Friends and distance

[Cat]

Yeah. I have posted about this before, but a recent event made me want to vent again.

I have a friend who live a good driving distance from me. I used to head up there often, but stopped since work, chores, and whatnot take up a good deal of my time. This friend never bothered to visit my neck of the woods.

Didn't hear much from said friend, until last night, when I get asked if I wanted to go outta state to see his show. Now, he is talented, but I dislike his style of music. I am not about to drive 3 hrs round trip, pay for tickets, tolls, and food, to see a show I will not enjoy. I could go for support, but why if he doesn't show the same effort in my friendship?

Arrg! I swear its that part of the state, because I know other people who live there as well....and do they visit me? Nope...but will whine if I don't go over there.

Best part of this, he complianed that I travel to hike. Sure, but I enjoy hiking, and spend a week in NH...its a vacation!

If you want me to visit....do the same!

[blas87]

Hearing you loud and clear.

It's almost as if these people are in their own little world where everyone should cater to them and do what they want when they want it, but if you want to hang out with them or you want to connect with them, they'll only oblige IF they feel like it or if it's convenient for them at the time.

My friend and her husband both have this awful flaw about them. They are extremely selfish in this way. Everything I just mentioned above is how they treat me and my bf, I'm not sure about our other friends but they sure treat us this way. The husband will call/text my bf whenever he pleases and he usually leaves urgent messages/voicemails and my friend does the same thing to me, but 9 times out of 10, if bf and I call them, they DON'T answer and take their sweet time getting back to us, if they do at all. And they have thrown tantrums at us for being at the movies and not immediately coming to hang out with them, whereas if bf and I casually call to mention we are going out somewhere, they grunt "NO! We are painting the computer room!"...on a Saturday night.

Sometimes I really hate those two. Sorry for the threadjack.

[Cat]

Friendships of convience, so lovely huh?

Good thing is, I have started to hang out with friends I hadn't seen in awhile, so completely understand my schedule and we trade off on who visits who

[Plaidman]

Eh. I have friends all over. Most come to me. Lack of car. Lack of gas. No bus to go there. That and they all have jobs and money, and have no problem coming to me, or even picking me up to go to their place for a weekend or so.

Also glad I have friends all over I can text too. May never see them, or even talk to them, but I've been on many walks or movies, or any other random activies while they did the same, or something different. I think I had one walk while one was in hospital, another was on a crappy date, another was school, another was driving, another was reading a book and another one was at a party getting drunk. Fun times.

[Buzzy]

My best friend (who used to live in the same town as me) now lives a good 1/2 hour north of me, but she still works and goes to school in my town. Yet, whenever we hang out, it's always "Drive up to The Middle of Nowhereville so we can hang out!" And so I ask why doesn't she ever stop by after school or work, or meet me in town for lunch, even if just for a little bit, seeing as she's already in town? "Well, that's out of my way. I take the highway home and you don't live on the highway."

...my place is actually right off one of the highway exits, just go down 2 blocks and you're there. Plus, it's on the way from where she goes to work and school and her house, so it's not like she has to backtrack.

Thankfully she's the only friend of mine that lives out of town. All my other buddies live within walking distance, or are a roommate of mine.

[Cat]

If the friends has no means to get to me, I'd have no problem doing all the driving....but they have a car (two in fact) and can easily drive to see me (or other mutual friends) They just choose to stay at home and complain no one visits.

Just the fact my friend was annoyed I won't go to his show...it's not like I'd even have time to hang out with him. Needed another ticket sold, me thinks.

[muses_nightmare]

This annoys me, one of my friends insists I come out of my way to meet her whereever she is when she's in town. Now I don't really drive, and usually she's in North Vancouver, which is a good 40 minutes or so away by transit. Half the time she won't come to my part of the city to meet me somewhere unless she already had plans to be there. Yet I'm supposed to go way out of my way to meet her.

[Cat]

Haven't heard anything from the friend in question....oh well, lol. Hope they show does go well.