Selective memory

[Ree]

I probably shouldn't even post this because it opens a can of worms and I know it will invite debate both from people who know me as I truly am, and from those who only know me because of what I have done on an internet forum. I will take what comes, though, because I am mature enough to accept the consequences of posting on a debating forum. I am venting, though, and I am not in a really good emotional place. I have been really hurt.

I have been a mod at CS for a very long time now.
I like to think there was a reason I was made a mod that had nothing to do with favours from friends or just because somebody felt like naming me a mod.

I know I have been hard-nosed, or heavy handed, and I know I have made enemies, but I do not believe, despite numerous accusations over the years that I have ever "abused my mod powers".

I have made moderator decisions that have always been for the good of the board. Many people may not agree with me, but by many accounts, people love the way the site is run as a safe haven to come and vent about their days without the nasty flaming that takes place on other sites.
They like the spirit of the site and the sense of community and respect.
I like to think I had a hand in helping that along.

Not one of my decisions has been made on my own whims.
I have always acted in conjunction with the entire mod team.

Any PM that I send to a member gets shared with the entire team, or is CC'ed to Raps. I bet people didn't know that when they have gone running with accusations of nasty attacking PM's from me.

Quite frankly, I have not been acting in full mod capacity for quite some time now, but nobody has even noticed.

It seems that even one moderator action every little while gets met with an accusation of my being heavy handed and abusing my power.

Even people for whom I have stood up and defended or offered a word of support get all pissy and nasty and call for my head on a platter if I even dare to touch a thread or send a comment their way.

Talk about ungrateful!

I get accused of yelling at people or raking them over the coals, but when I go back and read what I wrote, I can only see that I tried to be as polite as I possibly could.
I guess nobody likes to be told "No" and so, having been a mother for 24 years, and having worked in retail for over 30 years, I should be used to petulant little tantrums, but it still hurts.

I have made many friends at CS, and I like to think I have been a good friend to others.
I have always tried to offer support to others, even while going through my own trials and tribulations in my personal life, yet I constantly read nasty comments about me questioning why I am still a mod, or why I was even made a mod.
I have had my character and mental state questioned and I have been insulted and mocked.

I am tired of it.

It's just an internet site and I have enough crap going on in my real life.

I love the site, though, and walking away from it is not easy.
I have come to really care about the people whose stories I read.
I have watched some members grow up on CS from young students in part time jobs to adults in the working field.

I could resign as a mod, and believe me, I have had that letter written for a while now, ready to send, but I like to think I earned that title and I am not going to let whining, bitter people with an axe to grind push me away.

It just gets hard sometimes, and it does hurt when a person who benefits from my moderator actions one week starts badmouthing me the next week because they don't like one of my decisions.

It's selective memory, and it stinks.

[Lace Neil Singer]

Please don't resign! You've helped me a great deal at CS.com and I for one would really miss you if you were to quit as mod.

Believe me, the amount of crap a person gets when they become part of forum staff is something I understand. I admin a forum and get it in the neck whenever a member feels that they're above the rules. For example; I can give a rulebreaking user a polite warning about breaking the rules, and get a nasty, abusive PM back. It makes me very unhappy; however, I know that the majority of people appreciate mine and the rest of the staff's efforts to keep the place running smoothly and try not to let it get to me. But it hurts sometimes, it really does.

[Ree]

But it hurts sometimes, it really does.

Yes it does.

I can totally relate about trying to be polite and ending up with an abusive PM.

It's so funny when that happens and you just know, if that same person was being treated badly and in need of a moderator to step in, it would be a whole new story.

[Greenday]

It seems like it's the internet trend these days. Any time a mod steps in a situation in their official capacity, they are somehow abusing their powers. And 99.9% of the time, no matter what forum I'm on, action was taken for a legit reason. No one just wants to be told that what they did was bad or wrong.

[guywithashovel]

I have been in and out of CS since the early 2000s, and honestly, I have encountered a few mods here who, frankly, shouldn't have been given their positions. But Ree, you're not one of them. I hope that you don't choose to resign.

During my time at CS, there has been a slight tendency for people to want to think that it is somehow "different" than the other forums online, but for the most part, it really isn't. There is petulance here. There is trolling here. We get people who can't handle people who take different points of view than they do. We get people who get dish crap out but get in a tizzy if one of their sacred cows gets taken to the slaughter house. I will say that this site and CS does make moderating a bit more of a priority than some of the other sites I've been on. I haven't been on too many other forums, but one of my other haunts is less moderated than this one. There are mods there, but flames aren't taken quite as seriously as they are here. They have to have a lot of venom before anyone steps in.

Basically, a lot of people just don't like being told what to do.

[HYHYBT]

Selective memory works both ways, perhaps; I have had very little interaction with anyone (on any board) in their official moderator capacities, but tend to think of you still as the cheerful Official Greeter.

Have a hug?

[Greenday]

As far as mods go, Ree, on any forum I've been on, you are far from being a mod I have issues with.

[Ipecac Drano]

I, too, have a selective memory; one that remembers a lot of good things I have done for others on my own forum. I also have a "Search" button. If someone publicly "forgets what I had done for them out of convenience", I'm pretty quick to find said favor and post the link right after their slur.

[blas87]

I find it a little disturbing that out of all the moderators on the site who could step into a thread and do their job, you'd be the one accused of abusing power. There are several moderators all together, each one does their part to keep these sites clean. At this point in time, I don't see why ANY moderator should be pinpointed as a power-tripping jerk.

There is only one instance I felt that way about a mod, not that long ago there was a moderator who was a class act all around jerk who was not polite, not helpful, and certainly not caring. That is the only moderator I have ever had a problem with on here and CS.

That was obviously not you.

I'm saddened that you feel this way. I encourage you to keep your position as a moderator. You said it yourself that you were picked for a reason. It's kind of like how no matter how good of a job you do or what you do at work, someone may always find something about you to nitpick about (the general you, this could be anyone), but always remember that the boss picked who they picked or delegated the task to who they delegated it to for a reason.

Keep your chin up and please do not give up.

[Plaidman]

Your an incredible mod Ree, and the bulk of users love you.

You don't abuse your powers at all, you've always done your best for the boards.

Don't listen to nasty pms from idiots who hate being called on their actions. Your doing your job (Err, unpaid but still). Your not being mean to them, not picking on them, your just doing your best to make everyone feel welcome.


Please don't give up.

[BlaqueKatt]

Quite frankly, I have not been acting in full mod capacity for quite some time now, but nobody has even noticed..

i personally don't notice the mods-they're kinda like IT-if they're doing their jobs you don't ever notice, you only notice when they stop completely. So to me the mods are more like board ninjas if you will-they sneak in edit a post throw a shuruken(warning/infraction), and disappear in a poof of smoke. If one's not as "active" as some of the others, I just assume, that, like the other members they have stuff going on outside the board.


REE=ninja mod

I now have this mental image of a ninja with a laptop stuck in my head....

[Andara Bledin]

You, abusing power?!?

While you aren't my favorite mod, and we don't see eye to eye on more than a couple of issues, anyone accusing you of power tripping is talking out their ass because they got caught doing something they shouldn't have.

From everything I've seen you post, and what few interactions we've had otherwise, you're a good person and a good mod.

Don't let some people, lashing out in the heat of the moment, drag you down.

^-.-^

[kibbles]

Over the years I have made some poor posting decisions and you Ree have always treated me so nice and with so much respect. Most mods on other sites may have just banned my outright, but you took the time to honestly discuss my posting style with me.

I really appreciate that fact and no one should make you feel like you do any less!!!

[Lace Neil Singer]

Agreed. I had a few spats on CS.com and Ree was always the mod I went to to ask for advice and help. I believed then, and still do, that Ree was a perfect moderator who always saw both sides and was always fair in any given situation.

I know that sounds fangirly but it's the truth. While there have been occasions when I have believed that a mod was out of line, I've never thought that about Ree. She's kind of like the den mother of CS.com. ^^

My main peeve with annoying users where I admin is people who overreact to gentle ticking off, then it escalates into a fullscale snafu. Like one girl who was ticked off for spamming who eventually ended up on a temp ban cuz she reacted to her ticking off by going on a fullscale spamming assault on the forums after sending me a PM filled with profanity and nastiness. -.-

On the other hand, I've gently ticked off people who's reaction is more along the lines of "Whoops, sorry! I won't do that again!". One such person is now a Greeter on said forum; they learned from their mistakes and deserved to be promoted.

[McDreidel09]

Who do I have to go after?

Ree, you and I may not see eye to eye on many things, but you are not only a good mod, but a good person. I could never see you do anything that would even be considered abusing your power or title. You are too honest of a person to do such a thing and I admire you for that. Please don't resign. Don't let a few jerks ruin this for you because the majority of people here love you.

Don't go!