Yup you read that right, currently I hate me. Why you may ask? Well I have a problem, not a huge glaring problem that people can see but a very painful, shameful, and irritating problem. I have a stupid perfection complex... people around me can screw up because that is ok for them, but for me, well lets just say it is not pretty.
I know stupid reason to hate yourself, right? One of the reasons that I do not edit my post online is simple: I try to write what I am thinking in a free writing process that way I dont go and edit my post to death. I know a few on here are annoyed at my use of the ... for me those are sorta like pauses when you speak.
Now normally most people would think a perfection complex would drive one to be the best that they can be, a dancer, runner, martial artist, etc. Sadly for me it is a major hurdle and source of shame and guilt and more then once self punishment. It pisses off my husband, drives my friends insane, and makes me feel like a failure.
I can not even write a simple shopping list without going through half a note book of paper. I have been working on a novel now for a long while except I get about half way through and then my brain tells me that I am shit, it is shit and I delete it. And right now I am working on cooking for tomorrow and I am all I am a fuck up it is not right omg will they like this...
Fucking I hate myself for being this way... meh! thanks for letting me vent... feel better sorta.
I know stupid reason to hate yourself, right? One of the reasons that I do not edit my post online is simple: I try to write what I am thinking in a free writing process that way I dont go and edit my post to death. I know a few on here are annoyed at my use of the ... for me those are sorta like pauses when you speak.
Now normally most people would think a perfection complex would drive one to be the best that they can be, a dancer, runner, martial artist, etc. Sadly for me it is a major hurdle and source of shame and guilt and more then once self punishment. It pisses off my husband, drives my friends insane, and makes me feel like a failure.
I can not even write a simple shopping list without going through half a note book of paper. I have been working on a novel now for a long while except I get about half way through and then my brain tells me that I am shit, it is shit and I delete it. And right now I am working on cooking for tomorrow and I am all I am a fuck up it is not right omg will they like this...
Fucking I hate myself for being this way... meh! thanks for letting me vent... feel better sorta.
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