ADD: You have it and you and you and you

[Rageaholic]

I'll also say, that I don't recall using my mental issues as an *excuse* for things. All I've ever asked is for understanding. I can't help the way I am. I also don't consider myself "weak." Those issues, have in fact...made me stronger somehow, and probably explain my "bring it on, bitch" attitude.

Ooh I hate that! There's this misconception that those with ADD, aspergers, autism, or any other kind of mental difference think they are "special snowflakes". Maybe some do, but for a lot of us, it's more a matter of acceptance than expecting the world to bend over backwards for us. The Public Schools operate on a one size fits all basis. Those who don't fit the typical student are expected to conform. A lot of the accomodations aren't asking for much at all (other than bending or changing the rules that are already in place). So by their logic, by not conforming, we think we're special? WTF?

[IDrinkaRum]

*headdesk* My daughter is 7. Was diagnosed at almost 4 years of age.

How is she going to think she's a special anything? She's a child for goodness sake!

As for me & her daddy? I think she's special because she's my daughter not because she has autism. I make sure she knows there are consequences to her actions. Every child needs to know that. (And I've been told I shouldn't discipline her because she's autistic and therefore she doesn't know what she's doing. )

[blas87]

This is going to sound bad, really bad, and I apologize. But there are times when I just want to throttle my boyfriend and scream "What the fuck is wrong with you, why can't you just settle down and concentrate and listen?!"

But I do feel for him. I can only imagine what it's like to be him. He had it really rough in school, and I think part of the reason he is such a resistant person is because of a lot of disdain (is that the right word?) and harsh treatment from teachers and peers (who think like the statement I made above).

It doesn't excuse a lot of really rude and inconsiderate things he does, but it can very much explain. If you were picked on or treated like an idiot for so long, you're bound to have at least some form of resentment towards "normal" people. I just wish he'd understand that I wouldn't be with him for over 2 years now if I wasn't trying with him and doing my best to learn from him and understand and be patient with him, and instead of being resistant to things other people say or ask of him, just to do them and let it go.

[ExRetailDrone]

While I don't have ADD (that I know of), I can empathize with dealing with the stigma of a 'fashionable' disorder. I was diagnosed with depression over a decade ago. It took a lot of strength for me to even get that diagnosis officially - I pretty much knew I had it, but I just couldn't make myself go to the doctor. I felt like I was failing myself by doing that. Not logical, perhaps, but it was the way I thought about it.

I remember it getting really bad in later high school, where I would go into deep pits for no major reason at all. I thought I was going crazy and I never told a soul. Although I now wonder if a friend of mine saw my self-inflicted marks ever but didn't say anything about it. Then I went to college and it got even worse. I was lucky if I could drag myself out of bed to go to class. During my first year, I had to return to school later after a break because I had a huge panic attack and just freaked out. My parents were less than sympathetic, trying to make me go back when I had no clue what was going on with me My dad told me that if I kept it up I was going to get him fired and sent to the poorhouse. That still hurts to think about, even after so many years.

Through all of my dark thoughts, self-harm, lack of motivation and energy, insomnia, fatigue, etc., I've told very few people about what I deal with. I don't want to be thought of as someone vying for attention, because that's the last thing I want. I just want some understanding and compassion. I don't want special favors and I certainly don't want to be treated differently because my brain isn't wired the same way as some others.

[Mytical]

While I don't have ADD (that I know of), I can empathize with dealing with the stigma of a 'fashionable' disorder. I was diagnosed with depression over a decade ago. It took a lot of strength for me to even get that diagnosis officially - I pretty much knew I had it, but I just couldn't make myself go to the doctor. I felt like I was failing myself by doing that. Not logical, perhaps, but it was the way I thought about it.

I remember it getting really bad in later high school, where I would go into deep pits for no major reason at all. I thought I was going crazy and I never told a soul. Although I now wonder if a friend of mine saw my self-inflicted marks ever but didn't say anything about it. Then I went to college and it got even worse. I was lucky if I could drag myself out of bed to go to class. During my first year, I had to return to school later after a break because I had a huge panic attack and just freaked out. My parents were less than sympathetic, trying to make me go back when I had no clue what was going on with me My dad told me that if I kept it up I was going to get him fired and sent to the poorhouse. That still hurts to think about, even after so many years.

Through all of my dark thoughts, self-harm, lack of motivation and energy, insomnia, fatigue, etc., I've told very few people about what I deal with. I don't want to be thought of as someone vying for attention, because that's the last thing I want. I just want some understanding and compassion. I don't want special favors and I certainly don't want to be treated differently because my brain isn't wired the same way as some others.

This, a thousand times this. "Depression is not a REAL problem", "Just get over it already.", etc. I lost count on how often I heard those words. How I should just 'man up' or 'take it like a man'. I was put into a ward for a bit, because I was so depressed..I just wanted my life to end.

The feeling of weakness, of hopelessness, that you have let everybody who ever cared for you down. It was too much, and it was crushing me. Problem was, they just tried to throw medicine at it. Yeah, I was no longer sad..but I was EVIL. We are talking make Attila the Hun look like a warm fuzzy bunny evil. Any anti-depressant, didn't matter, and I would stop caring about anything or anybody. I'd skin somebody as soon as look at somebody.

Eventually, I managed to get a clear enough head (by not taking the medicines) that I realized that a choice between Zombie or Soon to be serial killer was not a very good choice. Since I had willingly checked in, I willingly checked out. I was still depressed, but at least I wasn't dangerous to anybody but myself. ((Yes, I had tried them all, every last type of anti-depressant))

Everybody thought it was just hypochondria, or just me being lazy.

[IDrinkaRum]

Alternative ADHD treatment for parents to follow for their kids

Instead of medication, try following these rules/examples, and hopefully it will help.

...instead of saying, "Clean your room," say, "Straighten your bed pillows and blankets."

If you give small, specific instructions on what you expect from them, they will respond better to what you want. Also, the article says, let your kids help in picking out what they want to do.

It also says let them get structured exercise (yoga, martial arts, etc.) and let them get outdoors more often.

It sounds like a good idea, not sure if it'll help everyone, but I think it's worth a try.