Rage Porn

[the_std]

I have trouble with the culture that springs up every time something bad happens to someone who belongs to one of the groups people find innocent/pitiable/sad. Whenever this happens, people come out of the woodwork to deride the Big Bad Person who caused this all in the first place, ooo, shame on them.

Now, I have no problem with being outraged by someone who is truly morally corrupt, or at the base reasons for such hardship. It is good to recognize that some things are bad and to reveal this badness to the world in hopes that in can be removed or lessened as much as possible.

No, what I have a problem with is the blind hatred that tends to come over people when these situations arise. People will cry for the blood of those who apparently caused it without trying to find out more about the situation. The masses look for vindication in those named as evil-doers, jumping into something which they know nothing about with no aim other than adding their voice to a frothing pile of vitriol. Even worse is when this happens and the facts have been misrepresented, and these people end up damaging innocents who were caught up in the shit-storm these things inevitably become.

This is even worse when I see it on our site. A place designed for bringing out opinions and truths, giving a voice to all viewpoints and, essentially, a place to learn and grow your mind. These subjects seem to be more and more popular now, with an increasingly-disturbing trend of posters commenting three or four pages in, having obviously not read what has already been discussed, and spewing forth a load of what I can only call - rage porn. What happened to the intellectualism that sites like this were supposed to foster? Why bother joining a place like this if all you're going to do is say "ME TOO!" and wave a pitchfork around?

I know I'm asking the impossible when I ask that people put aside their bile and think about a situation rationally before unleashing their hate upon the world. But I don't think it's too much to ask in this place of relatively smart people, all of whom have access to a gigantic net of information and resources. I've always likened this place to a smart-person's haven on this internet full of crazies and I would hate to learn that I was sorely mistaken.

[Andara Bledin]

I know exactly where this post came from and agree with you 100%.

It's sad and disappointing to come to a forum and find posters that you know to be reasonably intelligent jump into the witch hunt with both feet without any effort at all expended to discern where truth and reality might actually lie.

And, yes, it's so very much worse when they make a post that's on page 3 or 4 and it was pointed out on page 2 that the situation as described in the OP was grossly misrepresented.

^-.-^

[Plaidman]

It's hard to seperate logic from emotion. We're human, not vulcan.

Alot of us have had harsh pasts that may cloud our mind when it comes to certain issues, only because we've been that victim. It's painful and infurating to see people defend the people that caused that harm. It's like seeing your friends shaking your head at you, and telling you that you cannot be angry at your rapist, or your bullier and that it's just your fault, or that we're lying, or that we ourselves didn't understand the whole deal.

We play the situation in our head. We've been there. We can see how it went down, especally if alot of what victims say happened alot like our own.

Such as rape from someone that claimed to love you and respect you, only to be used a sex tool. Yeah, 14 year olds CAN make the choice of sex. So can 6 year olds. A six year old boy or girl can run into their babysitters arm and penis out of love and respect and need to be with them. When you find out how wrong it is, and how much you hate yourself over it because you simply cannot blame the man for doing it because you CHOOSE to do it. It eats you. THen you learn it shouldn't be your fault, then many many others suddenly start screaming for the blood of the victim. It's the victims fault. It does make you angry. It clouds your judgement. Just like it can cloud the judgement of a 18 year old, or a 22 year old, or a 50 year old that isn't mature and thus it's alright to fuck a 14 year old, a six year old or a 10 year old, because we need to understand it from their side, and accept it rather then even half listening to the victim.

Are all victims innocent? No. Even six year olds can want sex. The older people should know better not to get involved, regardless of their emontional state.

Bullies are even the worst. Most of us dealt with bullies. They are always defended by other students, parents, couches, teachers, principals, news. To see them as always be defended, to never ever ever have to face any type of punishment is stupid. They can cause as much harm and pain as they want, but the second a non-bully or unpopular person does the exact same thing back to them, they are suddenly scum and need to die. They are even furthered bullied and destoryed in death. It shows that people love bullies, and hate it when a person that is sick of being bullied, or sick of being used or hurt or negalated does something that the bully already done to them back, they are then given far worst treatment.


When people pasts come into play? Especally for those that cannot let go despite what treatment they went through? To see that their pain is basically thrown into trash and pissed on because hey, it might be completely their fault and not at all their tormanter? It can cause alot of heated emontions. It isn't easy to overcome. Being raped, or abused makes you know their are other people like that out there, that they are not alone. But seeing people defend the rapists and the bullies because it's not their fault they choose to do those actions? Yeah. It belittles us and makes us feel like shit.

[Boozy]

Before things get derailed too much... We don't need another thread about bullying. Even if that was the thread that inspired this one.

Let's try to keep it on topic. "Rage porn" is something seen all over media, not just at Fratching, and certainly not just in one thread.

[Lace Neil Singer]

I know exactly where this post came from and agree with you 100%.

It's sad and disappointing to come to a forum and find posters that you know to be reasonably intelligent jump into the witch hunt with both feet without any effort at all expended to discern where truth and reality might actually lie.

And, yes, it's so very much worse when they make a post that's on page 3 or 4 and it was pointed out on page 2 that the situation as described in the OP was grossly misrepresented.

^-.-^

Agreed. I actually was scared of posting the dissenting voice in said thread; I thought that I would be attacked from all sides. However, after rereading the thread and thinking that if I got flamed, all I had to do was contact the mods, I posted it. No-one should be scared to post a dissenting viewpoint.

I still don't see that an immature teenage boy should be vilified as a rapist, or that a girl who told a vicious lie and cried rape should be held up as a beacon of virtue, all cuz she didn't have the courage to face up to the situation she caused and killed herself.

I've seen this kind of thing all over the net. What scares me the most is people calling for someone to be boiled in oil, burned alive, tortured, suffer prison rape, torn apart... especially if said story is based on lies, or if someone was misrepresented. We're supposedly civilised enough that we don't torture people, even criminals. Calling for someone to suffer a torturous death just drags you down to their level.

[the_std]

Plaid, I'm not going to go into all of the detail you did in your post, but... Everyone goes through rough shit. EVERYONE. Everyone has experiences in life that will change the way they see things, everyone has emotional investments to certain things. Some people are raped, some are bullied, some are abused, etcetera, etcetera. And yet there are people out there, there are people on this site who can see past these tragedies and let rationality prevail. I am one of those people. I do not want to go into the things that have happened to me, because I let logic come before emotion. This doesn't make me a vulcan, I still feel things, I still have those emotions.

I know this will be easier for some people than others. I used to be like you, I used to be completely clouded by what had happened to me. But I saw how it affected my judgment and I practiced, practiced, practiced at seeing the logic and reason in things. I'm not condemning you, or anyone on this site, for not being able to put emotions to the side 100% of the time. What makes me sad are the people who make no visible effort, who yell "grab the torches!" before they find out Frankenstein's motivations. The people who have no leeway, no give, who see only black and white on certain issues and will never entertain alternative viewpoints or seek out additional information that could change what they think. I see it as a form of bigotry, and it exists here.

[blas87]

Everyone has their own opinion on every subject.

I have been guilty in the past of it, but I saw how much it irritated others, when a thread is several pages in and people just pop in without reading anything and there may have already been new developments.

Perhaps it's because I'm extremely vain and think the world revolves around me, but I can't help but think I am involved in the group of people you are complaining about. I don't fault you for thinking that way, it's your opinion.

However, std, do remember that you yourself multiple times have told me that this is a debate site and that my opinion is not the only view point or the end all be all. I can't help but feel that you may feel that your view point is the correct one on this matter.

In trying to keep myself out of trouble and maintain some self control, most of the time, if I dedicate myself to joining in a thread and someone whose posting style annoys me ("Why can't we all just get along" "But it could have been this this and this!" "Did you ever think that maybe he was always late before?" "But I know one person who isn't this way!" "But my brother's girlfriend's sister's dog's doctor isn't that way!" "It's the freedom of the people and the freedom to persue happiness!") unless someone is specifically talking to me or trying to debate with me, only then do I join in, otherwise I try to avoid it or just skim or ignore what they wrote.

I have recently realized there is no reason in getting overly upset over the way someone else thinks. You can't change the way people think. Not everyone thinks of themselves the way others do. In fact, I find it quite odd that someone who pushes the debate aspect of this site is worried that people aren't learning anything from the site, saying all we do is spew venom in certain types of threads. I was once told by you that this is not a vent site, so in other words, it's also not a learning site, but a lot of people would treat it like that, such as several if not most posters treat it as a venting site, a safe haven because of the core content.

My personal opinion is although it may seem annoying or worthy of an eye-roll to some, it's harmless and just words. It's not like me or anyone who shares the same views as me in that thread were really going to kill or torture that guy or the people still making fun of the dead girl. I doubt anyone on this site is the type to physically torture or dismember or run over or impale or murder other people. It's not rage porn. Perhaps some people on this site might have a lot of friends or people they can trust to vent or talk politics/social issues with away from the computer, but the majority of us utilize this site to vent and debate with each other because it's safer and we can express ourselves in a way that won't get us in trouble or thought of as crazy by our peers or coworkers or family.

I don't mean to be overly rude or nitpicky with you, but a lot of things you have said to me in our past horn-lockings are really coming to surface here and I think you should consider some of them.

[the_std]

blas, the point of this thread was not actually some of the things you mentioned. I truly don't mind people having view points that differ from mine, because I see debate as a way to learn, and how does one learn when all they are surrounded by are their own points of view? But I do consider it close-minded when I see people jump up and down on the same point, pointedly ignoring points brought forth by others. I'm not trying to say that they are not allowed their opinions - I make no effort to stop them expressing themselves. However, because this is a debate website, I will definitely point out the flaws and arguments in their own opinions.

I have told you in the past that this is not a vent site, blas, but you seem to be misinterpreting why I said those things. I have zero problem with those who post subjects to vent. My problem comes from the times when the original poster gets mad at people for bringing up other possibilities as to why the situation is the way it is, or gets mad for presenting other viewpoints on the situation. That's why I have no problem with me venting about those who seem to indulge so whole-heartedly in rage porn, and you bringing in your opinions on the subject. That's fine, this is what debate is about.

I guess that, in the end, my problem with rage porn is that it's so... Polarizing. People seem to love being outraged and will jump into it without so much as a second thought. The people who do this the most are curiously resistant to any outside influences, such as presentation of new facts or evidence. Rage porn brings out the worst in society, because those who love it see themselves as being sympathetic with the "victim" of these situations, so they see themselves as doing only good, and cannot see any other side to it. This is really too bad, as many of these terrible, horrible things that get so over-presented in the media and in every day life are nowhere near as black-and-white as many people represent them to be. I wish, perhaps in vain, that people could be a bit more open minded and, while I don't want them to change their opinions outright, I do wish they might consider or listen to other points of view without their fingers in their ears.

Also, I see a much larger instance of this in the media and real life than I do on this board. Just so you guys don't think I'm only attacking the people here.

[blas87]

I would like to think that I'm not the bottom of the barrell of monkeys in society just because I tend to get a little if not overly passionate on certain things, and almost always side with the victim and tend to take a Nancy Grace stance on almost all subjects.

I don't think everyone who is that passionate is that low either, for thinking that way. It's human nature sometimes to make a snap judgement or not get a second wind because it's something so shocking or just unbelieveable and sick.

There are people who have big hearts, those hearts bleed for others and they can give the benefit of the doubt. There are people who are in the middle. Then there are people who doubt, don't always trust, and think the worst of many. And perhaps there are people even in between there as well. I wouldn't classify people's status in society by how big their heart is or by how much it bleeds or if it doesn't bleed, nor would I say that people like me only do it to look "good". I know I don't look good. In the eyes of lots of people, including most on these boards, I'm overly conservative, paranoid, non trusting, old fashioned, and a flat out evil bitch who needs to get laid. I can deal with it.

[the_std]

I'm not saying that anyone is a worse person for acting the way they do - myself included. I am not making judgments as to anyone's worth at all. And sympathy is all well and good and, yes, natural. But it is not the most effective tool we as human beings have in our arsenal of helping people. Empathy far outweighs sympathy in helping people and improving/understanding problems. Sympathy is, in a nutshell, understanding someone's situation and getting emotionally invested in it. This works out well when our best friend gets their heart broken, or someone's loved one has died. Empathy, however, is understanding someone's situation and offering consolation without getting emotionally invested. This is far more effective in situations on a grand scale, such as a best friend assaulting their bff's ex for hurting them, or when someone goes vigilante because their aunt was mistreated in a hospital. Most large-scale events do not benefit from emotional investment, as it clouds the nature of what actually happened.

An emotional reaction is completely understandable - we cannot override our natures very easily when it comes to those instantaneous reactions. But I'm not talking about that. I'm not talking about the people who lash out initially but take it back once they've had a chance to calm down. I am talking about the people who never make an effort to step back and see things outside of their initial viewpoint. I'm talking about the people who embrace that initial reaction and run with it, never letting it go no matter what else comes up. This tends to be a disturbing trend when the subject is something that is big and scary and heartbreaking. This is what I lament.

[Rageaholic]

But, but but... Rage is my middle name!!

All joking aside, I can't say I disagree. I hate when people let their emotions cloud their judgment. I remember several years back on another forum when I argued about stop signs. I didn't think it mattered if someone made a full stop. As long as they at least slow down, and make sure no one is coming, the stop sign has served it's purpose. Well, you'd have thought I had advocated all out anarchy! I was accused of being reckless and was told that I would hit a kid if I wasn't careful. Granted, the one who accused me did lose a friend to reckless driving, so I did feel bad about that. But was she really being rational here? I don't think so.

Anyway, I think many visit these sites to rant and let off some steam. It was one of the main reasons I signed up. So to an extent, I think it's healthy to be passionate about a topic, but when taken to an extreme, holy shit do things get ugly!

[Andara Bledin]

My personal opinion is although it may seem annoying or worthy of an eye-roll to some, it's harmless and just words.

No. No it's not. This is the attitude that gets people lynched or drives them to end their own lives.

I sometimes wonder what it was about my own upbringing that makes my reactions so very different than others who have gone through the same things.

I was the "victim" of statutory rape. Technically, based on the ages of my partners, I was also guilty of the same, although they were probably twice my own age at the time. I was also verbally and physically abused for pretty much my entire school life, including things not too far off from the prom scene in Carrie, which event was actually mild compared to some of the other abuse I was subjected to by my peers.

However, instead of lashing out now against anyone who could be perceived as doing the same to others, I take a moment to try to get more information than just a single news report or blog post before throwing my own pitchfork into the fray.

Maybe it has to do with being a pacifist and against the idea of hurting others except when unavoidable. Maybe it has to do with my own personal hatred for being wrong and I just can't stand the idea of making mistakes. Maybe it has to do with the fact that I refuse to become the very same type of person that led to my torment as a child.

Regardless of the reason, there's really no excuse for thinking rational beings to jump into the fray on an Internet forum without at least some attempt to harness their rage and engage their intellect. Everyone would be better served if we left the frothing at the mouth to rabid animals.

^-.-^

[Plaidman]

But, but but... Rage is my middle name!!

I think ya mean your first bro... what with the Rageaholic....starting with Rage.

Maybe Ahol would be your middle...

[Plaidman]

In response to Andara Bledin.

It's likely just how you are. People can move on from their pain, and be better. Others cannot, and become worst, (Or gives them strength and be better).

People are all different. I got into a pretty fierce argument with a friend once because of my lack of feelings due to terrorst attacks of 9/11. He couldn't understand how I couldn't feel bad, or horrible or sad at all that so many people lost their lives. When I responded that I didn't know them, he again, said that by seeing the videos I should have felt something. Despite me saying that thousands of people die everyday, some of them very brutally and without hope, others by accidents etc, and I cannot grieve for them ether. He again, stress it was different since it was so close to home. I again, said even in America, hundreds of people die every day. I cannot be sad for a few people and forget others like they didn't matter. I've never be able to do that. I feel guilty if I try, because it isn't fair to grieve for others and ignore others. Friend eventaullay gave up and just declared that I have zero empathy.

Point is, to some people words are just that. Words. To others, they're everything. People can accept some of the worst things imaginable, while others cry and hit themselves if they see a fly get too cold.

Everyone is different in how they accept reality. That can't ever change.

[the_std]

Bumping this thread to add a new spin on my hate for rage porn.

The obviously fake stories that get posted on CS, usually involving the police, where OMG THE WORLD HATES ME!!! but, conveniently, the whole thing is wrapped up in a nice little package by the time they get posted, and all the OP has to do is sit back and soak up the sympathy...

And then the hordes upon hordes of users who swoop in with "that sucks!!!! sue the courts!" or "oh my god, your poor, sweet man, how could such an evil thing ever befall someone as fantastic as you?" and so on and so forth. This is especially sickening when the user is someone with a very short posting history, usually mundane stuff, and then all of a sudden, BOOM, they're the victim of the universe. And no one posting stops to think about how everything adds up, or really, really doesn't. They're just so excited to rant against the supposed evils of the legal system, or the evil person who did the OP wrong, that they're just splooge hate all over the place, rather than take a rational second and think about it all.

This drives me absolutely insane.