked for and now am being ignored. I sent her a message that her understanding of friendship must be skewed because friends don't do that to others and if you didn't want that don't ask me for it. However i still have her on my contact list on my phone. its here i don't know about. that is all i have to say. no more posting for a long while

[Eisa]

I'm sorry, Lexia. I don't know much about the online stuff, but I hate when people want you to help and then get offended at you. Yes, you COULD sugarcoat things, but that's not going to help them in the long run or sometimes even the short-term, it just makes things worse and puts them off. Sucks when they can't see past what's going on to see that you're really trying to help them.

[tabbyblack13]

Lexia, I won't sugarcoat anything either. Sometimes I get so blunt I insult people but at least I do not lie to them.

Sugercoating will not solve problems only make them worst.

[blas87]

I don't know how much this helps, but a lot of times when my friends pull crap with me like demand that I spend time with them when THEY want but don't exist when I'd like to get a hold of them, or especially when I used to take them out drinking and they'd ultimately disrespect me by calling me names because I wanted to leave or didn't want to go all over town......I'd ignore them for several days, if the name-calling was severe enough, weeks.....I really didn't want to play the "You know what you did" card, because that's immature, but most of it was I was so angry with them that I couldn't speak with them in a mature or adult manner, so I figure it was best alone and seperated until I calmed down. But then again, do bear in mind that I am not friends with most reasonable or mature of people


I'm going to try to stay as neutral as I can on what happened recently (and I missed it anyway, didn't see it until it was well over), but this is a really delicate situation and when it comes to things like these, there are two sides to every story, and there are always going to be people standing up for him and people standing up for her. I think this was something that was better kept to ones self, because just about everyone on both sites knows the history involving the two members, and bringing up stuff like that can induce fights and flame wars amongst members, which isn't cool.

That said, I haven't any problems with you, just offering a little advice and some neutral feedback on the situation the way I saw it, and remembering how it originally went all that time ago and the negative feelings/threads/posts it creates when it gets brought up.

[Peppergirl]

Well said, Blas.

I've publicly stated several times that (as a non-mod) I care about both of the parties involved, but that there were people who behaved badly on BOTH sides in that particular thread.

As a mod, I had to put my personal feelings aside and get control of the situation, because crap like that cannot be allowed to junk up the boards that we all love, right?

I'm glad the situation has been 'put to bed' and hopefully we can all move forward.

Anyway, back to the OT: 'fake friends', as you put them, are an unfortunate life lesson. There are so few truly real and genuine people that come into our lives. When they do, we need to take hold of them and never let go. A truly good friend won't dismiss you like you describe. Please remember that.

[LexiaFira]

With the real life friends...
am no longer friends with this person as she officially told me off. I told her I am sorry she feels that way and that I will still be here and hope you figure it out. But please, get it straight that I was there, did what you asked of me and was there when you needed me and until now did not say one word about it. If she thinks those drunkards who would sooner ditch her because she passed out are her friend she is sadly mistaken and that I am not a person to call drunk in the middle of the night as I have a kid to care for and waking either one of us up is NOT wise. Any loss of sleep due to non emergency will get you hung up on or yelled at ESPECIALLY if you wake the baby.

The other friend I stopped talking to, deleted from contacts and all. She has a kid and SHOULD understand what it's like to raise a child. But she would rather dump her kid with family - who take good care of kid as I have witnessed this - and go get drunk and screw around and ALSO drunk call me, or call me to brag about how great its going and how she got laid and so on. I finally told her i can't recall when...that I was glad she was having a great time but she is a mother and she has a kid to care for and that yes its ok to go out once in a while but ALL THE TIME? Seriously what is wrong with you? Do not call me anymore, get yourself sorted out and be a mother or get bent.
And maybe I was wrong, but that kid the last time i saw him wanted nothing more than to spend time with his mom and his mom wanted to do nothing more than party all the time after work....


not going to bring up the whole issue with the other friends and stuff. it feels like whatever happened with them in real life should....heck I don't know, i wasn't there. no mention of it again as i learned my lesson and am taking the consequences for it

[Mytical]

This is one friend who isn't a fair weather one. Once I get a replacement (or repair the old) phone..we will talk. I see your 'status' is I - quit, and don't know if you come here any more though . Miss talking to you.